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Should i say something again?

  • 26-04-2010 2:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Heres my dilema.

    Met this guy through a club/hobby im involved in about a year ago. Got chatting and got on well, added each other on facebook, swapped phone numbers etc.

    Was really only a friends thing initially but we got on well and saw each other every now and again at my hobbies competitions at the weekends. Things seemed to be going well and we were chatting most nights on facebook, texting regularly so thought oh maybe its leading to something so after a few weeks i kind of brought it up one night about having feelings and we were getting on well and stuff. I had no problem bringing it up as we got on so well and felt comfortable just sussing things out.

    He said he did have some feelings too but because we dont live too close (about 2 1/2 hours away) he wasnt sure if there was any point in pursuing it as hes done the long distance thing and its not nice if you do fall for the other person and they are far away etc.

    So i kind of left it at that and we werent in contact as much after for a bit.

    But in the last month or so we've been in contact a lot, like everyday, chatting on facebook for hours, texting nearly everyday. Both of us initiating it. He would text me a lot wishing me luck (for the competition if he wasnt going to be there), asking how i was, asking how my nights going (if im out) and so on. Im finding myself getting a lot of feelings again for him, i really look forward to chatting to him, getting texts etc.

    We get on really well, makes me laugh, we can have a good joke too, gets a bit flirty as well sometimes but not sure if hes just having a laugh and being funny or if he means any more by it.

    So my dilema is, the fact that we seem to be getting on so well and have all this contact, do you think hes just being friendly and nice or should i bring up the subject of something possibly happening between us or the fact that he didnt want to give it a shot the last time a reason not to ask again.

    We are def closer this time and in contact way more so im wondering is there any point in bringing the subject up again with him?
    Would a guy be in that much contact with someone he sees as just a friend?


Comments

  • #2
    seenitall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,724 ✭✭✭seenitall


    "We are def closer this time and in contact way more so im wondering is there any point in bringing the subject up again with him?
    Would a guy be in that much contact with someone he sees as just a friend?"

    Answer to the first question: No, no point at all.
    Answer to the second question: Yes, he would, unfortunately.

    It is called head-wracking behaviour. He is using your attention and your feelings to get a nice ego boost for himself. Don't fall for it. If he really cared, not even the amount of distance between you would stop him taking things further than "harmless" flirting. Especially as he now knows very well that you are likely to fall for all his attention and flirting.

    Be strong, OP, turn your attention to someone more deserving than this attention seeker, you deserve to be with someone who will not be messing with your head.

    Good luck!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for your reply. I thought maybe i should possibly bring up the subject again and see what he thinks but maybe its not such a good idea.

    We are good friends anyway and i wouldnt want to stop being in touch and not have his friendship though so i would like to keep in contact even if it is as friends.

    I wouldnt say hes messing with my head as we just chat about stuff in general each day too but i just thought the fact that we are in contact so much that maybe theres more to it than just friendship.

    Thanks for your reply.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I disagree with the first reply OP.

    Coming from a guy's perspective...when you first brought up your feelings, it's not as if he rejected you completely, he used the long-distance excuse. This may or may not have been all there was to it. Maybe something has changed in his head/life now and that may not seem as much of a problem now.

    It could be a case that he regrets not going for it last time and because you initiated things last time he will be waiting for you to do it.

    If you dont mention it to him again, you will only regret it in the long run. From the sounds of things you are getting on grand now even after what you said, so there's no reason why bringing it up again would do any great damage, even if there was an initial period of awkwardness.

    DOnt bring it up via fb or texts though, arrange to go for a drink after your hobby at the weekend or something.


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