Just sick of it all.

cooltown

Hi! I have posted here before and have got good advice. I am a young guy. I am nearly 18. I am just getting really sick of my life and I just can't take it. I am stuck in a rut. I am just sick of everything in my life I just can't srand being gay. I am being bullied at school and I reported it and I was told that I needed a witnes to back me up so that was pointless. It's still happening and I hate everything about me. I am getting sick of being called name such as fag and bum boy,etc. I only had a few friends and I'm after isolating myself from them. They were also started to mock me over it. I gave up contacting them a few months ago. I spend most of my time outside of school at home. I just come home from school and go online and eat.
My parents would never accept me being gay and they wouldn't understand it. I look in the mirror and wonder why was I born. I can never see myself having a happy life. I have nothing to live for there's nothing in my life. I really hate who I am over being gay. I often spend hours lying awake in bed at night just thinking about being gay. I hate everything about me. I can't understand why I have to be this way.
Any advice?

Dwn Wth Vwls

Are you in Dublin? Have you considered going to BeLonGTo? They're there to support you...

ixoy

I'd second that - talk to a group like BelonGTo. You're not alone in this and these groups will be there to help you, just like they've helped people in similar situations over their years.

Secondary school can be tough and people there can be right little sh*ts. The good news is many grow out of it - don't mistake their current attitudes as being the attitudes of everyone, or even the ones they'll always hold. Many people here can attest to that.

And remember there's nothing wrong with being gay. Early on in your life it can be tough, sure, but you shouldn't think that there's something wrong with you, or a mistake has been made no more than you would think that if you were red-haired or left-handed.

esposito

Try be strong man, secondary school is coming to an end and college is just around the corner. You will be much happier there and you will meet some gay guys like yourself there.

spurious

Your school's response is a disgrace.

I would be very surprised if their anti-bullying policy had a rider saying 'only if witnessed'.
They have a duty of care to you whether incidents are witnessed or not. Could you speak to any teacher there?

Dr. Baltar

First of all you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Let others do that for you.
You need to get angry, and I mean real fúcking angry. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that this is it! No more! "I deserve better than this".

You give Belongto a call.
You talk to your principal AGAIN. You TELL him you deserve better.
And if you're ready, you talk to your parents and you TELL them you deserve better and you DESERVE their support.

You need to stop the sadness and the feelings of sorrow and you need to stand up for yourself and say I am a human being and I DESERVE to be happy. :mad:

phic

The fact that stuff like this is still going on in schools sickens me.
Well done for having the courage to report the bullying, don't let the school ignore you. Keep at it until they do something about it.

More importantly though, stop beating yourself up about being gay. First of all, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Second of all, being gay is only one aspect of what makes you you. You are a unique and amazing individual, and it really doesn't matter who you like to sleep with. Concentrate on all the other aspects of yourself that you do like. If you look you will find them. Learn to love and respect yourself, and you'll find that those around you will too.

Conceited Cat

Hang in there cooltown.
I can't offer a lot of advice as I'm just coming out myself but I hope I can extend some support. Firstly, you and me and everyone else are all unique and valid people. Like ioxy said, a certain percentage of us are gay or straight or left-handed or tall or brown-eyed or what ever. We're all unique creations of a genetic gamble. Please, don't say you hate being gay. That's like saying you hate being brown-eyed. It's part of the wonderful life you've been given and you should live it to its fullest.
I wish I came out years ago. Trust me, you don't want to waste years of your life hating yourself only to realise you should have been enjoying who you are.
As for your school situation, it is sickening. Try to take solace in the fact that the little sh*ts (as ioxy put them) probably don't even understand what they're jeering you for. If the thing was to jeer left-handed people or whoever else they would go along with it. They will grow out of it when (or if) they mature.
As phic said, your unique sexuality is only a small aspect of who you are. But it's a really cool, exciting part of who you are that is there to be enjoyed. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

Annasopra

I do think that ringing a helpline would help you - there's a list at www.lgbt.ie

Another thing is that the people bullying you don't fully understand themselves. In 10 years time you will probably bump into one of them in a gay bar

Sir Ophiuchus

Please call someone and talk to them: Gay Switchboard Dublin is 01 872 1055. You sound very down, and that's the sort of thing that can get and keep someone in a spiral. It's good you've posted here looking for advice. Next step is to talk to someone real - confidentially and anonymously, if you want - who can help you get some perspective and start working on this.

vampire of kilmainham

You should definetley call belong to i dont know the number but you will find it online. Rember there is nothing wrong with being Gay take no notice of the guys at school or your friends slagging you there not real friends anyway if they treat you like this have you ever heard the saying those who shout the loudest have the most to hide well you can be sure that some of those slagging you are Gay too your school dident back you up very well you should go back to your princibal and demand to be heard you dont need a witness. I guess you will be fineshed school this year as you are 18 and you will find life totally different in collage if you are pursuing your career there dont lock yourself in you must face the world hold you head high you are a good person and there is nothing wrong with you. Hope iv helped and i hope all goes well for you:):):)

Coeurdepirate

A lot of people mentioned BeLonGTo in Dublin, but if you're in Galway you could go to shOUT.

Heebie

Hang in there!

Things are tough now.. but they DO get better!