What is wrong with me?

Goldenlady

Ok, this the story, with my BF over 5 years, love him very very much. Broke up twice, sorted things out and got back together.
At one stage when we broke up I was with a guy from my past, spent a couple of weeks with him and got back with my current BF. Have kept in contact with the guy from past, but have hidden it from BF. Broke up with BF for about 4 weeks at start of year, got in contact with guy from past. Met up, had a kiss, realised felt nothing for him and back with current BF. Still in contact with guy from past, but only just as friends. Plus last night on facebook another ex was messaging me, am I just looking for a bit of attention (BF lives in other county so only see at wk ends!)
Love my BF to bits, he is everything I want, and am so happy when with him. Could go for weeks without being in contact with guy from past or anyone, then I get a mad fad to do it again...........
Is there something wrong with me?

helimachoptor

Maybe you're just bored not seeing the boyfriend and craving the attention, it's natural but why do you keep going running back to one particular ex when you break up with the current boyfriend...

A blunt question but have you ever cheated on the current boyfriend, if the answer is a yes maybe it's time to evaluate the relationship. If the answer is a no then ask yourself what do you get out of all this flirting, is your current boyfriend not giving you the attention you want. You know you can flirt with him on facebook too

Goldenlady

Thank u for the reply, I've never ever cheated on him, only wit the other guy when we were on a break. Not sure why I keep going back there, nice guy but not my type, maybe just a security blanket, not sure really. I know I am a flirt and I like attention, I suppose I just wonder if this is ok or not. Would never cheat on my bf in a million years, think it's just boredom sometimes!

TheDieHardFan1

Love my BF to bits, he is everything I want, and am so happy when with him. Could go for weeks without being in contact with guy from past or anyone, then I get a mad fad to do it again...........
Is there something wrong with me?

You have settled for a Real-Hate-ship with your BF.
He's a chump. He's always going to be there for you and he's always going to give into you no matter what you do. He's probably needy and bawls his eyes out. He probably begs for your approval and sympathy.
He's probably uptight and rubbish at sex.

The other guy keeps his distance, you fancy him and think about him all the time and he is probably a great lover. He probably has loads of girls on the go at the same time and all of them are just like you.

Just when you think you love your BF and both of you are thinking about marriage and kids and what kind of sitting room furniture you want, all the other guy has to do is wink at you and you melt like butter.

The truth is you don't really want either of these men.

You want a REAL man. A man who can love you, give you great sex but who is his own man. He doesn't hang out of you like a child, is not insecure or needy but you can depend on him.

You should dump your BF. He won't commit suicide. He might just grow up and stop being a little boy.

Stop seeing your bit on the side too. He won't miss you because he will be in bed with someone else in five minutes.

You should not be desperate for a man and play harder to get.

That way you will filter out the chumps and stop giving your power away to jack the lads who threat you badly.

Instead you will meet a MF (a man friend) with a real pair of balls which is what you really want.

rediguana25

TheDieHardFan1 is right about the ex- forget about him.
You are looking for attention because you're not fully happy with your situation...not sure if it's because your BF lives in a different county but probably it's because he's just not the right one for you.
I know you don't want to hear it but seriously if you're thinking about the ex or anyone else when you're with someone you are not fully with that person...you're looking for something else...you're not satisfied....you might feel good when he's there with you but when he's not you're not thinking of him you're thinking of other people and the attention you can get from them.

You really need to look at yourself and you're self esteem. Ask yourself why are you looking for approval from outside sources...take a look within and really listen to the voice in your head- yeah that one that you push aside whenever you find yourself wanting to contact the ex...believe me...I know about that voice..it doesn't go away it just gets louder until you act on it...I think deep down you really know what you want but maybe are too scared to act on it - like so many people...I listened and acted on what that little voice was telling me...and after finishing an 8 yr relationship have discovered there is a world of opportunities out there where you don't need to seek approval - you just have to start by loving yourself...all else will fall into place...eventually!!
Best of luck...

Eve_Dublin

TheDieHardFan1 wrote: »

You have settled for a Real-Hate-ship with your BF.
He's a chump. He's always going to be there for you and he's always going to give into you no matter what you do. He's probably needy and bawls his eyes out. He probably begs for your approval and sympathy.
He's probably uptight and rubbish at sex.

The other guy keeps his distance, you fancy him and think about him all the time and he is probably a great lover. He probably has loads of girls on the go at the same time and all of them are just like you.

Just when you think you love your BF and both of you are thinking about marriage and kids and what kind of sitting room furniture you want, all the other guy has to do is wink at you and you melt like butter.

The truth is you don't really want either of these men.

You want a REAL man. A man who can love you, give you great sex but who is his own man. He doesn't hang out of you like a child, is not insecure or needy but you can depend on him.

You should dump your BF. He won't commit suicide. He might just grow up and stop being a little boy.

Stop seeing your bit on the side too. He won't miss you because he will be in bed with someone else in five minutes.

You should not be desperate for a man and play harder to get.

That way you will filter out the chumps and stop giving your power away to jack the lads who threat you badly.

Instead you will meet a MF (a man friend) with a real pair of balls which is what you really want.

Ehhh...is anyone thinking what I´m thinking? How did you deduce all that from the original post??? A hell of a lot of assumptions made based on very little. Are you projecting your own personal experience on the OP because all relationships are different...you can´t apply the same rules to everyone.

OP don´t break up with this guy if he´s perfect for you. You´re getting attention from an ex because you´re getting very little now...people do that but it´s not very fair. You should stop it if you have any respect for your current boyfriend and don´t take for granted what you have. No problem having a little harmless flirting with the opposite sex but NOT with an ex. Totally unfair on your OH...think how he would feel. Don´t blow what you have....relationships like what you have are not easy to come by.

TitoPuente

Just stop seeing all of these men until you've decided what you want. If your 'boyfriend' thinks it's an exclusive relationship and all the while you're being tempted by other men then I would suggest you make the decision to be single again.