how do you get the man you want??

staceys

hi everyone, i'm just wondering as a somewhat shy 17 year old girl still in secondary school how would i go about "getting the man ii want" haha!? like iv never flirted before but how would you subtly go about giving signals ha im hopeless!!:D:D

Captain Chaos

staceys wrote: »

like iv never flirted before but how would you subtly go about giving signals ha im hopeless!!:D:D

Don't be subtle, guys don't get signals or can't read them or girls give out conflicting signals at the same time.

staceys

haha right well what body language would you use to show him your into him without actually saying it ??;)

Wibbs

Put down traps. Baited with bacon for the older gentleman. For the younger, try a really convincing fake ID.

Real answer? Become the woman you should be. The man you want will respond to that.

Easier answer? Dont play games. Let him know. Subtle usually doesnt work. If you think you're being clear and he doesnt notice, step it up a gear. Suggest hanging out together. Talk with him. Smile. Works on most.

My humble anyway.

Professey Chin

staceys wrote: »

haha right well what body language would you use to show him your into him without actually saying it ??;)

We also don't get body language(short of you stripping naked and jumping on us.Even then its a grey area)
You're much better off just saying

jigglywoo

Wibbs wrote: »

Put down traps. Baited with bacon for the older gentleman

I think any man of any age will respond to bacon

deelite

Have a general conversation with him. Some fellas are lovely to look at but they can't hold a conversation to save their lives. Whilst other fellas mightn't have the looks but they can keep you entertained for hours on end. Choose wisely.

jenniferk905

u've obviously got your eye on him! jus play it totally cool..if he likes u he'l make the move u shouldn't have to..and personally if he doesn't make a move..he's just not interested! from my experience anyway!

staceys

you see cause im so shy i think i've put him off as i seemed "not interested" but only because i was afraid to try flirt in case of rejection:D

princess-lala

staceys wrote: »

you see cause im so shy i think i've put him off as i seemed "not interested" but only because i was afraid to try flirt in case of rejection:D

Talk to him more

Suggest hanging out alone or even the cinema

jenny4385

wasted years being the shy girl .. still am to an extent but i went after the guy i was crazy about in college. we went out for 5 years after that...

staceys

ha nah we're not even on talking level haha!how can i get him to WANT to talk to me??

princess-lala

staceys wrote: »

ha nah we're not even on talking level haha!how can i get him to WANT to talk to me??

Why arent you talking then?

beagle001

Walk up to him ask him out straight up n I guarantee u he will say yes if pit on the spot be yourself after that

ztoical

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

We also don't get body language(short of you stripping naked and jumping on us.Even then its a grey area)

Friend really liked this guy in work, flirted like mad but he never picked up on. One night she managed to crash at his after a big staff night out. He was a pure gentleman and let her crash in the bed and he took the couch. She then sent him a text saying she was in his bed naked and cold and god love him he brought her in an extra blanket and went back to the couch.

Hitting over the head with a brick is the only thing that works on guys!

princess-lala

ztoical wrote: »

Friend really liked this guy in work, flirted like mad but he never picked up on. One night she managed to crash at his after a big staff night out. He was a pure gentleman and let her crash in the bed and he took the couch. She then sent him a text saying she was in his bed naked and cold and god love him he brought her in an extra blanket and went back to the couch.

Hitting over the head with a brick is the only thing that works on guys!

Why arent all men gents like that

Ok a bit slow on the up-take but most men arent that bad!!

Op have you his number?

jenniferk905

staceys wrote: »

you see cause im so shy i think i've put him off as i seemed "not interested" but only because i was afraid to try flirt in case of rejection:D

ok ok! well then loadsa eye contact (not too muc obv) but a few subtle looks up and down will get him going and im SURE he'l get that! if not just try and talk to him have a laugh but most importantly be YOURSELF! jus act relaxed and confident guys love that!

Faith

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

We also don't get body language(short of you stripping naked and jumping on us.Even then its a grey area)
You're much better off just saying

LOL! I really laughed out loud at that .

What is your situation with this guy? How do you know him?

miss5

I think you should talk to him, Do you share common interests? Do you hang out in
similar social circles? Once you initiate conversation I'm sure he will respond.

Rozabeez

If you've never really spoken to the guy, then you liking him is probably down to physical attraction so far. If you can just block that out for awhile and talk to him like you would any other guy friend, it'll get much easier. Get to know him, let him get to know you, and see if things take off from there. It's not easy being shy but you'll have to take the jump eventually.

Good luck!

i.need.a.job

i always say the worst that can happen is no.. and if he says no, then move on.... but theres always a chance he'll be interested... you'll never know if you dont chance ur arm ...

Novella

jigglywoo wrote: »

I think any man of any age will respond to bacon

Unless he's a veggie. Then I suggest potatoes. Everyone loves a potato!


Naw, seriously, how do you know him? From school or? You could always just say hi. Oh, what am I doing posting in here?! I've no idea how to make a guy like you! When you find out, please PM me! :P

GirlOfGlass

Just go for it. Simple as.
TALK.

FishFood

Ah the old bacon trap eh Wibbs, I remember one day myself and my mexican friend, Juan, were on a night out when suddenly Juan spotted what looked like a bacon trap laid by an attractive young woman. Confident of his pulling abilities he approached said bacon trap but when he was only inches away he was suddenly jumped by 5 burly guys and severaly pummled. He managed to crawl back towards me after the beating and even though he was in extreme pain he managed to whisper: 'Fish, eez no bacon trap.....eez a hambush...........

jenniferk905

jenniferk905 wrote: »

u've obviously got your eye on him! jus play it totally cool..if he likes u he'l make the move u shouldn't have to..and personally if he doesn't make a move..he's just not interested! from my experience anyway!

oh my :rolleyes:

keane2097

jenniferk905 wrote: »

u've obviously got your eye on him! jus play it totally cool..if he likes u he'l make the move u shouldn't have to..and personally if he doesn't make a move..he's just not interested!

No!

plasmaguy

deelite wrote: »

Have a general conversation with him. Some fellas are lovely to look at but they can't hold a conversation to save their lives. Whilst other fellas mightn't have the looks but they can keep you entertained for hours on end. Choose wisely.

Aww that's so unfair.

Myself personally, it takes me a while to get comfortable around new people, women especially...but once I do get comfortable, there's really no stopping me.

Some guys are all talk the first time you chat to them but you might find out it's the same thing they keep talking about.

Some guys take a while to get into their stride.

So don't be put off by a guy who's nervous the first time you talk to him.

i.need.a.job

plasmaguy wrote: »

Aww that's so unfair.

Myself personally, it takes me a while to get comfortable around new people, women especially...but once I do get comfortable, there's really no stopping me.

Some guys are all talk the first time you chat to them but you might find out it's the same thing they keep talking about.

Some guys take a while to get into their stride.

So don't be put off by a guy who's nervous the first time you talk to him.

why should anyone be nervous? just go out an do what you have to do ..

plasmaguy

i.need.a.job wrote: »

why should anyone be nervous? just go out an do what you have to do ..

Just nervousness that's all, worried I'd say something stupid and mess up my chances.

i.need.a.job

im not cocky be any means but im just confident... i get rejection too... i guess i just look at it that its a bit a fun and if it doesnt work out there is plenty more out there..

Howard the Duck

Did somebody mention bacon?

Scarinae

Rozabeez wrote: »

If you've never really spoken to the guy, then you liking him is probably down to physical attraction so far. If you can just block that out for awhile and talk to him like you would any other guy friend, it'll get much easier. Get to know him, let him get to know you, and see if things take off from there. It's not easy being shy but you'll have to take the jump eventually.

Good luck!

I agree with Rozabeez! Some people have been saying you should just walk up to him and ask him out, but if you've never really spoken to him and you're quite shy anyway it would probably be a bit out of character and terrifying! You're better off hanging out with him and getting to know him as a friend, and see what happens. Is he in your circle of friends? If so, great, just start talking to him, see if you have anything in common. If he's not in your circle, is there any way you could hang out eg. are there any parties coming up you know he and his friends might be at? If so, maybe head along and see if you can get chatting in a nice social situation

McChubbin

Simple advice that I'm still figuring out for myself.

Screw any notions of chat up lines or attempts at being suave. As others have said, sublty will get you no-where. At the same time, you don't want to come across as a desperate saddo.
Just do what I (rarely) do: If you see a bloke and think "Oooh, he's dishy!", give them a once over. Find something distinctive about them-could be the glasses, maybe the hair or an interesting hat.

