My stab at answering these "unanswerable" questions

Neil3030

Got this email just now and so keen was I to procrastinate...

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

- He's a fictional character. You may also focus on his ability to speak English, albeit not perfectly, in spite of being raised in a jungle, presumably by animals. Further, if he DID have a beard, this rules out any possible romantic component to the story, as Jane would have passed on his alpha-primate-masculinity on the assumption that he was a scruffy, Guardian-reading lefty.


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

- It's a psychological concept known as Extinction Burst, which I recommend you look up on Wikipedia. Also, sometimes, it works.


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in the account to pay it?

- I presume such charges are retrospectively billed once funds eventually enter the account again.


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

- In case they hit their heads in turbulence and get knocked unconscious before setting a course on their target.


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

- Humans know the limits of our capabilities. If we could instantly reach out and "check" how many stars existed, with similar ease to that of touching a wall, we would.


Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

- I would assume the word evolved from some manner of onomatopoeic selection.


What is the speed of darkness?

- Darkness is a perceived state - it is merely a description of an absence of light. Therefore its speed (if it even has one) is subjective, and contingent on how fast an individual's perceptive faculties process information.


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

- Parents are biased to assume babies sleep soundly because adults spend more time observing human babies sleep than any other species or age group.


Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

- Presumably not. Able bodied people are more primed to walk longer distances in carparks, regardless of the event.


If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

- It depends on the measure used, but twice as cold as 0 celcius is half of 273.15 K (freezing point), which is 136.57 K. Converting this back, you get -136.58 C. This question is, however, massively relative to the temperature scale used when referring to "zero" temperature.


Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

- Single men have mortality rates that are 250% higher than married men. Single women have mortality rates that are 50% higher than married women (Ross et al, 1990). Married people live longer. This statistic is, however, likely to change, as society evolves and marriage becomes less common. There is every likelihood the current shorter lifespan of unmarried people is a function of certain types of people (possibly more prone to dying younger) not getting married.


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- The demand for luggage in the sixties was nowhere near (a) what it is today or (b) as important as the need to get one up on the Russians in the Cold War space race. Planting an American flag in the surface of the Moon serves as a much more salient gesture of national oneupsmanship than showing the Russians medical records on reduced back-trouble amongst America's travellers. Politics -> Research -> Products.


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

- To view these objects from a novel angle.

Mr. Incognito

And the world of AH cares why?

Neil3030

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

And the world of AH cares why?

Meeow.

Biggins

Neil3030 wrote: »

Meeow.

LOL

Woof!

Canis Lupus

Biggins wrote: »

LOL

Woof!

FUN!!!

MOOOO!

timmywex

Theres all my dreams ruined...

Neil3030

Biggins wrote: »

LOL

Woof!

Jimbo? Is that you?!

:pac:

Mr. Incognito

This thread is "QUACKers"

OP You're too cool for school.

Epic fail though

MarkR

*noise like a rabbit*

NothingMan

I reckon this is what happens when you ask these questions to a German.

phasers

This thread sucks!

bonerm

Did anyone else picture this guy when reading the answers in the OP?

JuliusCaesar

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


There used to be people called Porters, so that you never needed to move your bags/suitcases/trunks yourself.

Biggins

phasers wrote: »

This thread sucks!

Anteater?

MikeC101

I liked your responses OP.

I'd especially like to see them sent in reply when somebody in an office forwards those questions to everyone they can think of. For the fifth time.

phasers

Biggins wrote: »

Anteater?

Staying with the animal theme, I didn't know what noise they made!

monkeyfudge

What happens if you're traveling at the speed of light and turn your headlights on is a good one.

wireless101

monkeyfudge wrote: »

What happens if you're traveling at the speed of light and turn your headlights on is a good one.

The Theory of Relativity happens.

:rolleyes: