At What Age Is It Right To Tell A Child About "Sex"

Motley Crue

I got asked this question by a friend with children the other day. Wondering at what age he should tell his children about sex, and more importantly, the role sex plays - both biologically and the link with romance. If a child see's sex in a clinical way, without knowing what it is, he could think Dad is hurting Mom. On the other hand, another work friend had their child taught sex education at 11, and I'm not sure if that isn't too young....but if children are having their own relations at 13 (and sometimes younger) then maybe we should be telling them. My problem is that it destroys childhood in a way.

Personally, I had a pretty closed childhood as far as sex was concerned, whether it was because they didn't teach me sex education at school - every lesson descended to shouts of "show us your tits miss" - or because none of my friends were girls so I never really got the chance to spend time with them (I also went to a single sex school my entire Primary and Secondary education) and as a result I learned about sex through the Science book in basic Biology. The chapter on reproduction was quite insightful. It was only after that I started to learn more about what sex actually was beyond the act of reproduction.

When I finally did mix with girls in college I appreciated the "female form" more then just a dumping ground for my sperm. When I finally did sleep with a girl I had more confidence and maturity then most. But again, I was older then most of my friends when I lost my virginity, and I think that helped a lot.

On the other hand, I also enjoyed being innocent about the whole thing, and looking back I didn't need to know at 11 what my penis did other then I used it to go to the toliet.

What do you guys think, when should a child be told about sex, and what should be discussed when?

Tabnabs

This ain't the place you want sex and children in the same paragraph

hint

parenting forum ----> for adult replies

sbsquarepants

According to the Gary Glitter Childcare Bible, around 7 or 8 is fine

landsleaving

Why is everyone thinking of the children all of a sudden?

strobe

Motley Crue wrote: »

If a child see's sex in a clinical way, without knowing what it is, he could think Dad is hurting Mom.

Yikes. Maybe Dad and Mom should shut the bedroom door when they're getting jiggy.

El Siglo

Three places a child should ever find out about this type of thing:

1) If you're a Dub, it's Dublin zoo;
2) If you're a culchie it's a bull "bulling" a heifer;
3) For everyone it's second class of primary school.

Pherekydes

strobe wrote: »

Yikes. Maybe Dad and Mom should shut the bedroom door when they're getting jiggy.

Bull****. The kitchen table has many uses!

petes

When there is grass on the pitch.


I was never told about it. I figured it out!

dlofnep

Ah jesus. You don't have to tell them anything.

They will learn off their classmates in school.

My sex education came in the form of rhymes in school.

"Up the bum, no harm done. Up the fanny and she's a mammy."

Feeona

Insurgent wrote: »

I was never told about it. I figured it out!

Same here. The first time he came in my ears it was magical

petes

Feeona wrote: »

Same here. The first time he came in my ears it was magical

Sounds like he didn't figure it out! It would want to be magical to come in both ears at the same time!

Lemegeton

they should know the basics and risks/dangers at around 13/14 in my opinion

Feeona

Insurgent wrote: »

Sounds like he didn't figure it out! It would want to be magical to come in both ears at the same time!

Some men just haven't a clue!:p

me_right_one

When puberty is in full swing, 14-15 ish. That way all the bits and pieces they learned from school will start to make sense.

orourkeda

Please refer to redtube.

All the answers you'll need are here

dr.bollocko

I'm a mother and all I've done to be an expert on this is open my legs at least once but I am going to tell you at length about what I think the right thing to do is because I'm a mother and dammit that means I am magically qualified with the powers of being always right.

Wazdakka

Whether you like it or not, kids these days are exposed to sex from a very early age.

To think that they are going to stay innocent about it any longer than 11 years old is just plain naive.
They will pick up bits from TV, their friends and the internet.

biko

OP, you're much better off in Parenting than AH.

WindSock

A lot younger and with more detail than what they are currently credited with. imo.

AnonoBoy

I just let the advertising department of Hunky Dory's teach my children about sex.

Ruby-J

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I just let the advertising department of Hunky Dory's teach my children about sex.

Yeh!!! Totally agree with you on that one!

stovelid

dlofnep wrote: »

"Up the bum, no harm done. Up the fanny and she's a mammy."

I can only give this a 9 on account of the glaring tit-**** omission.

Sea Sharp

Kids know what sex is once they're old enough to use a dictionary. Which is 7 or 8.

starbelgrade

Tell them as soon as they are born. Job done & no need to worry about it anymore. Plus, if they get up / get someone up the duff, you can use the classic parenting reproach of "I told you so".

OutlawPete

Confessions of a Window Cleaner did it for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsGneb9VoCg

cynder

If you go to any school my bets is that 90% of 6th class know.

Girls hit puberty at 9+. when they hit puberty they have a right to know what there body is up to and why.

I knew about sex at 5 as i walked in on my parents. i got told more the older i got. leaving it to 14/15 is a bit late. from 4th/5th class onwards kids should get told the basics about the birds and the bees.

Got a good book for my lady called 'Whats happening to me'. it goes into the basics and i told her if she wants any more info or has any questions ask me. she did " where do you buy condoms?" so i told her.

she had a sleep over and all the girls read the book. i told the parents and one even brought her daughter the same book and go one for her son (a boys one of the same title). A little knowledge but stops them from getting things wrong when an older child starts scaring them about stuff and telling them something different at least they know the truth.

