No Friends left and pretty much down about it

arsenallegend

I've pretty much lost all my friends to Marriage, girlfriends or they moved down the country or overboard. It never worried me until today I'm pretty much left on my own:(. I'm starting a PLC course in september but after doing three others in the past and not making one mate out of them i won't hold my breath. Is anyone in the same boat any advice on what a lonely guy like me should do?

Ruu_Old

Join a fitness club or go travelling (really, go travelling!).

SRFC90

Get back in contact with the ones married and hooked up, make it your business to get a few pints in with them sometime and go from there.

Arrange to maybe visite those down the country with others (provided that wouldnt seem completely wierd given the situation).

And be bold and brave and open up to try make new friends at your PLC, scary I know, but if ya never try ya never know!

arsenallegend

Recently i found out my only friend left after most of my close mates either got married or moved aboard is planning to move down country. I found out a few days back and have been pretty depressed about this event simply put i'm left alone with no chance of making friends. I'm starting a PLC course(1 year) in september but I've done three courses over the past 12 years and i haven't made one mate from them so i'm not holding out for much in this . I'm 30 years of age, No girlfriend and no chance of getting one the way my life is and no social life either:(. I'm shy which doesn't help in attracting new friend plus i haven't the choice of clubbing anymore since i lost all my best mates


I've suffered from depression and this has really been a bad two or three years in my life. Any advice on what i could do?

arsenallegend

Sorry posted a double psot sorry

AlmightyCushion

Moved from after hours, it's much better off in here.

You should arrange to meet up with all the old friends. If a lot of them know eachother then maybe arrange a weekend away or a pissup or something. I haven't seen some of my college friends in a while (and some of the ones I have I didn't get to spend much time with them) and we just recently arranged a massive piss up for next weekend. In my case it was easier because I live with one of them and see some of the others regularly but even still it's worth a shot. If you're not into drinking then you always have things like paintballing.

whatsamsn

delete me
ill post this in the other one.

arsenallegend

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Moved from after hours, it's much better off in here.

You should arrange to meet up with all the old friends. If a lot of them know eachother then maybe arrange a weekend away or a pissup or something. I haven't seen some of my college friends in a while (and some of the ones I have I didn't get to spend much time with them) and we just recently arranged a massive piss up for next weekend. In my case it was easier because I live with one of them and see some of the others regularly but even still it's worth a shot. If you're not into drinking then you always have things like paintballing.

Even before i knew they were moving there was a little bit of a parting in the ways with them having Children, wives or girlfriends hanging around and going out wasn't what they wanted to do. I tried with the ones still living in Ireland to try and have a night out but they simply aren't interested. I understand with kids and jobs time on their hands isn't that avaible.

arsenallegend

SRFC90 wrote: »

Get back in contact with the ones married and hooked up, make it your business to get a few pints in with them sometime and go from there.

Arrange to maybe visite those down the country with others (provided that wouldnt seem completely wierd given the situation).

And be bold and brave and open up to try make new friends at your PLC, scary I know, but if ya never try ya never know!

PLC courses are tough especially since a good 95% of the students are Dublin Based and i tried to get nights out set up in the past but most have park time jobs or their own mates. they were nice but i always got the feeling they didn't want to get to know each other outside class. I tried but they clearly weren't interested

whatsamsn

bah posted this by mistake in your double post thread.

might as well drop it in here:

Sadly this happens to alot of people OP.
These are cliche words - because you've most probably heard them before - but it really is the only way. .... you make opportunites for yourself.

In other words spend more free time doing hobbies, like off the top of my head, kickboxing, or drama classes. But it could be anything. It pretty much seems the only way to make new friends or even get a girlfriend in this day in age is by just having as much contact with people as you can.

As for shyness, i hear you bro. I myself can be shy too. I cant speak for everyone but I found when I wasnt socialising as much as i should I would become more shy. More I did, or more I met new people I wouldnt be shy. Personally I think "confidence" (the opposite of shyness) is something that needs to be topped up on a regular basis.

So lets think about hobbies and the stuff for a second
Is there anything you want to try/do? (Doing something like this would put you out there more to meet people)

arsenallegend

whatsamsn wrote: »

Sadly this happens to alot of people OP.
These are cliche words - because you've most probably heard them before - but it really is the only way. .... you make opportunites for yourself.

In other words spend more free time doing hobbies, like off the top of my head, kickboxing, or drama classes. But it could be anything. It pretty much seems the only way to make new friends or even get a girlfriend in this day in age is by just having as much contact with people as you can.

As for shyness, i hear you bro. I myself can be shy too. I cant speak for everyone but I found when I wasnt socialising as much as i should I would become more shy. More I did, or more I met new people I wouldnt be shy. Personally I think "confidence" (the opposite of shyness) is something that needs to be topped up on a regular basis.

So lets think about hobbies and the stuff for a second
Is there anything you want to try/do? (Doing something like this would put you out there more to meet people)

I'm really pinning my hopes on this PLC course and i'm hoping to step up to probably going to College after that of trying to make lifelong friendships. I'm worried that seen most often the course has 18 to 21 year olds and hanging out with a 30 something isn't really something( and i was in their shoes) they really want to do. I don't want come across clingy cause i've really isolated people on other courses i've done cause i wanted to be friends with them. I really tried on other courses to befriend people but they sadly aren't interested in getting to know fellow students seen as most live i Dublin so don't feel the need of doing so.

I'm doing film Film studies so Film,sports and music are my big hobbies. I really want to join groups but shyness really is a probelm in my life.

whatsamsn

Due to recession you will get people around 30 in this PLC thing or even if you go to college. But... as you say alot will be around 18-21. Thats why it will probably be hard to make friends. Different stages of life and all that.

Whats best for you is between now and september do new things. Its only the end of April. Thats still 5 months away. Its sad but all we really have is ourselves - so its up to ourselves to makes things better.

micdug

arsenallegend wrote: »

I'm really pinning my hopes on this PLC course and i'm hoping to step up to probably going to College after that of trying to make lifelong friendships. I'm worried that seen most often the course has 18 to 21 year olds and hanging out with a 30 something isn't really something( and i was in their shoes) they really want to do.

PLC = Post Leaving Cert Course. TBH I'm surprised you are allowed enrol. If friendship is what you are seeking, would you not think of attending a course with a more similar age profile? Far far more likely to make friends there.

arsenallegend

micdug wrote: »

PLC = Post Leaving Cert Course. TBH I'm surprised you are allowed enrol. If friendship is what you are seeking, would you not think of attending a course with a more similar age profile? Far far more likely to make friends there.

PLC courses are for any age. its a mix of all ages but every one i've done has had 90% between 18 to 21 maybe i've been unlucky plus i wouldn't want to do a course full of people in their 30's and upwards. I'm a bit young at heart and would like to mix with people younger then me.

Zaph

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