'No Couples Allowed' this is stupid

jjjade

ok me and the boyfriend have decided to live together and money is tight so we need to look for places to stay with other people. even though there are a few nice places that accept couples (i give them people 2 thumbs up) they are plain and a bit small for us. i have looked at the most amazing double rooms but no couples accepted. i can understand the who environment were single professionals don't want to see the cuddling, and the kisses and feel awkward, but me and my boyfriend are affection by ourselves. we have been in the presence of couples and it is annoying watching them be all romantic and soppy but what about the couples who are aware of every1 around them and are considerate of the people around them?

it sucks looking for a place when this no couple rule applies. in the times we are living in currently baggers can not be choosers........ im just a bit annoyed over this and i feel sad

The_Conductor

I can understand why people in a houseshare would rather not have a couple sharing with them- there can very rapidly be a 'them' and 'us' attitude among people. Some people really don't mind couples- whereas its a massive issue for others. Myself- if I was renting with my s/o- I'd really rather we have our own place- even it were small- I'd appreciate the privacy.

Check out DAFT and other outlets- you may be very surprised, small 1 bed apartments have become a lot more affordable. Also- the prices are asking prices- feel free to offer whatever takes your fancy- there is so much vacant property out there, most landlords will take whatever they can get........

jjjade

hey thank you. we have been looking and as i said our budget is tight. we have been looking at a place to live by ourselves as that is what we would prepare. but all they offer really is studio apartments that i have viewed pictures of and i don't fancy the bed in the living room beside the cooker lol . we are looking and plowing along to find somewhere but it is annoying sometimes.

i do understand why people rather advertise for one person only but at the same time me and the boyfriend are easy going people and from living with others we have an understanding of how the accommodation acts like a unit and not a us. we just want something really nice and its getting frustrating at this point

adamski8

well OP its not their fault they dont know how great or not you two as a couple are, they are thinking in general.
aside from pubic cuddling etc, of course people will want to live with 1 person rather than a couple of people, the place will be more crowded the bills higher etc as i take it you would want to be paying the single occupancy price or would you be planning to pay more than the single occupacny rent?

even if your not affectionate people will still feel like they are intruding say if its just you two watching a film and the third person walks in, they usually wouldnt feel comfortable sitting and joining ye

jjjade

if we had to pay more i would find that fair, and i dont mind that. i can understand places with one person currently living there not wanting to be a third wheel. there are 2+ people looking for people who i think can out number me and the partner if need be, which i doubt will happen. bills will be slightly higher but it gets divided by eg 3 and not 2 its not that bad. but in all fairness i lived with one person who had the heat on even in the summer around the clock and the bill was higher, we are considerate and the bill thing depends on the people sharing the bills and not the couple.

Creamy Goodness

go to http://www.daft.ie/
click sharing.
click advanced search
tick "Are you looking for places that accept couples?"

problem solved.

adamski8

jjjade wrote: »

if we had to pay more i would find that fair, and i dont mind that. i can understand places with one person currently living there not wanting to be a third wheel. there are 2+ people looking for people who i think can out number me and the partner if need be, which i doubt will happen. bills will be slightly higher but it gets divided by eg 3 and not 2 its not that bad. but in all fairness i lived with one person who had the heat on even in the summer around the clock and the bill was higher, we are considerate and the bill thing depends on the people sharing the bills and not the couple.

thats what i thought you might say alright so i wanted to then say that doesnt that mean the rent comes to a very similar amount compared to if ye rented a place together. just what i found when i looking.

but yeah plus 1 what creamy goodness said, you cant really change the situation so just try get what you can!

jjjade

daft should really have a option 'no single people accepted' lol they would have more of an arguement if that option was added. we are just stupid couples who dont get a say only a stupid tick box

i am aware of the 'advanced option' tick box. just the places that wont accept us are much nicer and bigger thats why im annoyed

jjjade

adamski8 - isnt every1 today looking for a deal when it comes to money i do understand what you are saying and i do agree with it. i am just annoyed that the single occupents get the better rooms. dont worry the rooms im bitching about will be up on the sites next month with 'couples accepted' as they are desperate. i have been looking at these sites for two months (no decission made at the this point to move out) and the 'no couples' have changed status after their due to move in date. we are accepted, but not in the way we would like to be

ah well

macy9

I was in an accomodation where it was advertised as ''males only'' but managed to convince them that I was the perfect house mate and it turned out great. Tell them you understand their reservations but set it out straight that you won't be annoying and you'll pay your proper share.

AARRRRGH

Oh God, I would never, ever live with a couple again. Did it a few times.
Its just impossible. You cant have a nark with one half of the couple but the other half gets involved. They have the majority vote already always.

Couples should be banned from house share. And I would fully understand someone nt wanting to share with myself and other half too. Ive been on the other end and so would not expect anyone lse to put up with us as a couple either. Thanks God we have our own place now.

jjjade

Macy - well ahead of you there i still have been applying for the rooms today stating what you have said, hopefully fingers crossed that at least 1will change their minds

AARRRRGH

macy9 wrote: »

I was in an accomodation where it was advertised as ''males only'' but managed to convince them that I was the perfect house mate and it turned out great. Tell them you understand their reservations but set it out straight that you won't be annoying and you'll pay your proper share.

That will never work with anyone who has ever shared with a couple

jjjade

AARRRRGH wrote: »

Oh God, I would never, ever live with a couple again. Did it a few times.
Its just impossible. You cant have a nark with one half of the couple but the other half gets involved. They have the majority vote already always.

Couples should be banned from house share. And I would fully understand someone nt wanting to share with myself and other half too. Ive been on the other end and so would not expect anyone lse to put up with us as a couple either. Thanks God we have our own place now.

i am crying with laughter at this, nice one dude i live with a couple at the moment by myself and she fights with him all the time and picks on me a bit lol. it works at all angles

ztoical

People are free to look for whatever type of person they wish to share with...plenty of places post "professionals only" cus lots of people think students are just going to be dirty and drinking all the time and keeping weird hours etc etc there are plenty of students out there that aren't like that and would make fine house mates but it's just easier to stop them all applying rather then trying to weed out the decent ones.

pooch90

i wouldn't fancy it to be honest, god forbid the couple have a row. Nightmare!

ztoical

jjjade wrote: »

i live with a couple at the moment by myself and she fights with him all the time and picks on me a bit lol. it works at all angles

Hold on you live with a couple who fight all the time yet can't accept why people post no couples allowed? Is this thread some joke I'm not getting?

jjjade

i live with a couple at the moment and it is very funny listening to them argue cause it is over the most stupid meaningless things that matters to her and its funnier cause the poor lad has nothing

MagicMarker

There's no chance I would live with a couple.

jjjade

as the person said before about the students not allowed in accommodation. its all sterotypes really. when its only minority of students that are dirty and drunk etc. where the minority of couples living with others are argumentative, gang up on the rest of the house mates etc puts up a bad name for the rest of us. i live with the minority couple at the moment and trust me we are not all like that.

AARRRRGH

jjjade wrote: »

i live with a couple at the moment and it is very funny listening to them argue cause it is over the most stupid meaningless things that matters to her and its funnier cause the poor lad has nothing

And thats why people dont want to live with couples. Easier for people to just avoid letting a couple into the house tbh. I know I would never stand by and let someone argue with my other have without butting in. I understand why people wouldnt want to share with that kind of thing.

jjjade

it depends, if someone fights with my other half over something valid i wouldnt butt in the same way he wouldnt if i was wrong. we are all treated as individuals in a house share. single occupants fight with each other as well

and the quote you quoted on was the couple i live with fighting with each other not with me. i would never get in a row tat involved me. its none of my business really

AARRRRGH

jjjade wrote: »

it depends, if someone fights with my other half over something valid i wouldnt butt in the same way he wouldnt if i was wrong. we are all treated as individuals in a house share. single occupants fight with each other as well

and the quote you quoted on was the couple i live with fighting with each other not with me. i would never get in a row tat involved me. its none of my business really

But you can understand that prevention is better than cure though.

jjjade

ive had bad experiences with single professionals that i have lived with in the past over numberous issues. but i found living with a couple was better for me in my opinion, i am going to be sad leaving the couple. i have lived in three different houses and the couple was the best in my opinion. bad experiences with couples are depending on the people in the couple not because they are a couple. i know people have the right to live with who they want, but if this was me being a single occupant complaining about the ' no single occupant' policy an add may have than the posts would be different than what im getting.

i wrote this to blow of some steam and maybe i am wrong in what i am saying. but at the same time there is such a negative view in living with couples, and it isnt true that we are all like the past ones you lived with, or the ones you see on tv or the ones you hang out with. there is such horror story's about this and i do believe if one of those adds got back to me and said we will give this a shot me and the partner as a couple are individuals and because we are living with others you do have a tendency to consider the others in the house and behave.

my opinion

Max Power1

adamski8 wrote: »

well OP its not their fault they dont know how great or not you two as a couple are, they are thinking in general.
aside from pubic cuddling etc, of course people will want to live with 1 person rather than a couple of people, the place will be more crowded the bills higher etc as i take it you would want to be paying the single occupancy price or would you be planning to pay more than the single occupacny rent?

even if your not affectionate people will still feel like they are intruding say if its just you two watching a film and the third person walks in, they usually wouldnt feel comfortable sitting and joining ye

lol what can I say, best freudian slip in quite some time :P

Jesh1

This thread reads like a domestic.

jjjade

ztoical

jjjade wrote: »

i wrote this to blow of some steam and maybe i am wrong in what i am saying. but at the same time there is such a negative view in living with couples, and it isnt true that we are all like the past ones you lived with, or the ones you see on tv or the ones you hang out with. there is such horror story's about this and i do believe if one of those adds got back to me and said we will give this a shot me and the partner as a couple are individuals and because we are living with others you do have a tendency to consider the others in the house and behave.

There is a ranting and raving forum you know...might be better suited for blowing off steam as your undermining the thread yourself by complaining about the couple you live with now. I assume as your only looking with the OH now that you haven't lived together before this....how do you know what you'll be like sharing? People can be different when you live with them.

jjjade

your right this is the first time living with the boyfriend. we practically live together anyways. i spend probably 2 nights by myself and the rest house hopping, i either live with him for the day or he lives with me etc. hopefully it will not change that much, but as i said we are both easy going people little things dont get to us.... it takes a lot to make us eventually fight and even at that it has to be huge!!!

tenchi-fan

couples would crowd out other members of the household... crowding in shared areas like kitchens and bathrooms, heating bills and waste disposal would be higher but the couple would argue against paying two shares, in arguments the couple will usually side with each other to get their point across, and then there is the public (or public) cuddling aspect. In fact, they'd want to pay the same price for a double room as a single person, even though they're not just renting a room.. they're also renting the kitchen and living room.

I certainly wouldn't want to share with a couple.

there is an option though and I'm surprised you haven't thought of it. share with other couples. You could rent a two bedroom apartment and split the rent and bills four ways.

Or another option is to offer an extra say 50% on the asking to take into account you are two people and not just one! It's fairer and others in the house may agree to it.

oflahero

Have a goo at this thread...
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055803886

jjjade

tenchi-fan wrote: »

couples would crowd out other members of the household... crowding in shared areas like kitchens and bathrooms, heating bills and waste disposal would be higher but the couple would argue against paying two shares, in arguments the couple will usually side with each other to get their point across, and then there is the public (or public) cuddling aspect. In fact, they'd want to pay the same price for a double room as a single person, even though they're not just renting a room.. they're also renting the kitchen and living room.

I certainly wouldn't want to share with a couple.

there is an option though and I'm surprised you haven't thought of it. share with other couples. You could rent a two bedroom apartment and split the rent and bills four ways.

Or another option is to offer an extra say 50% on the asking to take into account you are two people and not just one! It's fairer and others in the house may agree to it.

what couples are you thinking off? if you have read the posts that i have posted up we are individuals which means the bills will be split in eg 3 and not 2 if another was to live with us. also i have stated in previous post that i would not have any issue payin more if it was required cause we are a couple. i have viewed places that accept couples and they rent out eg a double room for 400 and state that if couple it will be 600. i have no issue with this. i live with a couple and i pay a third of these bills, whoever pays the 2/3s after that isnt my problem. i would completely agree with it being unfair if we were to pay as one and not two. and couples renting expect it to be split in 2 instead of one, also people who you are house sharing with will tell you this as well as why should they pay extra for us.

that statement is just stupid and ignorant

jjjade

oflahero wrote: »

Have a goo at this thread...
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055803886

that is terrible i wouldnt not accept tat but most decent people would know that they are to pay 2 ways instead of 1 common sense really i think

tenchi-fan

jjjade wrote: »

that statement is just stupid and ignorant

meh.

good luck finding a place. you know that most people renting out (even to couples) will want to meet you first. You might try to tone your attitude down a little.

It's not stupid at all. Couples totally change the dynamic of a house and it is usually really awkward for everyone else. I've lived with several couples and it always ended really badly. Even if they try to be considerate, the fact is they always side with each other in disputes and arguments, they do tend to crowd out others by usually eating together every night. I don't like feeling like a third wheel in my own kitchen.

tHE vAGGABOND

Lived with a couple in the UK, and while it was my place, I really did not like it at all, as they did everything as a couple [fight, watch tv, cook, eat not to mention public and private displays of affection [to be polite]!] - I was nothing more than an inconvenience to them..

Hence why I [and many others] don't like living with couples and avoid where possible!

Firetrap

Got to agree with the others. I'd never share again with a couple - life is too short. The worst bit was the hogging the kitchen thing. No matter what way you look at it, a couple in a house is a different entity to Mary and Johnny the people. Anyway OP, I hope you find a place. Some people aren't as fussy as we are

pikachucheeks

adamski8 wrote: »

of course people will want to live with 1 person rather than a couple of people, the place will be more crowded the bills higher etc

This is the reason my house mates and I chose to not accept couples, to be honest.
It's a small house, so we preferred the option of renting the available room to one person, rather than two.
Having an extra person in the house also puts more pressure on resources (shower, TV, cooker etc).

adamski8 wrote: »

if its just you two watching a film and the third person walks in, they usually wouldnt feel comfortable sitting and joining ye

I agree with this too. I lived with a couple who were engaged and while they were nice enough people, they'd do a lot of stuff as a couple which meant that it was slightly awkward for the rest of us.
If they were watching TV, we didn't want to intrude on their couple time etc.

OP, I'm sure there'll be something to suit your needs, even on a tight budget. You might find something perfect for the two of you like a one-bed apartment or bedsit.

You say that a lot of people don't like the idea of living with a couple, but also consider that as a couple can be quite difficult to live with other people! It's hard to have time to yourselves within a house-share and anything like a romantic night in is pretty much off the cards, unless you OK it in advance with your house mates.
So you and your OH might be happier and more comfortable living in a smaller place for just the two of you.

If you are set on living in a house share, just put out a good image of yourselves when you meet potential house mates. Explain that you have no issues with sharing, you'll both be paying your way in the house as individuals etc...

ricman

IF you look on daft ie theres studio/flats going 4 around 500 per month.
I think its a bit unfair for a couple to expect to get a room thats designed for 1 person in a house sharing situation ,ie a 3bed house should have 3 people
unless its a very big house.IF you were renting 2 rooms that would be an easier compromise.

the_syco

ztoical wrote: »

People are free to look for whatever type of person they wish to share with...plenty of places post "professionals only" cus lots of people think students are just going to be dirty

"professionals only" = a year means a year, and not a school "year"

jjjade wrote: »

we practically live together anyways

Argh, the worst offenders: those who pay for only one person, but gets the other over for a bit. You people are usually hated more than couples who live inthe house.

thorbarry

the_syco wrote: »

Argh, the worst offenders: those who pay for only one person, but gets the other over for a bit. You people are usually hated more than couples who live inthe house.

what about if you are renting a room, and your other half is also renting another room somewhere else. Half the time you are with the other half in their place, then the other half the time your other half is with you. If u are only there half the time, and when you are the other half is with you, it totally evens out

the_syco

thorbarry wrote: »

what about if you are renting a room, and your other half is also renting another room somewhere else. Half the time you are with the other half in their place, then the other half the time your other half is with you. If u are only there half the time, and when you are the other half is with you, it totally evens out

Half the time someone is freeloading off your housemates, and you freeload off someone elses housemates... If I come home to the house I live in, and I see you and one of the other lads in the TV room, I'll come in, and chill. If I come in to the TV room, and you are wearing the face off your other half, it's awkward.

thorbarry

the_syco wrote: »

If I come in to the TV room, and you are wearing the face off your other half, it's awkward.

haha seriously dude, who would do that? I sure as well aint

ricman

COULD you not rent a 1 bed apartment,or a self contained flat, i see apartments going on daft.ie for 450 euro per month
Theres people on the dole paying 400 a month for one room,so i,m trying to figure out why do you want to share a house at all.Unless you are just looking in a specific area eg bray.

Toto Wolfcastle

There's no point in saying that you as a couple are different and will not cause hassle and rarely fight. You don't know that because you have no lived together. Staying in each other's houses a couple of times a week is totally different to living together. When you live together there will be no where to go to get your own space. Living apart you can always go home if you need space. And if you don't know what you are like as a couple living together how are the current occupants of the houses you are looking at supposed to know?

macy9

Why don't you just move in with another couple?

It seems the most obvious option.

gaeilgegrinds1

Before we bought our own place we shared with another couple who were also saving, worked a treat really. Just a thought! Least then it's an all couple environment.

gaeilgegrinds1

And then I read the post above mine! Great minds!