relationship ended

LegacyUser

Don't know what to do or say, had words with my girlfriend yesterday and called her a name that I am really ashamed to repeat. She left the house without saying anything and has returned to her parents house I think. I really love this girl but I have financial problems etc that I don't want to be worry her about as they are mine but it has been getting to me lately. She has problems of her own which I support her with and hoped that it would be all good soon but felt that my problems were best kept from her as I did not want to burden her with them. Now I have spent last night on my own and woke up this morning to an empty house and she is no more. I feel so devastated and lonely that I messed up the one good thing in my life and have lost it for ever. I know I have shattered her heart but lately she is convinced I am seeing someone else but I am not and this was getting to me as well. I would and did anything for her to make her happy but I have destroyed it now. I soo want her back but she wont answer my text's or phone calls, I dont know what to do now, this is going to push me over the edge now with this house and bills etc and now she is gone. My family don't talk to me anymore over things that happened along time ago and I don't know what to do. How do I get her back if I can and if I can where do I go

newtoboards

Tell her the truth. Everything. If you can't say it then write it in a letter, she should know so she can make an informed decision. On your financial issues you should contact MABS to ask for support and advice. Contact all people/financial institutions you are in debt with and try to agree to a repayment schedule you can manage.

Taltos

newtoboards wrote: »

Tell her the truth. Everything. If you can't say it then write it in a letter, she should know so she can make an informed decision. On your financial issues you should contact MABS to ask for support and advice. Contact all people/financial institutions you are in debt with and try to agree to a repayment schedule you can manage.

Agree with some of this.
But - be prepared - you may not "win" her back. Chances are you have blown it. Might I suggest you talk to a professional though - you need to find out why you keep pushing people away - first your family now this woman?

This might involve a radical shift in how you think about things - or try to control things (or people) - hiding information that is critical to you is not a good sign to a healthy relationship - no matter what you might tell yourself about your intentions.

Chances are she is gone - but try to work on yourself so you don't blow it again next time.

LegacyUser

i know thats what has happened as she wont talk to me by text or phone, she rang me crying last night but hung up and would not answer my calls back. She is the salt of the earth and the best person I have ever met and would do anything for her to keep her safe and would ley no opne hurt her, but I have and now its all up in the air and dont know how its going to land

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

First off, get in contact with MABS and work out a financial plan to take some of the stress off. Then I think you should invest in a good counsellor and start working through your issues. Falling out with family, falling out with gf, calling people you love names out if inability to deal with situations not of their making? I think you need to get to the bottom of why these things have happened.

Write to your gf, tell her everything and tell her you are getting help, apologise and let her know you would love for her to contact you and then leave things there, whether she chooses to forgive and forget is up to her but you can certainly try to turn this into a positive by using it to motivate you to get help so it doesn't happen again.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

I knew you would post something here so that i would see it.

What the "OP" hasn't mentioned in his post is that he is married to a woman with whom he has 3 children and also has another child with a girl he had an affair with.

He's always claimed to "not really remember" his childrens ages but last week i finally established that the child born out of the affair was conceived when his wife was about to give birth.

We have been together for the last 6 months but he still refuses to separate from his wife and last week i found a message where he had told an old friend that he "misses his wife and wants to meet up to clear the air" but she won't entertain him. Fair enough, I might have gotten the wrong end of the stick but I still felt i had a right to know he was trying to meet his wife. More of a right than this old flame he was messaging.

In the past he has said "I hate my wife, she is a c*unt and I hope she dies of aids"

he constantly says he wishes his son born through the affair was dead and he calls his mother a c*unt too

Yesterday I had my first taste of being called that word and it was the last straw.

I called you last night in tears after you sent me a text message implying you were about to kill yourself and then didn't answer my text or my calls - when you did answer the phone you asked me to leave you alone. Which is what i am trying to do.

The Recliner

Boards is not the place to trash out your issues

You guys need to talk face to face

I am locking this thread