Paying for her Pill ??

Fukuyama

Looking for a few opinions on this one.

I never send the soldier into battle without his helmet and I'm ten times more comfertable when she has taken care of the battlefield on he end too - especially when in a long term relationship were getting my rocks off with my socks off will be a regular thing :cool:

Anyway, I'm kinda seeing this girl now who is short on cash (we're young - 18) I work and she doesnt.

If things go that far, I'm thinking about offering to pay for her monthly perscription for the pill as well as the initial meeting at the Well Woman Clinic.

Do many guys do this if their girl is short of $$$ keeping in mind this isnt a serious relationship - just in the early stages. It's just that I like a bit of sex when its almost 100% sure there wont be a kid 9 months later, ya know?

Would you shell out moula for a girl you only know a few weeks?

Herbal Deity

I'm kinda confused. If you're comfortable enough with someone to have sex with them, then surely you're comfortable enough to lend them money.

Like, what are your concerns here?

Fukuyama

I'm kinda confused. If you're comfortable enough with someone to have sex with them, then surely you're comfortable enough to lend them money.

Not a loan. Just pay for her pill so we're both safe. I dont know he long be we like one another and a relationship is forming. I'm just wondering is it the norm for a fella to buy her pill if she cant, especially when the relationship is new enough. It's not something couples will talk about in public as it concerns both money and their sex life...

Like, what are your concerns here?

Mostly a kid...

tigs2010

Hiya, i dont know what way it normally works but when we were younger and I was short on cash my now husband paid for my pill. €15 per month is not much to pay for the absolute certainty now is it?!

Herbal Deity

But like, if she wants to go on it, but can't afford it, and you can and would prefer that she be on it if you're to have sex, then surely the solution is obvious?

AFAIK a month of pills is like €15 or less, hardly breaking the bank...

Fukuyama

tigs2010 wrote: »

Hiya, i dont know what way it normally works but when we were younger and I was short on cash my now husband paid for my pill. €15 per month is not much to pay for the absolute certainty now is it?!

Yeah I suppose... E15 is cheaper than a kid

I'm just more so interested as to whether other blokes, particularly younger people do this????????. Just thought it seemed odd when I initially thought of the idea of me paying for it.... but theres no question if I'd do it or not - you gotta be safe

pwd

Do you know if she actually wants to take it?

It could be presumptious to offer, and might cause offence, if you don't know.

The pill might be very widely used and accepted, but it's still essentially eating a load of hormones to turn your genitals off.

There's not a chance I'd take the pill, if there was a male version.

Fukuyama

Herbal Deity wrote: »

But like, if she wants to go on it, but can't afford it, and you can and would prefer that she be on it if you're to have sex, then surely the solution is obvious?

AFAIK a month of pills is like €15 or less, hardly breaking the bank...

My question isnt about money... I'd have no problem myself buying it for her. I think some brands are as little as nine euro .... But its the norm for each partner to take responsibility on both of their ends as concerns contraception. SO I was just wondering if many fellas buy both the condoms and the pill

Fukuyama

pwd wrote: »

Do you know if she actually wants to take it?

It could be presumptious to offer, and might cause offence, if you don't know.

The pill might be very widely used and accepted, but it's still essentially eating a load of hormones to turn your genitals off.

There's not a chance I'd take the pill, if there was a male version.

I dont want to come accross as sexist or anything... but I think its the females responsibility to either take the pill (the most popular form of female contraception) or sort out some other form of protection on her end. And of course the male to ensure he buys good quality condoms and uses them right.

As for throwing hormones all over the place and turning off your reproductive organs etc... well I hear a human being growing inside of you does that job pretty well too

pwd

girls buy the pill
it's girl stuff
you wouldn't be actually buying it anyway; she'd be filling a prescription
you'd just be giving her the money for it.
and telling her -off you go, get a prescription for sex hormones.
Oh some of them can make boobs bigger. You should tell her to get those ones.

