I've been dumped...and I need to laugh..Help AH!!

Freyja

OK, so the guy I was meant to grow old and have a family with has left. I'm sick of crying and i swore that tonight I would not cry.

So I'm asking for some advice as to how I move on.................and the funnier the better.

minidazzler

Want some sex to forget about him?

we'llallhavetea_old

look at your face in the mirror.. swollen snotty red face is always funny to look at

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

OP, mindazzler is a crossdresser. If you don't laugh at that then there's no hope

Keep your chin up though. Plenty more men out there.

Tail Wagger

Well I'm 103 years old and not two bad looking, still have me first set of dentures. I fart a bit and dribble a lot and I'm looking for a young one about 75 to look after me, am I getting any smiles yet?

alwaysadub

Sleep with his brother.
You'll get some sex-he'll get pissed off.

SugarHigh

Why did he dump you?

If were expected to make you laugh, you might as well give us one first.

scudzilla

we need a pic of you first OP, gotta see what we're dealin with here

ilovebiology

Go out and get the box set of Father Ted, it should give you a few laughs, and cheer you up! Or Friends or some other dvds that you like
I hope you feel better soon, you will get through it

we'llallhavetea_old

actually op, read this thread. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=56964355

if that doesn't make you laugh i don't know what will.

Pompey Magnus

Freyja wrote: »

OK, so the guy I was meant to grow old and have a family with has left. I'm sick of crying and i swore that tonight I would not cry.

So I'm asking for some advice as to how I move on.................and the funnier the better.

Go lesbian...it was hilarious in Friends.

starbelgrade

I find that it's much better to be dumped than to be dumped on. Though, both of them can be sh*t, only one of them is literal. :pac:

minidazzler

starbelgrade wrote: »

I find that it's much better to be dumped than to be dumped on. Though, both of them can be sh*t, only one of them is literal. :pac:

I don't judge your sexual practices! :mad: How's missionary in the dark treating you PRUDE!!! :pac:

OI

First of all get a bottle of whiskey, then put on a bit of radiohead, you'll be right as rain in no time

stovelid

Definitely do one of his friends.

L.Jenkins

minidazzler wrote: »

Want some sex to forget about him?

I thought you were a woman. Obviously not, offering another female poster sex :P

lilblackdress

Poor you! But you will get over him and hopefully soon with AH to help out!! By the way... I agree with the looking in the mirror thing-the swollen red eyes and nose usually makes someone want to cheer up or will make you laugh!! Plenty more fish out there!!

Darlughda

jayzus it hurts like hell and sucks big time Freyja, maybe you'll just have to go through the mourning period. In the meantime.

• His music collection. What clangers were/are still in there that said utterly unsuitable with alarm bells?

• Does he ever sign his emails or texts with or similar shyte? (Actually that comes out as an emoticon here on boards, but I mean the semi-colon followed by a bracket thing if you know what I mean!) Its actually code for a person who is utterly inept at humour or any kind or writing skills.

Whats the thing he is most self satisfied about himself?
Which maybe secretly you thought was naff/offputting, yet you accepted and loved yadda yadda, well, now is the time to out it!!

starbelgrade

lilblackdress wrote: »

Poor you! But you will get over him and hopefully soon with AH to help out!! By the way... I agree with the looking in the mirror thing-the swollen red eyes and nose usually makes someone want to cheer up or will make you laugh!! Plenty more fish out there!!

Pollocks.

bonzodog2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8ZD4_FL0ms

bronte

Drink a lot of wine and dance around to Lady Gaga. Can't go wrong.

Make a list of all his **** qualities and stick it on your fridge.

(Works , believe me)

Go easy on yourself girl.

we'llallhavetea_old

this is also bound to crack a smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jAn3paZs1s

Gillington

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

actually op, read this thread. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=56964355

if that doesn't make you laugh i don't know what will.

Now I have to read the 18 pages of that thread!

Freyja

minidazzler wrote: »

Want some sex to forget about him?

The first official laugh of the night.........just hope that your not we'llallhavetea's friend Jimmy...which really made me laugh.

scudzilla: I know its pics or GTFO...but maybe a swollen snotty red face is always funny to look at, it does not transfer well in a picture.

alwaysadub: Sleep with his brother.
Would rather gouge my eyes out with a hot poker than sleep with that fat ignorant excuse for a human being.

Iamxavier OP, mindazzler is a crossdresser.
Maybe a change is on the cards??? God knows normal **** has not worked so far.

OI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9Iq6LA7sZI&feature=youtube_gdata

4zn76tysfajdxp

Freyja wrote: »

OK, so the guy I was meant to grow old and have a family with has left. I'm sick of crying and i swore that tonight I would not cry.

So I'm asking for some advice as to how I move on.................and the funnier the better.

*Derisive snort* Lucky escape. In my experience, I've found families to be stupid. Fuck his Dad or his brother or his best friend and show him how stupid families can be.

Freyja

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

this is also bound to crack a smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jAn3paZs1s

Did laugh...wish I could have envoked that stare when the news was delivered.......think I may call on the power of the stare the next time i run into the ex....

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Get some brake fluid and a sponge and rub it all over his car. After a week the paint will begin to peel off *

Either that or go skinny dipping with his parents





*SlasherMcGurk does not condone this action

Kiera

PM me his number. One can never have too many bf's

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Kiera wrote: »

PM me his number. One can never have too many bf's

I PM'd you mine, just to be obliging and all

Freyja

SugarHigh wrote: »

Why did he dump you?

If were expected to make you laugh, you might as well give us one first.

Not gonna drag up stuff here.

