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So, Postbank are closing...

McChubbin · 2010-05-11 02:23:45

...And I've got 'til September to move the princely sum of €70 to a more secure location before it gets trapped forever in the limbo of "closed accounts". So, fellow Boardsies, any suggestions? The Caymen Islands is a bit of a cliche at this point and I don't fancy ripping my matress apart. :pac:

11-05-2010 2:23am

#1

McChubbin

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...And I've got 'til September to move the princely sum of €70 to a more secure location before it gets trapped forever in the limbo of "closed accounts".

So, fellow Boardsies, any suggestions? The Caymen Islands is a bit of a cliche at this point and I don't fancy ripping my matress apart. :pac:

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#2 11-05-2010 2:27am

artanevilla

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DEAR SIR,

URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

I AM MARIAM ABACHA, WIDOW OF THE LATE NIGERIAN HEAD OF STATE, GEN. SANI ABACHA. AFTER HE DEATH OF MY HUSBAND WHO DIED MYSTERIOUSLY AS A RESULT OF CARDIAC ARREST, I WAS INFORMED BY OUR LAWYER, BELLO GAMBARI THAT, MY HUSBAND WHO AT THAT TIME WAS THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA, CALLED HIM AND CONDUCTED HIM ROUND HIS APARTMENT AND SHOWED HIM FOUR METAL BOXES CONTAINING MONEY ALL IN FOREIGN EXCHANGE AND HE EQUALLY MADE HIM BELIEVE THAT THOSE BOXES ARE FOR ONWARD TRANSFER TO HIS OVERSEAS COUNTERPART FOR PERSONAL INVESTMENT.

ALONG THE LINE, MY HUSBAND DIED AND SINCE THEN THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN AFTER US, MOLESTING, POLICING AND FREEZING OUR BANK ACCOUNTS AND EVEN MY ELDEST SON RIGHT NOW IS IN DETENTION. MY FAMILY ACCOUNT IN SWITZERLAND WORTH US$22,000,000.00 AND 120,000,000.00 DUTCH MARK HAS BEEN CONFISCATED BY THE GOVERNMENT. THE GOVERNMENT IS INTERROGATING HIM (MY SON MOHAMMED) ABOUT OUR ASSET AND SOME VITAL DOCUMENTS. IT WAS IN THE COURSE OF THESE, AFTER THE BURIAL RITE AND CUSTOMS, THAT OUR LAWYER SAW YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS FROM THE PUBLICATION OF THE NIGERIAN BUSINESS PROMOTION AGENCY. THIS IS WHY I AM USING THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SOLICIT FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION AND ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME AS A VERY SINCERE RESPONSIBLE PERSON. I HAVE ALL THE TRUST IN YOU AND I KNOW THAT YOU WILL NOT SIT ON THIS MONEY.

I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN CARRYING THE FOUR METAL BOXES OUT OF THE COUNTRY, WITH THE AID OF SOME TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL, WHO STILL SHOW SYMPATHY TO MY FAMILY, TO A NEIGHBOURING COUNTRY (ACCRA-GHANA) TO BE PRECISE. I PRAY YOU WOULD HELP US IN GETTING THIS MONEY TRANSFERRED OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY. EACH OF THESE METAL BOXES CONTAINS US$5,000,000.00 (FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) AND TOGETHER THESE FOUR BOXES CONTAIN US20,000,000.00(TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATESDOLLARS ONLY). THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT WE HAVE MOVED TO GHANA.

THEREFORE, I NEED AN URGENT HELP FROM YOU AS A MAN OF GOD TO HELP GET THIS MONEY IN ACCRA GHANA TO YOUR COUNTRY. THIS MONEY, AFTER GETTING TO YOUR COUNTRY, WOULD BE SHARED ACCORDING TO THE PERCENTAGE AGREED BY BOTH OF US.PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS MATTER IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL AS THE GOVERNMENT WHICH MY LATE HUSBAND WAS PART OF IS STILL UNDER SURVAILLANCE TO PROBE US.

YOU CAN CONTACT ME THROUGH MY FAMILY LAWYER AS INDICATED ABOVE AND ALSO TO LIAISE WITH HIM TOWARDS THE EFFECTIVE COMPLETION OF THIS TRANSACTION ON TEL/FAX N0:xxx-x-xxxxxxx AS HE HAS THE MANDATE OF THE FAMILY TO HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION.

THANKS AND BEST REGARD

MRS. MARIAM ABACHA

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#3 11-05-2010 2:31am

Mike 1972

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artanevilla wrote: »

120,000,000.00 DUTCH MARK

Eh ?

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#4 11-05-2010 2:41am

McChubbin

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I'm befuddled too...

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#5 11-05-2010 2:42am

Doop

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They just dont seem to put the effort in the ones i get anymore..

An Iraqi made a fixed deposit of $12.5m usd in my bank branch (Hang Seng Bank,Hong Kong) where am a director ( Patrick Chan) and he died with his entire family in the war leaving behind no next of kin, I'm ready to share 60/40 with you if you choose to stand as my deceased client next of kin. If interested mail me.Email Contact: pchan05@hotmail.com

Ignoring that... OP Prize Bonds FTW! wtf... biggest sham ever... really should cash those bad boys in! (years an yrs of xmas presents from a certain someone)

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#6 11-05-2010 2:47am

McChubbin

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Doop wrote: »

They just dont seem to put the effort in the ones i get anymore..

An Iraqi made a fixed deposit of $12.5m usd in my bank branch (Hang Seng Bank,Hong Kong) where am a director ( Patrick Chan) and he died with his entire family in the war leaving behind no next of kin, I'm ready to share 60/40 with you if you choose to stand as my deceased client next of kin. If interested mail me.Email Contact: pchan05@hotmail.com

Ignoring that... OP Prize Bonds FTW! wtf... biggest sham ever... really should cash those bad boys in! (years an yrs of xmas presents from a certain someone)

color me intrigued. Tell me more of these so called Prize Bonds. *conspiring chin stroke*

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#7 11-05-2010 3:14am

Doop

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McChubbin wrote: »

color me intrigued. Tell me more of these so called Prize Bonds. *conspiring chin stroke*

http://www.prizebonds.ie/index.asp

Its the next big thing my friend... been waiting 26yrs now for my big windfall
:cool:

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#8 11-05-2010 3:39am

artanevilla

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Doop wrote: »

http://www.prizebonds.ie/index.asp

Its the next big thing my friend... been waiting 26yrs now for my big windfall
:cool:

I've won twice on them bad boys.

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#9 11-05-2010 3:40am

McChubbin

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artanevilla wrote: »

I've won twice on them bad boys.

Tempting as that sounds, it does seem to reek of "scam" to me.
Prehaps I'd be best investing my money in a three tiered scheme of some sort.

I heard pyramids are lucky shape...

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#10 11-05-2010 8:02am

gollem_1975

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McChubbin wrote: »

...And I've got 'til September to move the princely sum of €70 to a more secure location before it gets trapped forever in the limbo of "closed accounts".

So, fellow Boardsies, any suggestions? The Caymen Islands is a bit of a cliche at this point and I don't fancy ripping my matress apart. :pac:

Rabobank - bargain alerts ?

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#11 11-05-2010 8:03am

abouttobebanned

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Pay off your littlewoods account. Everyone has one of those bad boys staring at them.

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#12 11-05-2010 8:06am

Cookie_Monster

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invest in national solidarity bonds

you'll clearly get lots of money back as the Irish state will never default, and you'll have that happy felling knowing your helping even more to pay all those over inflated wage bills :rolleyes:

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#13 11-05-2010 9:00am

stovelid

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Standard what will I do with my ____ voucher for the sum of ____ thread albeit with a recession skin.

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#14 11-05-2010 9:00am

bonerm

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artanevilla wrote: »

120,000,000.00 DUTCH MARK

He's not even worth a 1/10th of that.

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#15 11-05-2010 9:16am

star.chaser

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McChubbin wrote: »

...And I've got 'til September to move the princely sum of €70 to a more secure location before it gets trapped forever in the limbo of "closed accounts".

So, fellow Boardsies, any suggestions? The Caymen Islands is a bit of a cliche at this point and I don't fancy ripping my matress apart. :pac:

spend it on a lady of the night

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#16 11-05-2010 9:45am

gollem_1975

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get down to Whelan and Dealin

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#17 11-05-2010 5:45pm

McChubbin

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star.chaser wrote: »

spend it on a lady of the night

As tempting as that suggestion may be, I have no desire to unleash my inner lesbian any time soon. Currently, I'm debating spliting the money halfways between the Credit Union and paying off a Nintendo Wii.

Then again, that pair of thigh-high canvas tops on eBay are delighfully tempting...

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