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Feelings for my partner.

  • 21-04-2010 10:35am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am a bit worried I am using my boyfriend. He is crazy about me and tells me all the time how much he loves me. He is very into our relationship and treats me extremely well. I love him but I think if it ended I would be more upset about not being in a relationship that the fact I was no longer with him.
    We want the same things from life. I really want a family and a nice house-the suburban lifestyle I guess-and I know I'll have this with him. I feel like I am in too deep to do anything now, we are looking at houses and his friends keep joking about when we'll have the big day. The other evening he said he had a surprise for me and went off to get it-honestly I was dreading it would be a ring but I know if he did propose I would have to say yes because I would break his heart otherwise.
    Is it ok to be with someone to have the kind of life you want if he wants the same? Should I have stronger feelings than I do for a man I'll be spending my life with? I wonder if I am over analysing things because this relationship is the best I've ever had, in many ways, and I think we could make a very nice life together, even if my feeling are not earth shattering.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    if your feeling like that i think it just means your not ready at the moment and your terified of comitment
    just take it slow and see how you feel in a few months enjoy every day as it comes
    i think so many people think too much of the future instead of living in the now
    he sounds lovely just try thinking positive keep busy and keep smiling


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    smaaa wrote: »
    if your feeling like that i think it just means your not ready at the moment and your terified of comitment
    don't agree, seems to me there is no sexual spark and passion


  • #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    It's really for you decide what you want from life. Do you want an earth-shattering relationship? Or is the prospect of being on your own looking for such a relationship so terrifying that you are prepared to settle for mediocre? Do you really want to settle down with a man you only agreed to marry so as not to hurt his feelings? One that the very thought of him proposing envokes a feeling of dread?

    I think your choice of language in your post answers your question.

    Best of luck. :cool:


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It's tricky init?

    I guess most people experience at least once in their life (but probably not much more often than that, maybe twice) that all-out love that is so big that everything else is just secondary. The one that rules your thoughts and your feelings 24/7 for good and for bad. The one where you say who cares if I have to live off making rice cakes in Papua-NewGuinea as long as I am with her I'll be happy out. The big one.

    But even this big one - is it still this big after 5 years? After 10 years? Probably not.

    It's tough enough to retain little somethings from that big spark through the years. So when there wasn't one to begin with what do you draw from after 10 years when you get bogged down into groundhog-day like suburbian monotony?


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