Mistake with friend I think or mabe not

LegacyUser

A friend an I have feelings for each other. We went to a friends christening and things went well until well she got very very very drunk and well became an a class typical abusive/emotional drunk. She can drink allot and ok younger group do drink heavily these days i did at her age and its a little scary two. (history of alcoholism in my close family)

The next day we agreed she was an ass and needed to do something about her drinking and sort herself out emotionally. Nothing was ever mentioned about the kiss before she got really hammered. (she claimed no memory of anything) She has done nothing since to change any of the above or at least said nothing to me about it.

Since then I have been treating things like nothing literally nothing happened. I don't think she is ready for a relationship anyway.

We talk quite allot ring each other on the phone... Spend time together everything a friend or a couple would do. We are very different people and we tend to both go through moments where we rub each other up the wrong way which is fine as friends as a little time apart and problems gone and forgotten.

There is also the issue of here being younger and still in her wild years and me being a little older and calming down. What scares me as it would either be a good relationship or an absolute disaster my gut says disaster or maybe that's not doing the thinking for me. Right now another car crash of a relationship is not what i want. I dont want to hurt friends.

I don't know at what point is it worth risking a friendship, am i mad, should i do something or decide never to do something.

m@cc@

OOPSIE wrote: »

Nothing was ever mentioned about the kiss before she got really hammered. (she claimed no memory of anything) She has done nothing since to change any of the above or at least said nothing to me about it.

This is surely all you need to know. If she is as unstable as you imply, the best thing you can do for her is be a friend and try to get her back on road. Then, maybe in the future you could look at things again but it's impossible for either of yous to know how you feel when she is behaving like this.

Furthermore, if you are already going through periods as friends where you need to be apart from each other, that doesn't sound good.

JonathanAnon

m@cc@ wrote: »

.etc etc...Furthermore, if you are already going through periods as friends where you need to be apart from each other, that doesn't sound good....etc etc

that's pretty good advice to be honest. Its a bad sign that she wont acknowledge that she kissed you. Or maybe she is waiting for you to say something about the subject?? (If it was me I would bring up the subject directly and ask her about it)

I'm curious as to why you would say that ye have feelings "for each other". It's obvious you have feelings for her by the mere fact that you have posted here, but how do you know she has feelings for you?

m@cc@

OOPSIE wrote: »

I don't know at what point is it worth risking a friendship, am i mad, should i do something or decide never to do something.

I don't know what it is about your post that's making me say this, but make sure you're getting as much out of the friendship as she is. Is she making herself as available to you as you are to her? I've seen the kind of girl you've described before and I see so much uncertainty in your friendship, nevermind a relationship.

Unfortunately behaving as a couple doesn't mean a thing. It can be a fine line between that and a relationship or it can be a chasm, it depends on the individuals opinions and perspectives.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice.

I guess I just needed to hear what I already knew. Its just a bad idea and ill end up loosing a friendship for a bad relationship when what she needs is a friend not a relationship.

Thanks