Looks vs Personality

gonnaplayrugby

Ok this is not a question about which one you go for but which would you prefer as the reason a certain girl/boy didn't like you.

I found out a girl I like thought I'm hot, but we'll never be because of of my personality.

So which would hurt you more? Finding out the girl you like thinks you're a great guy but thinks your ugly, or finding out the girl you like thinks your hot but doesn't particulary like you.

ATM I'm thinking of what I can do to change myself.

minidazzler

I'd rather someone not want me because of my personality TBH.

Because it simply means our personalities didn't mesh well together, it doesn't make me a bad person.

MagicMarker

gonnaplayrugby wrote: »

ATM I'm thinking of what I can do to change myself.

Don't do anything. Unless you're an asshole.

bazmaiden

MagicMarker wrote: »

Don't do anything. you're an asshole.

harsh

MagicMarker

bazmaiden wrote: »

harsh

fail

RoyalMarine

Id never change my personality for a girl/woman.

Why should i? I am who i am.

If she cant love/like me for who i am, then fúck her. not worth it at all.

Censorsh!t

I'd be a lot more hurt if a guy told me my personality sucked!
I mean, i'd be hurt if I was told either, but in the long run, my personality matters a lot more.

RMD

You can't **** over personality.

OutlawPete

Both matter, as at the end of the day they are both 'you'.

I think you live with someone not being beautiful, but you still have to find them attractive, it's shallow, but true.

As for personality, if you are with a bitch or an asshole, something about you makes you think that is what you only deserve a bitch or an asshole, as if you didn't, you'd tell them to fuck off.

MistyCheese

I'd rather be a hot b*tch than an ugly duckling.

sponsoredwalk

Being a man and having deluded myself for quite some time with the "personality" line I've come to the conclusion that both equally matter in a 70%-70% ratio, no excuses!


Edit: I'd still rather be with an ugly duckling who's nice than a hot bitch

rossie1977

looks and personality are not mutually exclusive, despite what people think

some of the best looking girls i know have fantastic personalities and vice versa

gonnaplayrugby

ye great but thats not the question.

TrollHammaren

To be honest, I really care very little about how physically attractive I am to the opposite sex. I do look after my body, but for health and fitness reasons, not aesthetics. So, if a girl was to reject me because she thought I was ugly I really wouldn't care.

For personality? Well, not all personalities are compatable. Then again, meaningful relationships result from compatable personalities, so I probably wouldn't be interested in the first place.

Besides, chances are I wouldn't go for a girl if I didn't find her attractive, and I'd be a hypocrite to fault a girl for doing the same.

Kimono-Girl

id rather be turned down for looks rather than personality, everyone likes different looks so whats pretty for one is ugly for another! everybody is good looking in the eyes of someone!

StinkySocs

I was hanging out with a group of lads last summer. One guy was really hot but as boring as hell...ranting on all the time about how rich he was, bla, bla, bla.
One of his mates told him that a load of girls thought he was really hot but really boring....he was delighted.

I think that if it's a personality thing, u should find out what it is...cos if your an arrogant know it all....then your screwed. But then she mite be equallly arrogant, and up her self ...ummm I don't really know actually!

MitchKoobski

Changing yourself usually never works.
If it comes to losing weight or something, then yeah go for it. Health and such.If it comes to changing what you like, do or generally how you act, then it might work at first but it could end badly.

Think of it as a lie. You're lying about how you are. If it works, you think **** yyeeaaahhhhh. And then you have to keep up the lie. And then it becomes a constant spiral of lies trying to keep her interested until eventually you crash and burn and end up pushing her off a bridge when you have a mental breakdown or something.


But yeah, from experience if a girl tells you "I would but you're ugly" tell her to go **** herself. If she says "I would but you're personality is meh", then maybe try a different approach, or just work on it. But don't overdo it.

TrollHammaren

MistyCheese wrote: »

I'd rather be a hot b*tch than an ugly duckling.

I genuinely believe that one of the most unattractive traits in a woman is nasty personality.

TheZohanS

MistyCheese wrote: »

I'd rather be a hot b*tch than an ugly duckling.

Looks fade...

RolandIRL

personality is better than looks...if you're looking for a relationship.
but for one-night stands...looks :pac:

El Siglo

TheZohan wrote: »

Looks fade...

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.
TBH, I think a personality matters a lot more. If you get on with the person you tend to go beyond the looks stuff fairly rapidly. Also, if you're good looking but a bitch/prick, then you've probably got more issues than a National Geographic and that just wouldn't be cricket.;)

chriscross1

you are who and what u are so

candy-gal1

well imho i think both looks and personality are equally important to be in a relationship with someone. I mean, you cant really be with someone long term who is either hot but a not-so-nice person or someone whos great to hang out with but your not 100% attracted to lookswise. thats just imho.

MistyCheese

But both looks and personality are subjective. There are people who think I'm a wonderful human being (seriously) and there are people who would happily pack me off to Serbia just so that they never have to talk to me again. Likewise there are people who would pay me to take my clothes off and dance around for them and there are people who'd rather have their eyes removed than watch me do that.

El Weirdo

MistyCheese wrote: »

But both looks and personality are subjective. There are people who think I'm a wonderful human being (seriously) and there are happy who would happily pack me off to Serbia just so that they never have to talk to me again. Likewise there are people who would pay me to take my clothes off and dance around for them and there are people who'd rather have their eyes removed than watch me do that.

Stop with the modesty, please.

Mrmoe

The reason why she doesn't like you is not really important more than the fact that she rejected you. Move on, don't change yourself for anybody, just for yourself.

sponsoredwalk

In the spirit of "subjectivity" I will repeat the above comment as'

Screw her, her loss

aDeener

gonnaplayrugby wrote: »

Ok this is not a question about which one you go for but which would you prefer as the reason a certain girl/boy didn't like you.

I found out a girl I like thought I'm hot, but we'll never be because of of my personality.

So which would hurt you more? Finding out the girl you like thinks you're a great guy but thinks your ugly, or finding out the girl you like thinks your hot but doesn't particulary like you.

ATM I'm thinking of what I can do to change myself.

and you are surprised at this revelation?

MistyCheese

El Weirdo wrote: »

Stop with the modesty, please.

Read the rest of my post, please. Or is "there are people who would happily pack me off to Serbia just so that they never have to talk to me again" too conceited for you?

Andy-Pandy

Pfft, I cant stick my cock in your personality...

SugarHigh

personalty is easier to fake/change.

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

Id never change my personality for a girl/woman.

Why should i? I am who i am.

If she cant love/like me for who i am, then fúck her. not worth it at all.

Why do people consider not being able to change your personality a good thing?

Do you honestly believe you have a perfect personality?

If you don't then what is wrong with trying to change it.

StinkySocs wrote: »

I was hanging out with a group of lads last summer. One guy was really hot but as boring as hell...ranting on all the time about how rich he was, bla, bla, bla.
One of his mates told him that a load of girls thought he was really hot but really boring....he was delighted.

I think that if it's a personality thing, u should find out what it is...cos if your an arrogant know it all....then your screwed. But then she mite be equallly arrogant, and up her self ...ummm I don't really know actually!

But their is a chance that he will realise he is an arrogant dick and then try to change.

If he was ugly bastard he would always be an ugly bastard.

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Think of it as a lie. You're lying about how you are. If it works, you think **** yyeeaaahhhhh. And then you have to keep up the lie. And then it becomes a constant spiral of lies trying to keep her interested until eventually you crash and burn and end up pushing her off a bridge when you have a mental breakdown or something.

But if you actually change yourself than it's not a lie.

citizen_p

well looks win in my opinion, everyone has some personality and can change etc... where as your born with looks (genes etc...) and they are the first thing somone notices before they even know if you have a personality

SugarHigh

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

In the spirit of "subjectivity" I will repeat the above comment as'

Screw her, her loss

It's amazing how it's always the other persons loss and not the one who is rejected and can't get something they want.

SugarHigh

Mousey- wrote: »

well looks win in my opinion, everyone has some personality and can change etc... where as your born with looks (genes etc...) and they are the first thing somone notices before they even know if you have a personality

+1

not only that but if you're good looking people will like your personality more.

sponsoredwalk

SugarHigh wrote: »

It's amazing how it's always the other persons loss and not the one who is rejected and can't get something they want.

It is amazing isn't it

sponsoredwalk

SugarHigh wrote: »

+1

not only that but if you're good looking people will like your personality more.

Luckily you don't speak for everyone :pac:

SugarHigh

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

Luckily you don't speak for everyone :pac:

People pay way more attention to what a good looking girl says than what a fat ugly girl says. The ugly girl will have to try harder to impress people.

Same for men but maybe not as much.

RoyalMarine

SugarHigh wrote: »

personalty is easier to fake/change.


Why do people consider not being able to change your personality a good thing?

Do you honestly believe you have a perfect personality?

If you don't then what is wrong with trying to change it.


But if you actually change yourself than it's not a lie.

I dont have a perfect personality, very far from it, but i still dont agree with a girl asking me to change something about myself, when i would more appreciate her to accept me for who i am.

As i have done with my gf for the last 2 years.

Lia_lia

SugarHigh wrote: »

+1

not only that but if you're good looking people will like your personality more.

What?

m@cc@

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

Id never change my personality for a girl/woman.

Why should i? I am who i am.

If she cant love/like me for who i am, then fúck her. not worth it at all.

I don't agree with that in all cases. If it's a negative aspect of your personality (temper, over-sensitive), I reckon you should at least attempt to work on these things assuming that you agree with the criticism.

SugarHigh

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

I dont have a perfect personality, very far from it, but i still dont agree with a girl asking me to change something about myself, when i would more appreciate her to accept me for who i am.

As i have done with my gf for the last 2 years.

I think you should stop watching Oprah and start to realise that you have many flaws and you would be a better person if you tried to get rid of some of them instead of this crappy attitude of I'm fine the way I am. Raise the bar a little.

sponsoredwalk

SugarHigh wrote: »

People pay way more attention to what a good looking girl says than what a fat ugly girl says. The ugly girl will have to try harder to impress people.

Same for men but maybe not as much.

Maybe some people do but it might interest you to know that not everybody reacts like iron filings to a magnet because some hot girl says something.

Just because you see the world in black and white terms doesn't make it so, If what you were saying was so overarching as you claim we'd all be buying X magazine because there's a shiny girl on the cover.

Btw, not all "big fat ugly girls" have to try harder, some are perfectly happy with who they are and your judgemental bull**** doesn't affect them.

SugarHigh

Lia_lia wrote: »

What?

It's easier for a good looking guy to be a charmer than it is for a disfigured chap.

How people look affect how they are treated.

SugarHigh

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

Maybe some people do but it might interest you to know that not everybody reacts like iron filings to a magnet because some hot girl says something.

Just because you see the world in black and white terms doesn't make it so, If what you were saying was so overarching as you claim we'd all be buying X magazine because there's a shiny girl on the cover.

Btw, not all "big fat ugly girls" have to try harder, some are perfectly happy with who they are and your judgemental bull**** doesn't affect them.

I think you just can't see it or maybe your refusing to.

Good looking people get treated better because people like to be around good looking people.

EDIT: also you magazine analogy is flawed because good looking people are put on covers because they do in fact sell more.

H2UMrsRobinson

Looks are important but on a more subconcious level. We ALL make a snap decision on meeting someone judged on their looks, it's inbuilt by nature. We tend to put people into a category starting with "gorgeous" all the way through the spectrum via "Average" right down to "Fugly"

I would estimate that 75% of the population fall into the middle spectrum, the "they'll do" category, however we are the lucky ones, as we have a wider pool to trawl through to find a mate that we gel with on a personality basis.

it's always the personality that wins out in the end IMHO, looks are the worm to lure the fish, but you need a good strong line (personality) to reel them in...

Answer to OP:- I would much prefer to be rejected because I'm not a hottie, rather than my personality sucked..!

sponsoredwalk

SugarHigh wrote: »

I think you just can't see it or maybe your refusing to.

Good looking people get treated better because people like to be around good looking people.

Haha, omg

This sounds like the anguish of a person who thinks that they are agly and then lashes out at the world in helpless response:pac:

I remember your spammy answers in the "cancer cure" thread and I answered every bs claim you made & never got a response :rolleyes:

You really look at the world with a crazy set of eyes there

You might be as shallow as to class people by rank of their looks and then socialize with them to satisfy some crazy psychological need, but there exists many people who think about other things during the day.

I bet your catnip to advertisers

El Siglo

MistyCheese wrote: »

But both looks and personality are subjective. There are people who think I'm a wonderful human being (seriously) and there are people who would happily pack me off to Serbia just so that they never have to talk to me again. Likewise there are people who would pay me to take my clothes off and dance around for them and there are people who'd rather have their eyes removed than watch me do that.

Serbia aye?
These chaps might like you...

SugarHigh

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

Haha, omg

This sounds like the anguish of a person who thinks that they are agly and then lashes out at the world in helpless response:pac:

I remember your spammy answers in the "cancer cure" thread and I answered every bs claim you made & never got a response :rolleyes:

You really look at the world with a crazy set of eyes there

You might be as shallow as to class people by rank of their looks and then socialize with them to satisfy some crazy psychological need, but there exists many people who think about other things during the day.

I bet your catnip to advertisers

How am I lashing out, I never said anything negative about judging people by their looks I just pointed out that everyone does it?

Everyone does their best to look good so why do they bother if there are so many people like you who supposedly don't care?

You are judged by your looks and I also guarantee you judge other people by their looks. It is a good attribute to be good looking.

sponsoredwalk

SugarHigh wrote: »

How am I lashing out, I never said anything negative about judging people by their looks I just pointed out that everyone does it?

Everyone does their best to look good so why do they bother if there are so many people like you who supposedly don't care?

You are judged by your looks and I also guarantee you judge other people by their looks. It is a good attribute to be good looking.

How many times have you been wrong in that split second unconscious judgement you've made? Never? I doubt it...

I'm not saying we don't do it, I'm not saying I don't do it but I am saying that it's not the only ****ing thing that matters & it's not such an important thing as you make it out to be.

You can also be wrong in that judgement and you can change your mind and find somebody hot all of a sudden. I have & I know others have too.

I like all people irrespective of how they look & I'm not so screwed up as to like somebody more because they look good. I have loads of dog ugly friends oh, and guess what... They get laid :eek: It's about perspective to a large degree but other things do matter.

SugarHigh

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

How many times have you been wrong in that split second unconscious judgement you've made? Never? I doubt it...

I'm not saying we don't do it, I'm not saying I don't do it but I am saying that it's not the only ****ing thing that matters & it's not such an important thing as you make it out to be.

You can also be wrong in that judgement and you can change your mind and find somebody hot all of a sudden. I have & I know others have too.

I like all people irrespective of how they look & I'm not so screwed up as to like somebody more because they look good. I have loads of dog ugly friends oh, and guess what... They get laid :eek: It's about perspective to a large degree but other things do matter.

It's not a judgement people have control over. People warm to good looking people quicker that's why TV is full of them. Stop being so insecure about it.

MistyCheese

El Siglo wrote: »

Serbia aye?
These chaps might like you...

Hmm, I'm not really a cat person but that little cub is so cute. Em, I mean, I'd wager the cub has a delightful and charming personality.