Nervous Wreck

When it becomes relevant for the child. Some kids overhear adults talking, some don't even think about it until they're teenagers; some read about it in books and others hear from their friends. If a parent thinks the child has already acquired some knowledge on the subject, that's the best time to have a little chat. Not really necessary as, provided they have friends, they're gonna learn it from them in school or whatever but a voice of experience never hurts. I learned most of what I know through experience; trial and error. For the earlier stuff, well, when I was 11, all my friends were aged between 15 and 17 so I got the info as they did!

Des Carter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgZ_zGU1Pso

VW 1

ya put it in cider???

DrumSteve

wrong place for this question.

but my immediate thought was when you pull out. :-/

CrazyRabbit

I've never understood why one of the most basic human functions is hidden from children. We've created this rubbish about 'innocence' as a reason to keep children ignorant of not only sex, but the human body itself.

Now, I'm not suggesting we should be putting a 5 year old in front of a screen of porn videos. But I don't see the harm in letting children know the difference between boys/girls & men/woman and giving them a very basic understanding of the mechanics of sex and how it is born out of love.

We teach children about the dangers of crossing the road, how to do it safely etc, but we completely fail to do the same with sex.

At the very least, it lessens their curiosity on the topic which might get them in trouble later on as young teens, and means they would be much less embarrassed to tell their parents about any 'abusive' behaviour by adults.

Dudess

dlofnep wrote: »

"Up the bum, no harm done. Up the fanny and she's a mammy."

"In the gob..."

Help a sista out with a rhyme here folks.

dr.bollocko

Dudess wrote: »

"In the gob..."

Help a sista out with a rhyme here folks.

Nob, lob, bob and job all rhyme with gob. As does corn on the cob.
Jaysus let alone a couplet you could write a filthy sonnet with all that at your disposal.

citizen_p

only education i had about it was sex ed in school, and that was by nuns and not great..... everything else was from friends, girlfriend and of course the internet....

IvySlayer

Dudess wrote: »

"In the gob..."

Help a sista out with a rhyme here folks.

In the gob, that's called a bl...

You can finish.

OutlawPete

Dudess wrote: »

"In the gob... that's a blow job"

?

EDIT: Damn you Ivy

sam34

Dudess wrote: »

"In the gob..."

Help a sista out with a rhyme here folks.

in the gob if shes on the blob

IvySlayer

OutlawPete wrote: »

?

Thief :mad:

sam34

dlofnep wrote: »

Ah jesus. You don't have to tell them anything.

They will learn off their classmates in school.

My sex education came in the form of rhymes in school.

"Up the bum, no harm done. Up the fanny and she's a mammy."

up the gee, its pregnancy

OutlawPete

IvySlayer wrote: »

Thief :mad:

I had the reply open ages thinking

Helix

me_right_one wrote: »

When puberty is in full swing, 14-15 ish. That way all the bits and pieces they learned from school will start to make sense.

jesus christ are you for real?

how many 14 year olds do you honestly think dont know the ins and outs (no pun intended) of sex in this day and age?

a kid should be told when they ask

i dont understand the faffing around the subject like its something that shouldnt be discussed. its a function of the human body, and telling kids made up fairy tales to preserve your own modesty does nothing useful imo

Dudess

sam34 wrote: »

in the gob if shes on the blob

You haf vun this thread Miss Sam.

sam34

Dudess wrote: »

You haf vun this thread Miss Sam.

no doubt about it, i'm a classy bird

Dudess

Indeed, you have yourself a membership of my and Abi's classy chicks club. :pac:

quicklickpaddy

Well you don't want them finding out off the internet... They could end up with some very very deluded views on sex... Especially if they come to AH

Dublin_Gunner

IvySlayer wrote: »

In the cob, that's called a bl...

You can finish.

Thanks, just did


In the gob, she ain't no snob.

me_right_one

Helix wrote: »

jesus christ are you for real?

how many 14 year olds do you honestly think dont know the ins and outs (no pun intended) of sex in this day and age?

a kid should be told when they ask

i dont understand the faffing around the subject like its something that shouldnt be discussed. its a function of the human body, and telling kids made up fairy tales to preserve your own modesty does nothing useful imo

Hey whats your fcukin problem? Of course I'm for real. Did YOU know everything about sex at 14? Maybe you did, but not every kid does. And the reason this information is kept controlled is nothing to do with modesty:rolleyes:, its about being mature enough to know how to handle it. would you let a 14 year old drive a car? FFS

Dublin_Gunner

me_right_one wrote: »

Hey whats your fcukin problem? Of course I'm for real. Did YOU know everything about sex at 14? Maybe you did, but not every kid does. And the reason this information is kept controlled is nothing to do with modesty:rolleyes:, its about being mature enough to know how to handle it. would you let a 14 year old drive a car? FFS

Whether you let them or not, they're doing it.

I'd rather they know the ropes if they're gonna do it anyway.

Cheap Thrills!

14 is way too late, sure most teenagers of that age wouldn't even be virgins.

I knew everything at 7.

You couldn't be going around at 14 (or even 10) in ignorance of sex. It just isn't possible.

cynder

My brother was driving the car at 10 and joy riding the land lords tractor at 12. Became a dad at 16/17.

MY 10 year old know the basics and the book i gave her explained things she might be too embarrassed to ask. Yes there is lots of sex talk in 6th class, at 14/15 they probably know more then their parents do.

quicklickpaddy

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

I knew everything at 7.

Oh yeah? Well I knew everything at 6 and a half