Then, just casually ask a question pertaining to it.
Example: "Sorry, but I couldn't help admire your hat! Where'd you get it?"

It's simple, straight-forward without being creepy and as it's sort of a compliment, it don't come across too sleazy. It's a good way of striking up a conversation without making out you're on the 'look out' and it also has the added bonus of allowing you to suss out the person by opening up a thread of conversation.

Also works if you're socially awkward like myself. It's just a matter of mustering up the courage to approach someone first. I find just telling myself "Hey, it's just a person. They look interesting but only one way to find out!" is a good way to get over the nerves.

Also: DON'T go for lads in nightclubs or discos. they could be really interesting and funny when drunk and a total pleb when sober. Also, you've a better chance of finding someone compatable if it's in an enviroment where you can indulge your interests.

Alternatively, if he's a cute bloke in the Meat isle of the supermarket and he's holding a packet of Dennys, just ask him to recommend something.
They seem to like it when ladies ask qustions about meat... >_>

Mmmm. Hippy Ham Man. You will be mine.

Zamboni

ztoical wrote: »

Friend really liked this guy in work, flirted like mad but he never picked up on. One night she managed to crash at his after a big staff night out. He was a pure gentleman and let her crash in the bed and he took the couch. She then sent him a text saying she was in his bed naked and cold and god love him he brought her in an extra blanket and went back to the couch.

Hitting over the head with a brick is the only thing that works on guys!

Been that soldier!
Petrified of making a move in case you're reading the situation wrong.

The Big Red Button

Apparently my boy liked me for ages before we started going out but was afraid to make a move because he just wasn't sure if I felt the same way.

I mean, hello!!! We were part of the same group of friends, and on nights out, if I wasn't out dancing with him, I'd make sure everyone else got the available seats first so I would "have to" plonk myself onto his lap. I would drag him out to deserted car parks late at night (wearing a very short skirt!) so that he could teach me how to drive. And then, whenever he was driving, I'd put my hand on top of his to get used to the gear changes (just as part of my driving education, of course.) I initiated really obvious conversations about "hypothetical" situations where a guy and a girl could be really good friends, but it could develop into more than friendship.

Then one day when we were out driving, I asked him to pull in, I kissed him and said, "I like you. We should go out together." Five and a half years later, we're still together and very very happy.

So yeah. In my experience, boys suck at interpreting signals. Simplicity works best.

staceys

hey guys just found out today the lad i liked has started going out with another girl :rolleyes: ah well shuda given him the eyes sooner haha!

Professey Chin

staceys wrote: »

hey guys just found out today the lad i liked has started going out with another girl :rolleyes: ah well shuda given him the eyes sooner haha!

Hmmmm the eyes appear to have failed.
Well it mightn't last forever & once it doesn't, forget eyes and go with rugby tackle

Scarinae

chatterpillar wrote: »

Apparently my boy liked me for ages before we started going out but was afraid to make a move because he just wasn't sure if I felt the same way.

I mean, hello!!! We were part of the same group of friends, and on nights out, if I wasn't out dancing with him, I'd make sure everyone else got the available seats first so I would "have to" plonk myself onto his lap. I would drag him out to deserted car parks late at night (wearing a very short skirt!) so that he could teach me how to drive. And then, whenever he was driving, I'd put my hand on top of his to get used to the gear changes (just as part of my driving education, of course.) I initiated really obvious conversations about "hypothetical" situations where a guy and a girl could be really good friends, but it could develop into more than friendship.

Then one day when we were out driving, I asked him to pull in, I kissed him and said, "I like you. We should go out together." Five and a half years later, we're still together and very very happy.

So yeah. In my experience, boys suck at interpreting signals. Simplicity works best.

Hahaha that's just like me and my boyfriend! I pursued him for ages, giving what I thought were the most obvious signals... I was so good at making sure I'd be sitting next to him, or that I'd be put in the same group as him on field trips (it's all about where you place yourself!) There was even one time at a party where we fell asleep together on a sofa, apparently in my sleep I snuggled right up to him and was stroking his arm Getting him alone several times that would have been perfect kiss opportunities didn't work either, so in the end I ended up kissing him! It's been over three years now

staceys wrote: »

hey guys just found out today the lad i liked has started going out with another girl :rolleyes: ah well shuda given him the eyes sooner haha!

Awww I'm sorry to hear about that... Like Ultimate Chin said, it may not last - however, don't just mope around waiting for him! Get out and enjoy yourself, you never know who you might meet when you're not expecting it

Emme

staceys wrote: »

hey guys just found out today the lad i liked has started going out with another girl :rolleyes: ah well shuda given him the eyes sooner haha!

Onwards and upwards. You're 17, there are plenty more fellas out there so move on and find another.:)

k1ll1ngt0n

Here's a brief look into the male psyche:

As much as we try to play confident and charming, we can be nervous wrecks too. I think that's a good thing. It keeps us humble and someone being nervous could suggest a person that doesn't make the regular routine of breaking hearts.
But we have inhibitions too. We see attractive women, we completely lose our train of thought and let her walk by without saying a thing. Then we cuss at ourselves for not saying anything. We get scared and bashful.
Somewhere in between the emotional mess both genders face, it seems to be the socially acceptable thing for the guy to make the first move, so we look like the mumblin' idiots first.
Here's my advice: if you see a guy you like; catch his gaze, smile and then beckon him on over. I mean, we're guys, we're programmed to chase skirts.

We're flattered that you chose us as much as you're flattered that we mustered the courage to talk to you.

PS: Make sure he's sober.

johanz

staceys wrote: »

hey guys just found out today the lad i liked has started going out with another girl :rolleyes: ah well shuda given him the eyes sooner haha!

If he's the right one, you might get him back. If not, there's still a lot of men out there.

If you like someone, tell them so, otherwise it might be too late.
I once liked a girl in school, but never had the guts to ask her out, now I moved countries and we won't ever meet again.

Though it all depends on what kind of man he is. I am personally really shy and wouldn't like if some girl would come to me and say "Lets go out" out of a sudden. But then again, other men like it straight, so yeah...

gooch2k9

Smoke signals! Every man gets smoke signals!

johanz

gooch2k9 wrote: »

Smoke signals! Every man gets smoke signals!

Every native american man, yes.

gooch2k9

Sure didn't the apaches themselves come from this fair isle!

DublinWriter

ztoical wrote: »

Friend really liked this guy in work, flirted like mad but he never picked up on. One night she managed to crash at his after a big staff night out. He was a pure gentleman and let her crash in the bed and he took the couch. She then sent him a text saying she was in his bed naked and cold and god love him he brought her in an extra blanket and went back to the couch.

Cute story, but honestly, us guys aren't that dumb. He didn't fancy her. Or had the ghey. Or both.

Us mens don't see the world as wimmins do, everytime we walk down the street the women that we see are superimposed with big green LED numbers indicating the percentage of shagability, possibility and potential availability.

It's all numbers and stats to us, they come rolling out at us from our field of vision. It's truly horrible and is like being in the movie Tron or the central character in Robocob.

Jumpy

DublinWriter wrote: »

Cute story, but honestly, us guys aren't that dumb. He didn't fancy her. Or had the ghey. Or both.

Us mens don't see the world as wimmins do, everytime we walk down the street the women that we see are superimposed with big green LED numbers indicating the percentage of shagability, possibility and potential availability.

It's all numbers and stats to us, they come rolling out at us from our field of vision. It's truly horrible and is like being in the movie Tron or the central character in Robocob.

Except when we drink it's more like the scene where he is trying to shoot the baby food.

johanz

DublinWriter wrote: »

Cute story, but honestly, us guys aren't that dumb. He didn't fancy her. Or had the ghey. Or both.

Us mens don't see the world as wimmins do, everytime we walk down the street the women that we see are superimposed with big green LED numbers indicating the percentage of shagability, possibility and potential availability.

It's all numbers and stats to us, they come rolling out at us from our field of vision. It's truly horrible and is like being in the movie Tron or the central character in Robocob.

Hey hey, don't generalize here.
I would never take advantage of a drunk female friend. Hell, I wouldn't take advantage of drunk anyone.

And your spelling is quite bad too, at least use spellcheck addon for your browser.

Wibbs

johanz if you have a problem with the legibility of a post please report it. No reason to get digs in thanks. Lets all get back on to topic too

johanz

Wibbs wrote: »

johanz if you have a problem with the legibility of a post please report it. No reason to get digs in thanks. Lets all get back on to topic too

Why should I report it? It broke no rules.

Wibbs

Exactly, so lets ease off the spelling digs please. Let this be an end to it.