Lets just say that I made some mistakes......he made some mistakes and WE made quite a few mistakes.

Thankfully there was no third party involved.

No point in slagging each other off....we were both to blame.

Tail Wagger wrote: »

Well I'm 103 years old and not two bad looking, still have me first set of dentures. I fart a bit and dribble a lot and I'm looking for a young one about 75 to look after me, am I getting any smiles yet?

While I may not be 75...(funny thats the year I was born), and could put up with the farting and dribbling........by any chance have you a heart condition and a bit of road frontage???

minidazzler

djhunter30 wrote: »

I thought you were a woman. Obviously not, offering another female poster sex :P

I can be whatever you want me to be!

Freyja wrote: »

The first official laugh of the night.........just hope that your not we'llallhavetea's friend Jimmy...which really made me laugh.

Iamxavier OP, mindazzler is a crossdresser.
Maybe a change is on the cards??? God knows normal **** has not worked so far.

I can only presume that hidden word is c0ck, mine is normal in everything except size....like a babies arm! :cool::cool:

Also \o/ on making you laugh...though I was serious! You gotta get that first ride outta the way where you cry and feel all used and dirty before you can enjoy sex again...I can make you feel used and dirty! :P

Freyja wrote: »

While I may not be 75...(funny thats the year I was born), and could put up with the farting and dribbling........by any chance have you a heart condition and a bit of road frontage???

A Cougar! This is getting better and better!!! Grab your nerf guns boys...we are going cougar hunting!

Unique User Name

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

actually op, read this thread. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=56964355

if that doesn't make you laugh i don't know what will.

Absolutely hilarious

we'llallhavetea_old

oooh, i love this clip freyja it may bring you some comfort during this troubling time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wwt-jszjOA

Freyja

Kiera wrote: »

PM me his number. One can never have too many bf's

Nope.... thanks for offer, but he not a bad guy, hang on maybe I should send you his number.

Want some tips how to snare him/draw him in????

Super-Rush

A/S/L??

Darlughda

minidazzler wrote: »

A Cougar! This is getting better and better!!! Grab your nerf guns boys...we are going cougar hunting!

Oh shyte! gotta run. Fast. Quick someone tell Abitar the cougar hunting boys are armed and ready!:eek:

scudzilla

Freyja wrote: »

The first official laugh of the night.........just hope that your not we'llallhavetea's friend Jimmy...which really made me laugh.

scudzilla: I know its pics or GTFO...but maybe a swollen snotty red face is always funny to look at, it does not transfer well in a picture.

alwaysadub: Sleep with his brother.
Would rather gouge my eyes out with a hot poker than sleep with that fat ignorant excuse for a human being.

Iamxavier OP, mindazzler is a crossdresser.
Maybe a change is on the cards??? God knows normal **** has not worked so far.

Who mentioned face?

admiralofthefleet

if i were you i would point the finger at your closest mate, as i type this your ex is probably conkers deep in her

Zombienosh

this will make everything better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4quM5UZg1M

Freyja

minidazzler wrote: »

I can be whatever you want me to be!



I can only presume that hidden word is c0ck, mine is normal in everything except size....like a babies arm! :cool::cool:

Nope wrong word....believe me when I say...you may be inadequate in comparison.

Also \o/ on making you laugh...though I was serious! You gotta get that first ride outta the way where you cry and feel all used and dirty before you can enjoy sex again...I can make you feel used and dirty! :P

Totally prefer a role reversal here TBH.

A Cougar! This is getting better and better!!! Grab your nerf guns boys...we are going cougar hunting!

I think the rule is half my age plus 7, so you may not qualify?

Freyja

super-rush wrote: »

A/S/L??

35 (god I cant believe Im telling the truth)
Female....
Midlands........aka middle of back of beyond

4zn76tysfajdxp

Freyja wrote: »

I think the rule is half my age plus 7, so you may not qualify?

Well, I just did the "half my age plus 7" and since you're over the age of 18, you qualify for me. 'ow 'oo doin'?

L.Jenkins

minidazzler wrote: »

I can be whatever you want me to be!

No your alright, I already burnt rubber tonight getting away from a perv. On that note of burning rubber, I can create that same smell while wearing condoms :P

admiralofthefleet

Freyja wrote: »

35 (god I cant believe Im telling the truth)
Female....
Midlands........aka middle of back of beyond

kazobel:eek:

Pompey Magnus

Naomi Hundreds Vomit wrote: »

Well, I just did the "half my age plus 7" and since you're over the age of 18, you qualify for me. 'ow 'oo doin'?

Naomi Hundreds Vomit meets Freya, sounds like a Scandanavian porno...could be interesting.

bronte

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9WSb5aXLfc

Kiera

Samir Scarce Beehive wrote: »

I PM'd you mine, just to be obliging and all

Yeah got it and the "tiny" pic you sent with it. How's about you hold your breath for a call?

:P

Freyja wrote: »

Nope.... thanks for offer, but he not a bad guy, hang on maybe I should send you his number.

Want some tips how to snare him/draw him in????

Yeah i'm an evil bitch when needs be

minidazzler

Freyja wrote: »

I think the rule is half my age plus 7, so you may not qualify?

lol, he thought I meant a relationship! Naive older ladies!

Snowie

just talk to haagen dazs... tescos are doing a good deal on them at the mo .
2.50 for 500ml much nicer then that ben jerrys frozen ice crap

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Kiera wrote: »

Yeah got it and the "tiny" pic you sent with it. How's about you hold your breath for a call?

:P

Yeah i'm an evil bitch when needs be

Yeah well I heard you're as wide as the Mississippi delta :mad: