to breakup or not to breakup?!

LegacyUser

gonna try to keep this short...
i'm in a long distance relationship since september (been going out a year), he's abroad until july and i'm working here. Keeping the relationship going is tough work...i'm beginning to think it's more of a burden than a relationship...we speak very little this is mainly due to his financial situation (he's skint) so he barely has enough money for credit and he has no internet in his house so we cant talk at evening times either (i have wok during the day)...i've shown nothing but patience about this, there's nothing he can do...

recently though he has just been very selfish and i'm not sure where to draw the line, he is going on a weekend trip with a group of his friends...i was having a short phone call to him today and was asking him if he was looking forward to it, etc. he asked me 'not to ring him while he was on the trip' because he would be 'partying all the time' and wouldn't want to leave the group to take a phonecall from me (it would only be 2mins anyway, it's 80c/min!!)
i couldnt believe what he asked, i was so stunned i just hung up.
i know he loves me and i love him but surely it's not ok to treat someone like this?
he barely txts me and never calls, he's a constant disappointment with regards remembering anniversaries....
when i returned home from work i had gotten a letter he sent telling me how much he loves me and how much he cant wait to spend next year with me
i'm torn in two here....do i stay with him and continue being treated badly or split up with him and never know how next year could have worked out?????

and yes i have spoken to him about this but he honestly cant see what he's doing wrong.
we have sort of always been longdistance and next year we would be going to college in the same town and seeing each other regularly.

advice anyone please?

Darlughda

You don't say what age the both of you are, but it sounds like you are both quite young. If you have plans to be in the same town together going to the same college chances are things will work themselves out.

Maybe he is sowing a few wild oats while he is away, but that may not be the worst thing if he gets it out of his system and you two have a future together.

Nonetheless, if you feel unhappy with his casualness at the moment, say so. After all, when you know you will be in each other's company in the future there is no harm in letting go for now. Much better he goes with other women, if indeed that is what he up to, than doing it in a small town and in the same college.

If you back off now, he may come running back to you, otherwise it could force a situation where ultimatums are issued and they never end well.

LegacyUser

Hiya OP,

I have really only one item of advice for you, install a program called voipstunt on your computer-this way you can call house phones for free. I know that when I was in long distance with my boyfriend this was a life saver. I have been through all this and it was so tough at time-we went through bad patches of never ringing each other and when we did all we did was argue. But I wouldn't act too hastily, try and have a long conversation with him-not via text or email and explain that you feel like he's not putting in the effort. At the end of the day you are going to be home in July so its not like this LDR is permanent.

Good luck xx

greenprincess

Maybe take a break from yer relationship until he is back? Ye will both be free to do what you want then and u can decide if this relationship is really what you want