"I was raped by a whale"

m@cc@

http://www.news.com.au/weird-true-freaky/serial-hoaxer-daniel-hammond-claimed-he-was-raped-by-whale/story-e6frflri-1225854068829

A BRAZEN prankster claimed he was raped by a whale and gave his name as Ben Dover during one of many hoax calls to the emergency services.
Daniel Hammond made nuisance calls for eight months, telling busy emergency operators he lived in Doctor Who's TARDIS.
On one occasion, he reported that his manhood fell off because he smoked too much weed and was struggling to have sex.
Another time, the lanky 21-year-old impersonated Saddam Hussein and claimed he hid a bomb on a train, a court in Sevenoaks, England, was told.
Prosecutor James Nichols said Hammond enjoyed the thrill of wasting the emergency services' time with his bizarre and persistent tales.
The court was told that Hammond was caught when he called to report threats he claimed he was receiving, and police recognised his mobile phone number.
When Hammond was finally arrested, he said he "couldn't remember" all of the disturbing details of the calls but admitted the offenses.
Defense lawyer Laura Hollingham said her client's behavior was a result of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
The court was also told that Hammond suffered from depression and that his family was struggling to cope with his "many problems".

So have any of yous made any prank calls? I remember as kid making prank calls to Childline from a phone box. Granted, it seems wrong now but at the time it was the funniest thing in the world.

kwestfan08

* Gratuitous free willy joke *

The_Kew_Tour

And there was me feeling sorry for you before I opened the thread

Xluna

The little scumbag should be thrown in prison. These services are for people who's lives are in danger.

m@cc@

Xluna wrote: »

The little scumbag should be thrown in prison. These services are for people who's lives are in danger.

The lawyer mentioned that he had ADHD so you'd hope there was a doctor's cert confirming this. I would love to have been on the other end asking him to verify his story though I guess that would mean tieing up the lines for a real emergency.

RMD

Caller: You've got to help me, I've just been raped by a whale!!!
Responder: A whale?????.................teh fúck?

m@cc@

RMD wrote: »

Caller: You've got to help me, I've just been raped by a whale!!!
Responder: A whale?????.................teh fúck?

If it was a sperm whale, it would explain a lot. Them things would roide anything.

spurious

In many cases, what people like to excuse as 'ADHD' is just 'BOLD'.

Saint_Mel

Yep, put a stop to him now ... it'll be like the boy who cried wolf ... after so many hoax calls he might eventually get raped by a whale and nobody will believe him!

stovelid

Just apply like-and-like punishment with a full-sized Blue Whale dildo.

WindSock

spurious wrote: »

In many cases, what people like to excuse as 'ADHD' is just 'BOLD'.

True, it's such a cop out of an excuse sometimes. People 'with' ADHD still have a conscience.

orourkeda

Oddly, a whales mickey is called a dork. In this case this is very appropriate

NothingMan

I was having an arguement with my friends over whether 999 still worked or were we only 112 now. My arguement was you can use either, but because we watch so much American media 911 would probably work too. So I gave 911 a quick buzz. It worked, I hung up immediately and even at that I felt kinda bad for wasting time.
At least he entertained them with amusing whale stories and didn't just rudely hang up on them like me.

Bonito

Wasting emergency services time and resources! The little prick should be strung out and hung by his bojangles! :mad:

AnonoBoy

I'm all for prank phonecalls - the Tesco is Cheaper one is great:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk9SOrtsEDA

However, pranking the emergency services is incredibly incredibly stupid.

Morlar

He reminds me of george michael from arrested development ringing his dad at work after listening to the jerky boys. It's the lameness of his 'pranks' that are funny.

baalthor

Disgraceful!
An innocent whale could have had his life ruined by a false rape accussation...
As if things weren't bad enough with the Japanese trying to eat you :-D

ya-ba-da-ba-doo

He's 21, a bit of cop on wouldn't go astray. ADHD or no ADHD he's wasting people's time, money and putting genuine emergencies at risk.

A few months in jail and he'll probably know what being raped by a whale is like!

Capt'n Midnight

Did he have a whale of a time ?



People who make prank calls to the emergency services should be introduced to members of the emergency services in an environment with no recording devices present.

m@cc@

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Did he have a whale of a time ?