Nevyn

The oral contraceptive pill is not absolute certainty, it's far from 100%.
Also fair enough if she can go on the pill, some women can't it doesn't suit them you should still both get tested for STI before stopping using condoms.

All that aside if the only contraception a couple are using is the contraceptive pill I do think that it is considerate to offer to pay something towards the cost of it.

pwd

Dean0088 wrote: »

I dont want to come accross as sexist or anything... but I think its the females responsibility to either take the pill (the most popular form of female contraception) or sort out some other form of protection on her end. And of course the male to ensure he buys good quality condoms and uses them right.

As for throwing hormones all over the place and turning off your reproductive organs etc... well I hear a human being growing inside of you does that job pretty well too

You should be a pimp. I bet pimps think like you think.

Khannie

Thaedydal wrote: »

All that aside if the only contraception a couple are using is the contraceptive pill I do think that it is considerate to offer to pay something towards the cost of it.

Agreed.

How much does the pill cost? I can't remember (been a while since I've been paying for it at the pharmacy) but I don't remember it being too wallet scary. Edit: I see someone else mentioned 15 euro a month. Seems like good value to me. OP: I'd say fire ahead. Can't see any reason not to, unless it would upset your lady friend.

Fukuyama

Thaedydal wrote: »

The oral contraceptive pill is not absolute certainty, it's far from 100%.
Also fair enough if she can go on the pill, some women can't it doesn't suit them you should still both get tested for STI before stopping using condoms.

All that aside if the only contraception a couple are using is the contraceptive pill I do think that it is considerate to offer to pay something towards the cost of it.

We'd be using both. I like to know that I'm safe on my end so that if sh forgets to take it the odds of the condom breaking on exactly the day when she forgot etc... are slim...

keane2097

Dean0088 wrote: »

I never send the soldier into battle without his helmet and I'm ten times more comfertable when she has taken care of the battlefield on he end too - especially when in a long term relationship were getting my rocks off with my socks off will be a regular thing :cool:

Wait till you grow up imo

Fukuyama

pwd wrote: »

You should be a pimp. I bet pimps think like you think.

Could you expand on that?

Not really getting what you mean.... all I can figure is that pimps are converned about whether their gals are SAFE .... do pimps think liek that?

Zulu

Go anal: it costs nothing & it's 100% guaranteed not to result in a pregnancy.
Everyones a winner.

Boston

If you can share your bodies, you can share the cost of contraception.

Nevyn

Zulu wrote: »

Go anal: it costs nothing & it's 100% guaranteed not to result in a pregnancy.
Everyones a winner.

It's still possible, seepage can happen and those little swimming sperm can make their way along the crevasse and into the vuvla ova hunting.

Also if your going to pot the brown as they get condoms which are suitable for it, they are a lot less likely to break or tear.

Khannie wrote: »

Agreed.

How much does the pill cost? I can't remember (been a while since I've been paying for it at the pharmacy) but I don't remember it being too wallet scary. Edit: I see someone else mentioned 15 euro a month. Seems like good value to me. OP: I'd say fire ahead. Can't see any reason not to, unless it would upset your lady friend.

Brands of pill can range from 9 euro to 20 euro per month and then there is the drs fees as well. The patch is dearer, 22 to 26 per month but it has less chance of user error.

The ius is about 350 all in dr fees and prescription but it's thankfully 5 years
and as good as sterilization.

pwd

Dean0088 wrote: »

Could you expand on that?

Not really getting what you mean.... all I can figure is that pimps are converned about whether their gals are SAFE .... do pimps think liek that?

A half decent one does. You need to take care of your property and all.

To expand on it - You appear to be making the decision whether your girl begins taking sex hormones without any input from her herself. You don't seem aware of the possibility of her not wanting to, or else are completely indifferent to that possibility. You just think that's the way it should be.

Novella

OP, why don't you just say this to your girlfriend?! "I know you can't afford to go on The Pill, but if you would like to, I can pay for it." No biggie.

My Pill is only twelve euro for six months, great value.

I think it's important to remember though that contraception is not entirely up to the female. Yes, she can go on The Pill and you can pay for it but it'd probably be a good idea for you to use a condom too, especially in the beginning while she gets used to taking it. I know I sometimes forgot to take one because it just wasn't part of my routine.

Herbal Deity

pwd wrote: »

A half decent one does. You need to take care of your property and all.

To expand on it - You appear to be making the decision whether your girl begins taking sex hormones without any input from her herself. You don't seem aware of the possibility of her not wanting to, or else are completely indifferent to that possibility. You just think that's the way it should be.

In fairness, while he comes across as a little immature, I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions like that about him...

OP, I'll echo Novella above, talk to your gf about it. I don't really know why you're asking us, like why are you concerned about it being "odd"?

@Novella: he has implied (with childish euphemisms) that he wishes to wear condoms also.

pwd

meh I was only making fun; sounds more serious than it was meant because I explained it like that; which I only did because he didn't know what I was on about.

Novella

Herbal Deity wrote: »

@Novella: he has implied (with childish euphemisms) that he wishes to wear condoms also.

Whoops, missed that bit! :)

--LOS--

OP there's a lot a presumption here that your girlfriend would even want to go on the pill, it's not a decision to take lightly.

Khannie

Novella wrote: »

My Pill is only twelve euro for six months, great value.

God damn! That is good value.

vicecreamsundae

hi OP, i'd just like you to commend you for being responsible about contraception. if your girlfriend does want to go on the pill and you want to help her financially that's great.
as for your question, i don't think it's very common at all for guys to contribute to a woman's contraception in such early stages of a relationship, but think it gets a bit more common the further into the relationship you go -depending on the financial circumstances of both partners and the types of contraception being used.

while the pill itself is reasonably inexpensive [mine's about 12 bucks a month] bear in mind that going to a doctor to renew the prescription every six months can be pretty pricey at $50ish a pop and pap tests but ask at the family planning clinic if they offer discounted/free service seeing as your girlfriend is unemployed [and if she's at college she might have medical services on campus].

Zulu

Thaedydal wrote: »

It's still possible, seepage can happen and those little swimming sperm can make their way along the crevasse and into the vuvla ova hunting.

Bah! You've more chance getting struck trice in the right eye by lightning, surviving, then winning the lotto four weeks running.

Boston

Zulu, it's blindly apparent from your posts you've never engaged in anal sex. Not because of what Thaed said, but your attitude that anal sex is risk free.

Zulu

Relax. I wasn't being serious.

Boston

Oh, well maybe you shouldn't be giving out advice?

Michael B

We were only talking about this during the week. Up until now she's paid for the pill and never really said anything about it but after hearing how much it costs for her 6 month's prescription (around €150 every 6 months including doctor's fee) I felt I should pay half so I will from now on. Seems only fair really in a relationship.

--LOS--

Fair play to you.

Michael B

--LOS-- wrote: »

Fair play to you.

Thanks I just think it's the fair thing to do though. When she was single she didn't have to pay for the pill so she's only on it because she's in a relationship. I know she hates taking it as it is (necessary evil) so the least I can do is go halves on it with her, we're both in it together afterall.

Zulu

Boston wrote: »

Oh, well maybe you shouldn't be giving out advice?

Maybe you shouldn't?
I dunno if I'd call it 'advice'. Tell me, do you take everything you read here as serious?
Btw the above is rethorical.

opinion guy

Dean0088 wrote: »

I dont want to come accross as sexist or anything... but I think its the females responsibility to either take the pill (the most popular form of female contraception) or sort out some other form of protection on her end. And of course the male to ensure he buys good quality condoms and uses them right.

Jaysus you'd want to adjust that attitude lest you get yourself in troubles (of various sorts). You can't assume these things they need to be discussed with people.

As for throwing hormones all over the place and turning off your reproductive organs etc... well I hear a human being growing inside of you does that job pretty well too

And you'd also want to adjust that attitude. The pill is a medicine. A pretty powerful one at that. Hormones are pretty much some of the most potent chemicals in the body and have wide-ranging effects. No girl should go on the pill just cause her BF expects her too. It between her and her doctor if she wants to go on it or not after a proper consultation. It may not even be suitable for her - there are some reasons why a woman can't take it. And then if someone does take it there's side-effects and finding the right type of pill for herself. Its all a bit complicated.

So as to your question. You and her will, at the right time, need to discuss contraception. So you can express your concerns, but you can't expect her to go on the pill merely on what you think. Thats a decision between her and her doctor only. If she doesn't want to go on the pill then you'll have be careful and use condoms every time etc.

Boston

Zulu wrote: »

Maybe you shouldn't?
I dunno if I'd call it 'advice'. Tell me, do you take everything you read here as serious?
Btw the above is rethorical.

:rolleyes:

StinkySocs

OP! Fair play to you. I think that's completely the right attitude to take.
It's not like you've booked her in for an appointment. When the time is right the two of ye will talk about it. If she doesn't want to take the pill there are a number of other options, that the doc can advise on.

The rest of ye: get off his back, he's doing a really grown up thing and wants advice not grief of ye lot.
It's sounds like he knows the in's and out's and he's not stupid.

sam34

boston and zulu, drop it please, or take it to pm

stop derailing this thread

Orla K

If she's not working shouldn't she be able to get a medical card?

Herbal Deity

I assume they're students if they're 18, and are perhaps not financially independent of their parents, which would make them ineligible.

Orla K

Herbal Deity wrote: »

I assume they're students if they're 18, and are perhaps not financially independent of their parents, which would make them ineligible.

Bit off topic now but if there over 18 there parents earnings mightn't come into it at all. I can't remember the form if parent stuff needed to be filled out or not but it's worth a look.

Herbal Deity

I doubt it. Being 18 doesn't make a difference to your financial dependence. If she's not working and is living at home, I don't think there's much chance.

Like, the earnings of your parents are hugely relevant to getting college grants and the likes, irrespective of whether you're over 18.

shellyboo

Your parents' earnings come into it right up until you're 23 as far as social welfare/grants are concerned, especially if they're students.

I think the OP is being both responsible and thoughful and I have no idea why everyone's being so hostile to him. He's not talking about slipping the pill into her breakfast, he's going to *offer* to pay *if* she wants him to. Which is extremely decent of him.

Just do bear in mind op that some women can't take hormonal contraception, it messes with their bodies too much. If that's the case, you'll need to have a talk about how to make sex safer for you both; perhaps combining condoms with a diaphragm or the withdrawal method.

eth0_

Dean0088 wrote: »

Anyway, I'm kinda seeing this girl now who is short on cash (we're young - 18) I work and she doesnt.

If she's unemployed then she should be eligible for a medical card and then she can get the pill for free.

Dean0088 wrote: »

Would you shell out moula for a girl you only know a few weeks?

So, you've known her for just a few weeks, and are fine with shagging her without a condom so long as she doesn't get pregnant? Never mind if she or you have any STD's? :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

shellyboo

eth0_ wrote: »

So, you've known her for just a few weeks, and are fine with shagging her without a condom so long as she doesn't get pregnant? Never mind if she or you have any STD's? :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

You need to re-read the OP. He uses condoms.

opinion guy

shellyboo wrote: »

You need to re-read the OP. He uses condoms.

