where are all the nice men?

LegacyUser

dunno if this is the wrong forum but were can a 27 yr old woman meet a nice guy. im sick of meeting guys in bars and nightclubs its all so false there. cant meet guys at work cause its all women.
i know people will say get a hobbie or take up a sport but i havent a clue where to start

thanks in advance

whatsamsn

Op, I hear you.
Alot of people, if not the majority who are not in relationships, feel the same.

You raise very good points. You are right you cant meet people in bars/nightclubs. So thats why people turn to alternatives, aka what you said about hobbies/courses/sport.

The reason why people say do a course, or a sport etc is because it will give you the oppurtunity to meet new people ... which will, and lets cut all the BS talk you can get on forums like these (lol), will give you the opportunity to meet new people. Which as you know, in turn you can make new friends with or meet that special someone

Only downside to the above it can suck and doesnt always work. lol. But the moral of the story is to put yourself out there. Which sadly is easier said than done

But that is the moral. The more you put yourself in situations to meet people outside of the pub scene you are more likely to find someone. Again, easier said than done, but we both know its the way forward for you missy! :P

gavney1

Well, I disagree that you can't find a nice man/woman in a bar* It's very possible and plenty of people do meet people that way, but it's not something to rely on.

Re: the whole "take up a hobby thing" - I think people need to be more specific about this. Personally, when I think hobby I usually think sports, and these are predominantly male dominated (obviously not a problem for the OP!). Recently I gave a couple of new sports a go, both to try out the new sports and also to meet new people (specifically of the female variety!). I'm doing tip rugby and Crossfit. I'd heard that lots of women get involved in these, as well as men. But that hasn't been my experience. The rugby is 90% men (and the 10% women are the GFs of other guys on the team!)The crossfit is 80% men, but most of the women involved are 35+ and I'm only 25, so too much of an age gap.

Like, what are the "hobbies" that people refer to? - I'm not being smart btw, I genuinely want to know! What are these group hobbies that involve people of mixed gender and roughly equal ages??? Knitting? Basket weaving? Bird watching? I'll try any of these!





*Although as I'm saying it, I'm just remembering talking to a girl on Friday night - was getting on grand with her, fancied her etc... and then she asked me "how much do you get paid". I was shocked but gave her the benefit of the doubt (it may have just slipped out) so jokingly said "ah, none of your business" and let it go. She then asked me again about 5 mins later - I couldn't believe it!!!

gavney1

By the way, I should mention that I tried Salsa dancing a year ago to meet new women.

Only problem was that in all honesty, I genuinely didn't enjoy the classes. I found them incredibly tedious and boring. And the majority of the women were a good bit older than me. HOWEVER, if you're in the 30+ age group and like the idea of Salsa dancing, I'd highly recommend it, as it's an excellent way to meet people

Other thing I tried was Speed Dating a few months ago. Met a nice girl out of that, but it didn't work out. I'm reluctanct to go again though, cause the whole experience was very very draining i.e. talking to 20 people in a row about the same stuff really is hard work. I'd certainly give that a go though OP, as you might not find it as tiring as I did

TitoPuente

gavney1 wrote: »

Well, I disagree that you can't find a nice man/woman in a bar

I'm with you on that. Can't understand where this "I can't meet people in pubs or clubs" mentality comes from. Lots of decent people go out and socialise. If you're going to normal places and not pretentious dumps full of sleazy gimps and oompa lumpa WAGs then there's no reason you can't meet a good guy/girl in a pub.

LegacyUser

gavney1 wrote: »

By the way, I should mention that I tried Salsa dancing a year ago to meet new women.

You see that's the problem! If you're doing these classes just to meet women, you'll be disappointed for two reasons 1. you didn't meet anyone and 2. you just wasted two hours of your life doing something you don't want to do just so you could meet women!

Always, always, always do something you have some interest in, don't do it just so you'll meet members of the opposite sex. It seriously drains the soul if you're doing something you have absolutely no interest in. In all honesty, there's nothing more attractive for me than a man who has a passion for what he's doing

gavney1

unregggg wrote: »

Always, always, always do something you have some interest in, don't do it just so you'll meet members of the opposite sex. It seriously drains the soul if you're doing something you have absolutely no interest in. In all honesty, there's nothing more attractive for me than a man who has a passion for what he's doing

Yeah, you're right. I genuinely thought the Salsa classes would be more fun tbh. I enjoy CrossFit and TipRugby - unfortunately most women don't - they would probably prefer Salsa Dancing!

LegacyUser

gavney1 wrote: »

Yeah, you're right. I genuinely thought the Salsa classes would be more fun tbh. I enjoy CrossFit and TipRugby - unfortunately most women don't - they would probably prefer Salsa Dancing!

Keep at the things you enjoy, you never know what will come of it! Your crossfit/rugby mates might have female friends/relatives who are just perfect for you!
Same advice for women too....you never know but that girl beside you in the salsa class might have a lovely brother/cousin/friend.

I've lost count of the times that some bit of luck has happened to me just because I played a sport, or I go to a particular gym, or go to the local theatre. These are all things I do for me, not to meet men. Even in my professional life, I've been offered part time work etc all because I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I wasn't expecting anything when I went to these places, so the bit of luck I got was a brilliant bonus!

Saying all that I haven't been lucky enough to meet anyone special, but it doesn't bother me too much because I'm doing things I want to do, and I have a passion for anything I do

greenprincess

Maybe try online dating? I've heard of a few sucess stories from it. I meet my boyfriend in a nightclub so dont give up on that either!

LegacyUser

The problem with meeting people in bars/clubs in Ireland is our tendency to get way too hammered!

As a guy, im sorry to admit, that too often I drink way too much. If on a night like this I meet a girl, get on well, get her no etc., the next day I will wonder would I like her if I was sober? There would also be a question mark over her and what she was doing with me in my inebriated state.

The flip side is nights where I dont over-indulge and am nicely tipsy, have a little more confidence to go chat up a girl. Quite a few times have done this successfully and tried to follow up and got no response. Now obviously there is the (strong) possibility that the girl wasnt that interested in the beginning. But there is also the chance that she was a bit too drunk for her to trust her judgment, like I mentioned I would be above.

My main point is that both girls and guys have a tendency to drink too much in our bars/clubs and to meet someone where there is a chance of following up on something there needs to be a double coincidence that neither of you are going to get too drunk by the end of the night.

Regarding the whole hobby thing, I would have thought learning a language would be the ideal hobby/class for a 50-50 gender divide...something I really want to do but not to meet women, although I imagine it could be a good place for that.

Miss Fluff

Friends of friends is normally a good way of meeting people. Expand your social circle. Also try online dating.

Cullen82

Question: Are pubs/clubs not places where women go to reject guys? :pac: