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tail end of a relationship - how to cut the cord?

  • 01-05-2010 10:50am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My relationship of two and half years is going nowhere, and I've known for ages (like, months) that I should end it for good. I find now that even though he's a sweet guy and always been there for me, he shows no sign of EVER being "settling down" material. He smokes weed all day, is obsessesed with online gaming, no job, no desire to get a job. He's stayed the same in the last few years (we've been friends for 3 years) whereas I've changed. I've qualified as a doctor. I want to travel whereas he has no money.
    So I've said all this to him but I get no reaction. I've said that it's time he pulled his socks up but at this stage I just have to accept that he isn't going to. I've said I want to end it, and he made it clear that he is happy with me and doesn't want things to change. He says im being shallow wanting him to have a job.
    So I've basically ended it about 2 weeks ago but really it hasn't ended at all. We've known eachother for so long its like we're friends and when he rings me I find it hard to just not answer. Then we live in a small town and just keep ending up together and so I know he's not taking our break up seriously. We know the same people. It's not like I don't still love him in one way, we're so comfortable with eachother, but I know in my heart I have to end it. How do I finally cut the cord? Any advice appreciated!


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    unregistered wrote: »
    he rings me I find it hard to just not answer.

    just keep ending up together and so I know

    he's not taking our break up seriously. We know the same people
    The guys a looser you did right to dump him.

    I think you are being extremely hypocritical.
    -Moaning about him not changing, yet you won't change when it comes to your relationship with him.
    - Saying he doesn't take the breakup seriously, when you are still answering his calls and sleeping with him

    It's very, very simple, stop answering his calls and sleeping with him.


  • #3
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    unregistered wrote: »
    He says im being shallow wanting him to have a job.

    Sounds like an immature, unrealistic person. With an attitude like that you're clearly not compatible.
    unregistered wrote: »
    So I've basically ended it about 2 weeks ago but really it hasn't ended at all. We've known eachother for so long its like we're friends and when he rings me I find it hard to just not answer. Then we live in a small town and just keep ending up together and so I know he's not taking our break up seriously.

    With all due respect, if you keep ending up with him then you aren't taking the break-up seriously either. You need to start being a grown up about this. He is no longer your boyfriend. If you are happy to remain friends with him then do, but don't be intimate with him. All you're doing there is making it harder on both of you. What is he supposed think..you tell him its over and then you end up with him again? Thats very unfair.
    unregistered wrote: »
    How do I finally cut the cord? Any advice appreciated!

    Stop answering the phone to him. Tell him you are happy to be friends but at the moment you need a break from him so you can both move on from the relationship. Avoid him for a while so you can get your head straight. It might be easier to just go with the flow here but you'll end up hurting both of you in the end.

    Best of luck.


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