What was the worst excuse you used to break up with someone?

arsenallegend

So have you guys ever used a excuse to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend cause you didn't want to be with them . And has it ever come back and bit you on the backside

SRFC90

"You're too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the same age? Well, that doesn't work for me, either. Sorry."

arsenallegend

I said i was joining the army and would be gone for a few years

ottostreet

i pretended to get a phone call from my dad, claiming that my mother had had a heart attack and i was to come home immediately. wasn't going out with the girl, i just went on 'a date', and her pics were...flattering.

every time she texted me to meet up afterwards, i claimed i had to look after my mother..

OutlawPete

When I was 14 I broke it off with a girl cause she wouldn't french kiss.

So I told her that, I wasn't allowed to be friends with anyone from her estate anymore

We got back together though as I heard she french kissed a guy at the Scout Den disco and rumour had it, she used tongues.

The rumours were correct and now we have two kids and a mortgage.

Just kidding on the last bit.

Karl Hungus

Crocodiles bit off my face.

old hippy

I don't think I ever lied to them, I'm not a coward. But I could have been nicer to one or two of them, that's for sure.

Snowie

its not you its me.......

Or even beeter i dont like the way you wriggle around when we have sex I want you to lie there and think of england...

RobbieTheRobber

Im just going to get a pint of milk!



Then never come back, or if you do bring a pint of milk!

IvyTheTerrible

arsenallegend wrote: »

So have you guys ever used a excuse to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend cause you didn't want to be with them . And has it ever come back and bit you on the backside

Have you?

arsenallegend

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Have you?

yep look above you

xzanti

ottostreet wrote: »

i pretended to get a phone call from my dad, claiming that my mother had had a heart attack and i was to come home immediately. wasn't going out with the girl, i just went on 'a date', and her pics were...flattering.

every time she texted me to meet up afterwards, i claimed i had to look after my mother..

There's a special corner in Hell reserved for you

GLaDOS

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Crocodiles bit off my face.

P.S. I am gay

arsenallegend

i used i'm gay a few times but somehow they try to get me set up with their gay friends:eek:

drunkymonkey

It's not me it's you!

IvyTheTerrible

arsenallegend wrote: »

yep look above you

Apologies, didn't see!

ScumLord

It's too dangerous, my enemy's may use you against me and I can't risk that. Now I must go back to the ocean. Aquaman away!

*Jumps off bridge*

arsenallegend

ScumLord wrote: »

It's too dangerous, my enemy's may use you against me and I can't risk that. Now I must go back to the ocean. Aquaman away!

*Jumps off bridge*

did she jump in after you:p

homerun_homer

Dumped someone for being a vegetarian once last year.

ScumLord

arsenallegend wrote: »

did she jump in after you:p

Ya, I should have used a different superhero I think she was from the ocean herself. But there was a bridge there and it just seemed like the easiest option. We're now married 6 years and have 2 tadpoles and a herring together.

xzanti

homerun_homer wrote: »

Dumped someone for being a vegetarian once last year.

Cause she was a vegetarian or cause she wouldn't 'eat meat'? :pac:

arsenallegend

ScumLord wrote: »

Ya, I should have used a different superhero I think she was from the ocean herself. But there was a bridge there and it just seemed like the easiest option. We're now married 6 years and have 2 tadpoles and a herring together.

Sounds very fishy:p

Sirsok

i was texting a girl for awhile, everything going really well till will ferrell came up in conversation, then it happened 'whoes will ferrell ha?' is what she said........never text her since

cloneslad

was going with a girl for about 2 months during second year in college, then at the end of March I broke up with her cos I couldn't be arsed with a relationship and I just wanted to be a manwhore so I told her I liked her too much to become anymore involved with her as it would be too hard for me to be apart from her over the summer.


She did ask me to stay around over summer (also told me she loved me) but I told her I couldn't leave my dad in the house on his own all over summer......Queue the relationship I started the following year which led to me staying there for the next 3 years and only going home every 4 or 5 months for a few days!!

Stephentlig

Honesty is the best Policy, just tell them the reason and be done with it.excuses are for cowards man.

m@cc@

"You said you were 14"

ToxicPaddy

drunkymonkey wrote: »

It's not me it's you!

Used that one too.. announced I wanted to finish it, but I was a bit hestiant when asked why and she said sarcastically, "let me guess its not me its you, right!!"

To which I replied, "Nope, its definitely you.. always has been you.. always will be you.. "

She didnt take it too well..

Not really an excuse, more so the bitter truth!!

Tox

happyfriday

'I really like you as a friend and I'm afraid if we continue to see each other that our friendship will be ruined' and of course we never spoke again. And the old favourite 'I just don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship right now' :rolleyes: Both were true but really crap excuses really!!

jimoc

Or the classic :

'The infection hasn't cleared up yet and I'd hate to pass it on to you'

Wazdakka

Guys...
You don't need to go through all the pain, stress and lying of breaking up with someone.

Just get them to break up with you instead.
It's simples..