U both need to reread the OP. They are not having sex yet. Shelly I think this is why people are being a bit harsh with the OP (this and his cavalier attitude towards side-effects given that he is not the one that will be taking them). Offering to pay for someones pill before you've started sleeping together is a bit presumptuous on several levels is it not ?

sam34

opinion guy wrote: »

U both need to reread the OP. They are not having sex yet. Shelly I think this is why people are being a bit harsh with the OP (this and his cavalier attitude towards side-effects given that he is not the one that will be taking them). Offering to pay for someones pill before you've started sleeping together is a bit presumptuous on several levels is it not ?

no, i would think it is proactive and sensible

he's seeing this girl, its not unreasonable to assume that they will at some stage be having sex

planning for that, and making sure he is responsible about it is just that..responsible

it means there'll be one less " i slept with my b/f for teh first time, he pulled out but i think he might have come abit inside me could i be pregnant" thread on PI

if he was coming on here saying "i'm gonna nail the g/f this wkend, she cant afford the pill but thats not my problem" he'd be slated, deservedly so

he's just being sensible and prepared

if she wants to go on teh pill, but cant due to financial reasons, he'll pay for it

no big deal

opinion guy

sam34 wrote: »

no, i would think it is proactive and sensible

he's seeing this girl, its not unreasonable to assume that they will at some stage be having sex

planning for that, and making sure he is responsible about it is just that..responsible

it means there'll be one less " i slept with my b/f for teh first time, he pulled out but i think he might have come abit inside me could i be pregnant" thread on PI

if he was coming on here saying "i'm gonna nail the g/f this wkend, she cant afford the pill but thats not my problem" he'd be slated, deservedly so

he's just being sensible and prepared

if she wants to go on teh pill, but cant due to financial reasons, he'll pay for it

no big deal

Dear Lord. Ok you need to re-read the OP and all.
Here I'll help:

Dean0088 wrote: »

Looking for a few opinions on this one.

I never send the soldier into battle without his helmet and I'm ten times more comfertable when she has taken care of the battlefield on he end too - especially when in a long term relationship were getting my rocks off with my socks off will be a regular thing :cool:

Anyway, I'm kinda seeing this girl now who is short on cash (we're young - 18) I work and she doesnt.

If things go that far, I'm thinking about offering to pay for her monthly perscription for the pill as well as the initial meeting at the Well Woman Clinic.

Do many guys do this if their girl is short of $$$ keeping in mind this isnt a serious relationship - just in the early stages. It's just that I like a bit of sex when its almost 100% sure there wont be a kid 9 months later, ya know?

Would you shell out moula for a girl you only know a few weeks?

You'll have to forgive the shouting I added, but it seems like people have wool in their ears on this thread. The OP IS NOT talking about having unprotected sex. He says he always uses a condom. Good for you OP. He is talking about now also expecting his GF to go on the pill, principly because he expects her too.

Now don't get me wrong. It is good and safe practice to use both condoms and the pill to be absolutely sure against pregnancy. But as for going on the pill, this decision is ENTIRELY a medical decision to be taken by the girl given the risks and side-effects of the pill, as well as contraception reasons as advised by her GP. (sam34 for all you know his GF is a chainsmoker with a family history of thrombophilic disorders. Or perhaps she was previosuly on the pill and had side-effects).

Absolutely, absolutely the OP needs to discuss the issue with his girlfriend. But to EXPECT her to go on the pill becuase he wants her to, when he hasn't even discused it with her yet, paticularly given his obvious ignorance of the potential problems with the pill is, simply put, inappropriate. Particularly since he said this:

Do many guys do this if their girl is short of $$$ keeping in mind this isnt a serious relationship - just in the early stages

OK right.

Op here is what you need to do. If and when you get to the point of sex with this girl, you need to bring up the topic of contraception. Ask her has she thought about the pill (don't tell her you expect her to take it - ask her her own opinion on it). Now by all means express your concerns and you are perfectly entitled to say 'if you won't go on the pill then I won't have sex with you'. But if she does decide that then you have to accept it. Now IF she thinks the pill is a good idea but feels she can't afford it - THEN you can offer to help cover the costs.

OP its not that your intentions are wrong. You are being careful and that is to be commended. Its more a question of a time and a place. And remember two things - 1. the pill is not infallible. 2. Don't ever take risks you are not comfortable with -even if that means saying no to sex (yes men can say no too!)

--LOS--

<snip>

sam34

LOS, the first quote in your post above isnt from the OP!