According to the lawyer, he just flipped.

DazMarz

I've been told I'm a master at prank calls; the ability to do varied accents and the ability to avoid laughing at inopportune moments helps an awful lot.
Pranks I've done in the past:

-The increasingly irate Indian takeaway delivery driver; "You will like my spicy sauce, it is delicious"

-Pretending to be a Garda and ringing a friend who was having a session saying that he was on a warning to keep the noise down (turns out they bought it and the session died a death; I was nearly killed over that one)

-Ringing up a mate's mother and pretending to be from a new Dublin rock and metal radio station and that they had won VIP passes and tickets to see Slipknot in concert and that a limo would pick them up etc. (Again, this was bought, apparently and I was nearly killed when the truth was discovered)

-Pretending to be an Australian immigration officer and winding up a friend that his visa to enter Australia had been suspended.

-The STI Clinic doctor calling looking for<insert friend's name>... oh the joy of that one!!!


And so on... I do these way too much and I'm asking to get my head knocked in...

tony1kenobi

I'm sure I've posted this before but for your pleasure:

My ex phoned one of the live TV psychics and when she got through the psychic asked "what's your name love?".....to which my ex replied "oh you're sh*t at this aren't you.".....and hung up

Another one......same girl called Dominos in Tullamore and asked "Will you deliver to Clara?".....guy said yea.....so she asks"will you go to burger king and drop me out a Big King meal?"...

....it's funny now.....but that lady is a drunk and a mentallist.

m@cc@

tony1kenobi wrote: »

Another one......same girl called Dominos in Tullamore and asked "Will you deliver to Clara?".....guy said yea.....so she asks"will you go to burger king and drop me out a Big King meal?"...

....it's funny now.....but that lady is a drunk and a mentallist.

Reminds me of some prank calls on Scott Mills radio show:

'Do you deliver?'
'Yes, we deliver'
Ok, can I have a pizza with liver and pineapple?'
'We don't do liver on a pizza'
'But you said you deliver?'


'Do you do takeaway?'
'Of course we do takeaway'
'OK, what's 12 minus 5?'

Midnight_EG

Xluna wrote: »

The little scumbag should be thrown in prison. These services are for people who's lives are in danger.

The dude was being raped by a whale, can't you see the fucking danger in that? :eek:







I wonder was it a sperm whale?




























:pac:

m@cc@

m@cc@ wrote: »

If it was a sperm whale, it would explain a lot. Them things would roide anything.

Midnight_EG wrote: »

I wonder was it a sperm whale?

:pac:

FearDark

Prank calls = good.

Prank calls to emergency services = retarded.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

FearDark wrote: »

Prank calls = good.

Prank calls to emergency services = retarded.

It is
I did it when I was around 10, and said nothing, just hung up. My aul man worked in a bank at the time. When the gardai arrived at the house no one was amused...

starbelgrade

Being raped by a whale is one thing, but being aped by a whale is just pure embarrasing.

FearDark

starbelgrade wrote: »

Being raped by a whale is one thing, but being aped by a whale is just pure embarrasing.

Couldnt agree with you more, being aped is no matter to be monkeyed around with.

seanybiker

Bit of a plonker. Used to ring childline and coca cola meself.

FearDark

Was mad into ringing BT in England, until they changed it from an 1800 to an 1850 number, they were getting too many prank calls apparently

epgc3fyqirnbsx

There was some joke text doing the rounds a while back
It said to ring this number for free credit or something like that, and it was a freephone number, but it connected to a penile erectal dysfunction helpline or something.
Well the thing about free numbers is that the receivers actually have to pay for the calls.
This helpline received so many calls it went bust


I rang childline once, didn't have anything to say and I told yer man that I was probably wasting his time. He said thats what they were there for, dont be afraid to ring for a chat, just dont hang up. He said feel free to ring and 'shoot the ****' which was the coolest phrase I ever heard at the time. Nice fella, we used to ring for chats for a while after that

MaybeLogic

Lewis Deafening Voice wrote: »

It said to ring this number for free credit or something like that, and it was a freephone number, but it connected to a penile erectal dysfunction helpline or something.
Well the thing about free numbers is that the receivers actually have to pay for the calls.
This helpline received so many calls it went bust

That joke turned out to be a flop, then.