Confidentiality?

SarahMs

Ok....... bit of a rant but I want to see other ladies views on this......

I have had a few health issues and in the middle of a break /WHAT THE FCUK is going on up!

I have missed a few days in the place that I volunteer because of it all, but I always make sure I tell the manager etc.... then... she ends up telling everyone else and asking me about these personal things in front of other people,I told her in what I thought was confidence that I had lost a baby... then 2 weeks later when we were all at lunch, in front of everyone she says 'so how far gone were you when you lost the baby?' EH HELLO I HAVE ONLY JUST MET SOME OF THESE PEOPLE. at the end of the day, I am telling her the truth because I think its only fair and I don't like to lie, and I know I never say 'don't tell anyone' etc but I thought us girls had a code? like you know when things should be kept private etc. Its like she tells people so they can feel sorry for me or something I don't know, like I got texts from 2 people this week are things ok etc? and Im like I volunteer with you for 4 hours a week, if it wasn't for that we would never talk....... just pisses me off to the point when I don't want to be honest with her. She is a fully grown woman, good career and is well known in the sport.

She will be meeting my parents soon and I really don't want her talking about my personal life like she knows everything.
I don't know... I don't wanna offend her by being all 'shut the f up b*tch' but seriously...........

jenny4385

where i work we have to do a back to work interview... usually happens in a room with other people.... want to know what was wrong wth ya. did ya go to the doc, if you didnt why not... hate them so trying not to be off sick.. its just not worth the effort.. i mean whatever happened to people s privacy and not wanting their personal details broadcast

Walls

Feel free to say to her you'd like it kept confidential, please. It's rather amazing she hasn't had that occur to her already.

rebel girl 15

Walls wrote: »

Feel free to say to her you'd like it kept confidential, please. It's rather amazing she hasn't had that occur to her already.

+ 1 on that one! Some people just have to have things pointed out to them, even though it should be obvious to the rest of us!

lil'bug

jenny4385 wrote: »

where i work we have to do a back to work interview... usually happens in a room with other people.... want to know what was wrong wth ya. did ya go to the doc, if you didnt why not... hate them so trying not to be off sick.. its just not worth the effort.. i mean whatever happened to people s privacy and not wanting their personal details broadcast

sounds like where i work do you work for B&Q???

OP it sounds like this lady doesn't really care what she says about you, its terrible that she took something deeply personal and turned it into lunch time chit chat

Pyr0

In most companies these days they don't give a sh!t what happened to you or how private a situation is to you. It's all about the company and making money, nothing else.

I agree with another poster, some people are also idiots when it comes to other peoples privacy and need to be spoon fed common sense and decency. I'd pull her aside and tell her whats what in a calm manner, she's already blabbed once, don't let her do it again.

SarahMs

SarahMs wrote: »

She will be meeting my parents soon and I really don't want her talking about my personal life like she knows everything.
I don't know... I don't wanna offend her by being all 'shut the f up b*tch' but seriously...........

You know what. I wouldn't give a damn about her feelings, she obviously hasn't given a seconds thought to yours!
Tell her outright it is entirely unacceptable and indecent to use your loss for small talk.

I'm so disgusted at this person! That she could behave like this.
I only hope she is on the austistc spectrum or somesuch.

Shivers26

First of all, I am really sorry for your loss.

Secondly, this woman must be seriously deficient in something. That to me would be obvious to keep quiet out of respect for the person who had confided in you.

I would just say to her to please keep things to herself. That was really bad form to just blab your private business at lunch, how dare she.

Novella

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Tbh, if that was me, I wouldn't be bothered that she was my boss, I would've taken her aside and said something to her. It was completely out of line for her to speak about your private life like that, especially something as big as losing your baby.

You need to make it clear to her that you were upset by the situation and you'd appreciate it if she could keep the things you tell her in confidence to herself in future.

SarahMs

she is the type of person that everyone loves and they all lick her arse etc.... do i risk becoming the one she doesn't like? there for they wouldn't like me. the last time someone stood up to her, she decided that 'numbers were too big' and the person wasn't allowed to go on a certain trip, said person ended up leavning.

also if I lose my position there, or at least some of my responsibilities, it will have an effect on my work exp, and career etc.


catch 22.

twowheelsonly

jenny4385 wrote: »

where i work we have to do a back to work interview... usually happens in a room with other people.... want to know what was wrong wth ya. did ya go to the doc, if you didnt why not... hate them so trying not to be off sick.. its just not worth the effort.. i mean whatever happened to people s privacy and not wanting their personal details broadcast

:eek:
If you're out sick and submit a Doctors cert then there's no way that they can do this.
Refuse point blank to answer any specific questions regarding your medical condition/s and tell them (specifically their Medical Offficer) to address any concerns to your Doctor. Your Doctor says that you're not fit to work and decides when you are fit to work. That's all they need to know and indeed is all that they're entitled to know.
You'd want to get all your workmates onside with this as well - the Company are obviously using this as a control mechanism and it's a form of bullying.

MJOR

If you're worried about making a mistake and getting on her wrong side just pull her aside and say that you're pretty upset, it's not general knowlege and you aren't reallya ble to discuss it without getting really upset, that may get the message across without being confrontational.

hope you are ok xxxxxx

Daisies

So sorry for your loss SarahMs.

I cant believe that someone would have to be told to keep information like that confidential. It is very obviously a personal matter and no-one else's business. Id take her aside and say in the nicest way possible "I really would prefer if my personal matters were not mentioned to other staff" or something along that line

akamossy

SarahMs wrote: »

Ok....... bit of a rant but I want to see other ladies views on this......

at the end of the day, I am telling her the truth because I think its only fair and I don't like to lie, and I know I never say 'don't tell anyone' etc but I thought us girls had a code? like you know when things should be kept private etc. Its like she tells people so they can feel sorry for me or something I don't know, like I got texts from 2 people this week are things ok etc? and Im like I volunteer with you for 4 hours a week, if it wasn't for that we would never talk....... just pisses me off to the point when I don't want to be honest with her. She is a fully grown woman, good career and is well known in the sport.

I lost a baby myself 3 years ago when I was working part time and had to take quite a bit of time off, at the beginning I didn't wanna tell work so I told them something else but I ended up telling them and they were very good and it didn't get discussed in work between people thank god!

I think it was very bad form of this woman and I would definitely be having words with her if I was you. I think telling something that was told to you in confidence is unacceptable.

hope you're doing okay x

miss5

Sorry to hear about that aka mossy.

OP I'm so sorry for your loss, Losing a child is a hugely traumatic event
my cousin lost a baby this year and it has had a profund affect on her.
You shouldn't have to take them regardless of whether or not she is your boss.
It was really wrong of her.

Blue_Light

Had this exact same situation with someone that I used to work with. Would tell my boss something confidential and within a day, I'd have people that I'd work with texting me to see how things were, or did I need to talk or catch up...completely out of the blue. Would only happen if the news was 'juicy' enough. It was completely obvious my boss was telling everyone that I worked with.

Now I normally can't hold my tongue if someone is being that disrespectful, but the job I had was **** and the only good thing I was going to get out of it was a reference from this woman. So I just made sure that the next thing that she told me about herself got the exact same treatment and she learned her lesson pretty fast!