why is height such an issue for me?

LegacyUser

i'm expecting a right ribbing for this in advance but i just find it hard to be physically attracted to men who are shorter than me. i'm 5ft 4. i've met some lovely lads but for some reason the height thing holds me back. awful i know but can't help it. i'm not looking for mr 6ft 4 or anything, just an inch or 2 taller than me would do.
do i need a good smack? i'm expecting that i do but i know that there are many other girls who think the same. i like this guy at the moment but i'm taller even in flats. i hate the idea of wearing heels when i'm out with him cos that makes me a few inches taller still!
i wish it didn't affect my attraction to him, i really do and i know it's so superficial but especially given this current guy i like, i'm really trying to get over the height thing!

i just need to be told to cop myself on rightly! go on ahead and do your worst!

Silverfish

Everyone has preferences. Yes, in a nice world we'd all find everyone attractive, but it's not the way things are. Some people prefer tall people, or small people, or blondes, or brunettes or redheads, or skinny people or overweight people.

Give the guy a chance anyway, chances are that after a while you may thing 'His height? Oh, I'd forgotten about that'. You don't have to marry him immediately or anything.

krudler

A lot of men would be intimidated going out with a woman taller than them, shorter than 5ft4 for a man is pretty short though, I'm 5ft9ish and wouldnt consider myself tall at all most of my friends are taller than me, I'm usually the short one in our group!
just go for guys you're comfortable with. Theres no point going after people you're not attracted to initially for whatever reason.

LegacyUser

Hey Op,
Do what feels right as if you're into the guy then it shouldn't matter.
I've had two gf's that are about 3" taller then me and it made no difference to us; they used to give me serious abuse about it (taking the piss), so it was something we were aware of but I more than made up for my being a 'short-ass.'
You do give the impression you really like this guy, so rather than avoiding the 'issue' see if you can bring it into conversation and turn it into something you both laugh at.
Believe me, he will be aware of it and if he can embrace/laugh at it then you may have found a 'little' gem.
Or continue to search for someone a few inches taller that 'measures' up to the guy you really like - good luck with that!
I'm a short-ass and I rock.

dublingal80

op, dont be putting too much pressure on yourself. if you like the guy, you like the guy. if you arent attracted to him because he is shorter than you, thats fine too.

im 5'3 and personally could never have dated someone smaller than me. i have only properly met 1 guy that has been shorter than me.. any other guy friends or guys i had met on nights out were always taller

just have fun and dont be worrying so much

ManOfMystery

OP I'm just a bit curious, I would have assumed the majority men are over 5"4, yet by the sound of your post it seems you have trouble finding any? I'm a 5"9 guy and in fairly broad circle of a few hundred friends/associates I can only think of about 2 guys who under 5"6.

LegacyUser

Questions!!
You're clearly attracted to him but the height difference is 'affecting' your attraction to him.
Do his other qualities that have drawn you to become attracted to him outweigh the issue of height? If they do then continue and if they don't then don't mess him about and move on.
Is it the case the you feel genuinely less attracted to him because of the height difference or is it that you'd feel uncomfortable in public with him because of perception?
And is there any possibility that you're using, unconsciously or otherwise, the height issue as a reason not to hook-up with this guy?
Finally, no matter how you look at any relationship there are all build on attraction and compromise, so be 100% certain that if you find a bloke at the right height you will have to make a compromise in some other form.
I'm a short-ass and I want to be someone's fairy godmother.

LegacyUser

fivefootfour wrote: »

Questions!!
You're clearly attracted to him but the height difference is 'affecting' your attraction to him.
Do his other qualities that have drawn you to become attracted to him outweigh the issue of height? If they do then continue and if they don't then don't mess him about and move on.
Is it the case the you feel genuinely less attracted to him because of the height difference or is it that you'd feel uncomfortable in public with him because of perception?
And is there any possibility that you're using, unconsciously or otherwise, the height issue as a reason not to hook-up with this guy?
Finally, no matter how you look at any relationship there are all build on attraction and compromise, so be 100% certain that if you find a bloke at the right height you will have to make a compromise in some other form.
I'm a short-ass and I want to be someone's fairy godmother.

are you him???

no, you're right, I am attracted to him and it's silly to get hung up on the height thing. guess I've probably als dismissed fellas if i thought they were "short" (compared to me of course as I'm only 5 4") which was probably v unfair but then again, as someone else said - some of us prefer taller, shorter, thinner, whatever.. Plus, I've spent years around women who'd say yeah he's lovely but he's too short and I've been inclined to agree, ashamedly.

but I spent a lot of time with this guy again recently and I think i do fancy him in a way - despite myself. I probably do think about perception based on all the comments i hear about how other women (my own friends included) talk down shorter men. doesn't help. even my own mother is quite pass-remarkable about shorter men - not helpful!!

but I guess at the end of the day, it shouldn't matter. i do like the guy and am probably more inclined as time goes on, to think of him more as a potential partner (we get on extremely well, btw) and i should just get over the fact of life that he is a "short-ass" cos' he's a dote and is v attractive in many ways.

Victor

height issues wrote: »

are you him???

Hi, I've tidied up you post somewhat, but there are some words I can't make out properly. Lets us know.

legend365

slaps?yes?! wrote: »

i'm not looking for mr 6ft 4

...awww... ok




Your preferences are yours. No one else can tell you what you like.

cafecolour

Everyone had their physical ideal, there's no need to apologize for it.

But as you've discovered, a good personality and chemistry can easily turn a 5 into to a 10.

So sure give him a go, especially if it's mostly other people's perceptions. If your friends make comments, you can just smile say "Don't worry, he certainly makes up for it." with a wink, and that's all that needs to be said.

Monkey61

Everyone has physical preferences and that is nothing to be ashamed about. But I have found that if you really like someone then you really can let a lot of them go.

I always had this thing where I didn't like the idea of being with a girl that was taller than me. I thought everything would feel wrong, standing beside her, putting an arm around her etc. I loved very small girls. I was used to being a certain amount taller etc and liked that.

I have just started going out with a girl that is about 5/6 inches taller then me...and do you know what? I absolutely love it. She is the most stunning girl I have ever seen, I fancy her like mad and I actually like her height, because it is just another unique thing about her that makes her different to anyone else I have been with.

Before I met her, I never would have thought it possible.