When the two of you are having sexy time, get behind her in the doggy position, grab on tight, then lean down and whisper in her ear......
"Oooh you feel just like your sister.."

Firstly... provided you can keep your grip, thats gonna be some epic sex..

Secondly... She is so dumping your ass after that*.. So problem solved



*If she doesn't dump you.... Giggidy...

homerun_homer

"I'm emotionally unavailable and not ready to start a relationship".

She didn't stop bitching about me for the next 2 years after that.

NothingMan

Broke up with a girl only to hook up with her at a party a week later. Ended up back together. 2 weeks later breaking up with her yet again, her screaming her head off at me at central bank while I just sat there head down until she stopped screaming and left. I don't remember what line I used but I don't recommend it.

NothingMan

Wazdakka wrote: »

When the two of you are having sexy time, get behind her in the doggy position, grab on tight, then lean down and whisper in her ear......
"Oooh you feel just like your sister.."

Firstly... provided you can keep your grip, thats gonna be some epic sex.

Ah the Bucking Bronco. A classic, yet dangerous manouvre.

Wazdakka

NothingMan wrote: »

Ah the Bucking Bronco. A classic, yet dangerous manouvre.

Indeed...
The African Rodeo is an even more extreme version.

veryangryman

The truth is usually the worst excuse in my opinion.

That DOES come back and bite you on the ass.

If your sick of someone, just "dissapear" from their radar. Dont pick up phone or acknowledge them in the street

Kasabian

I broke up with a girl many years ago because she got her hair cut in a bob style.

It was the final straw

bently

Wazdakka wrote: »

Indeed...
The African Rodeo is an even more extreme version.

Wat dis is....?????

Stephentlig

homerun_homer wrote: »

"I'm emotionally unavailable and not ready to start a relationship".

She didn't stop bitching about me for the next 2 years after that.

Why should you care? I wouldnt not that I'm claiming to be any better of a person than you for it.

xsiborg

ohhh, going back about 15 years when i was 18, told the girl i was a raging alcoholic with severe mental issues... :rolleyes:

bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy that one!

arsenallegend

Told a girl i had sex with her older sister:D
those were the days

force majeure

xsiborg wrote: »

ohhh, going back about 15 years when i was 18, told the girl i was a raging alcoholic with severe mental issues... :rolleyes:

bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy that one!

being with any one since...:cool:

1071823928

I was so mean when I was younger, and I once told a guy I was absolutely sick of him and sick of seeing him all the time and he was doing my head in!! we stayed friends though for a while after!!

AckwelFoley

When i was in college i told a girlfriend i was breaking up with her because i was pregnant.

It worked.. she was blond and studying Arts.

D-Generate

I know someone who texted "Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you" ala The Simpsons and it sure as hell worked.... but we were only 16.

I usually just use the excuse of "Although what we have going on is good, it just doesn't have everything I want in a relationship and as such we need to break up."
It always works! Only time it has backfired on me has been when I said that to a girl and as I was walking back from hers I texted my buddy "Yup, broke up no problem. T'was grand for me, she was crying a lot though! Time for beers?". Alas I was so used to typing in her name when texting that my muscle memory sent it to her and not my friend.

Ever since then, when I break up with someone I always edit my phonebook so as to stick a Z in front of their name or on the rare occasion where I dated someone who's name began with a Z, I stuck a Q as the first letter.

eightyfish

"It's not my fault it took so long for you to introduce me to your sister."

ScumLord

hanner wrote: »

I was so mean when I was younger, and I once told a guy I was absolutely sick of him and sick of seeing him all the time and he was doing my head in!! we stayed friends though for a while after!!

What a bitch. Him I mean not you.

tempura

Is anyone seeing a link between this and the " Are Irish women picky " thread ?

Cheeky_gal

Haha I can't stand rock music! And a guy I was seeing was mad into Metalica n all so I told him we weren't compatible..

Me: I'm sorry but I can't stand rock music and that whole black wearing, metal boots thing
Him: But I don't wear black or metal boots
Me: I know but your music reminds me of that and it just gives me the shivers, I'm sorry
Him: Wtf?

We're friends now though but I received abusive messages for weeks!

kfallon

It's you, it's defo not me

PeterIanStaker

This happended to a guy I know not me but its good/bad

as told by bitter drunk-

He and his ex were going through a bad patch arguing etc, then his granddad died, so obviously he has to go off to the removal, funeral all that stuff, apparently he got dumped for not keeping in touch enough for those few days. Its a funeral for f*ck sake. F*ckin stupid cow, he dodged that bullet in the long term.

jackiebaron

OutlawPete wrote: »

When I was 14 I broke it off with a girl cause she wouldn't french kiss.

So I told her that, I wasn't allowed to be friends with anyone from her estate anymore

We got back together though as I heard she french kissed a guy at the Scout Den disco and rumour had it, she used tongues.

The rumours were correct and now we have two kids and a mortgage.

Just kidding on the last bit.

Pair of you couldn't get the mortgage then? :pac: