I think I've ruined it all

LegacyUser

Please read this, I know it's long.
Ok, so me and my friend (J) had a fight with my friends (O, A, M and C) last night. My friends (O and them) hate J and likewise. Last year in 2nd year we had a huge fight because I wanted to be friends with J and they wouldn't let me. So I was back friends with them this year. We're doing our Junior Cert. They (O and them) wanted to go bowling on Friday but I couldn't. So they go, everyone except C. I go on msn when they would be home and ask how it was and O says 'yeh it was class... have a good time studyin?' and then A says the same. O has been on my nerves for some time. Never has anything nice to say about me. She calls me a social r****d and says I'm ugly in round about ways (I hate the way I look anyway). I was friends with her when she had no one else. She has been chopping and changing between friends with J and us. Now she's with us because she decided she hates J for no reason. I'm on J's side on this. I didn't go bowling mostly because of O but I couldn't go anyway (I could have gotten out of it but I didn't because of her, she would say more stuff to me)
Anyway, so me, A, M and C are all in a convo on msn and I'm talking to J in a separate one. A suggests that we add J. A has been annoying me recently (her and C calls us lesbians etc) so when J was added I said 'Hey babeee' just to annoy her.
Anyway, this was all just a joke until O came on. She told me I was ugly so I responded to that saying that she won't have anyone at this rate (She's not doing TY, the rest of us are). So it goes on, them calling us lesbians. I didn't even say anything bad about them, I kept it like civil. Me and J decide to leave but they add us again. We leave again and go offline.
This morning when I signed in, A had left me an offline message saying 'thanks for sticking up for us, know who real friends are now' I replied and said that they had said things to me aswell and she replied saying 'Well I hope you and your girlfriend are happy now, I'm glad you have a new friend and lost 4'
It was all a joke in the beginning, it was their idea too. A's acting like it's all my fault (as usual) and she didn't do anything wrong. I just replied to what they were saying. They didn't stick up for me once when O or C said anything. M stayed out of it. Oh, and O isn't a good friend of ours, only when she needs to be. She's 'bezzi's' with C now even though they hated eachother.
I am so nervous about school now because me and J are in different classes. I'm scared that they will laugh at me and say stuff to me. I can't not go in because they'll laugh then too. My locker is right beside theirs.
Any advice, please? I'm so worried and I feel so panicky. I already have problems with myself like liking myself etc and being on my own and now I just feel like crying.
Sorry it's long but please read.

The Recliner

OP please be careful about how much information you give out on the internet, you never know who will be reading it and who will recognise it

I have removed the names referenced

dan_d

OP you're 14?15?Are these your friends from primary school? And I'm assuming you're a girl....
I'm taking it that they are your friends from primary school. If so, what's happening is what happens to almost every person going from primary to secondary school at some point. You're making new friends, and some people can't handle it. It changes from kind of being friends with everyone, to people disliking others, because, well, everybody's different. If this O person is so horrible to you, then maybe it's time you just moved on and found other friends.She doesn't sound like she's worth your time.I know it's easy for me to say that, but that's what'll have to happen. A appears to have a fascination with O - let them at it.
Another word of advice...the internet is dangerous,and is the source of endless rows among teenagers (and older people too!), as are text messages. Don't be drawn into using MSN, Facebook, Bebo etc as a forum for your rows, or leaving nasty comments. Here you are worrying about comments left on a website - ruins your weekend, and you're worrying about things that haven't happened yet and might never happen.
I don't know what other advise to give you other that to just try and be yourself. If you like J and want to be friends with her, then do. Eventually the others will get bored - people like this tend to have a ringleader, and you'll find that if you ignore them, they do lose interest.Do not engage with them. I know it's so hard being 15 - but you should do your best not to let people like that get to you. People can only make you feel as bad as you let them.
I don't know what your TY is like either, but at the end of my TY year I found myself with a totally different set of friends, as the school mixed everyone around. To today (I'm 27) they are still my friends - and not those I knew up to JC.You've only a few more weeks to go of school, if even that. Concentrate on your exams, hold your head up and be friends with who you want. If someone's main aim everyday is to run you down, then they're not worth being friends with.

Chinafoot

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore.

Look, girls at that age can be complete and utter bitches. They flit between hating people and then being best mates and it can all be very superficial. It's headwrecking to be around if you have any sort of maturity.

I wouldn't bother with these girls anymore. If you convince yourself that you have to be friends with them because of what class you're in and what class J isn't in then you will give these cows far too much control over you.

Ignore them, get on with your schoolwork and see your friend J at the breaks and after school. They sound like a pack of cows and you might be surprised who else in your year you can become friends with once you get away from these, particularly O. Anyone who feels the need to call someone they're meant to be friends with "ugly" clearly has some issues of their own. Also, OP, if you are feeling down about yourself would you consider some counselling? 14/15/16 is a tough age but you need to recognise that being around people who do nothing but put you down is only going to make you feel a million times worse. You don't need these people.

Best of luck with it.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your help everyone. No, they aren't my friends from primary school, we only met in first and 2nd year. J is a really good friend of mine, better than any of them. I've decided I'm going to make new friends in TY because I just don't want to be tied down and stuff.
I feel sorta bad because A is moving though. And also, I'm worried that if J isn't in school I'll have no one. I'm worried about in the classes with the other girls that they'll say stuff to me and they'll laugh at me on my own. It's 4 against one.
Thanks for your help again.

Chinafoot

It'sMe wrote: »

And also, I'm worried that if J isn't in school I'll have no one. I'm worried about in the classes with the other girls that they'll say stuff to me and they'll laugh at me on my own. It's 4 against one.
Thanks for your help again.

Ok, if J isn't in school on any given day you keep yourself busy at the breaks. Go for a walk, go the library (if your school has one), find somewhere to read a book and eat your lunch. There is nothing wrong with spending an hour or so alone. You can't be dependent on other people all the time. Alternatively you could use this time to speak to other people in your year and start getting to know them.

If they give you **** in your classes, ignore them. Don't even let their presence register with you. If it gets to the point where you feel intimidated and bullied by them, go to a teacher you trust and explain whats been going on. Bullying is a serious issue in schools and if the staff have any cop on it'll be sorted.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your help.
C said sorry to me earlier on msn. So did I. I want to say sorry to O because I said I hated her and no one would like her. I said it to J and now she's mad with me. I just don't know what to do now, I don't want all of this right before my exams.
Now J is mad with me because I was talking to C. I texted her and explained and she just replied 'I don't care'. I don't know what to do again. I won't have anyone now. The people I was hanging out with, I got the feeling they were annoyed by me.
I don't know what to do.