When kids embarass their parents - LOL

Pacing Mule

What's the funniest innocent comment from a kid you've heard that left a parent mortified.

Mine ...

So I'm in the changing room at the swimming pool. It's been a busy session and the changing room is fairly full. All of a sudden little kid with his dad pipes up with "Daddy - Why's your willy short and fat ?" At least 20 men in the room immediately and instinctively check out the poor fellas c0ck to see if the kid is accurate. "It just is right" says the dad whilst desperately trying to get a towel around him. The embarassment on his face was priceless.

The_Kew_Tour

Saw a kid pick up packet of condoms in Boots in Jervis shopping centre just before christmas when needless to say there was plenty people who witnessed it kid puts it into the basket which the mother had. The mother was well red faced and then trying cooly place them back on shelf.

PK2008

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

So I'm in the changing room at the swimming pool. It's been a busy session and the changing room is fairly full. All of a sudden little kid with his dad pipes up with "Daddy - Why's your willy short and fat ?" At least 20 men in the room immediately and instinctively check out the poor fellas c0ck to see if the kid is accurate. "It just is right" says the dad whilst desperately trying to get a towel around him. The embarassment on his face was priceless.

Theres something a bit 'wrong' with that story

Pacing Mule

PK2008 wrote: »

Theres something a bit 'wrong' with that story

Please elaborate

PK2008

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Please elaborate

Im not a big fan of swimming

phasers

All the men turned around to look at this fellas cock?

Joey the lips

I once asked my dad in mass what a cnut was...He asked who told you that word...Trying to show that I did not learn it from the family.... I turned and said "You said that cnut takes ages to say mass"

Pacing Mule

phasers wrote: »

All the men turned around to look at this fellas cock?

Pretty much - instinctive turn to see where voice is coming from - young kid pointing in the general direction ( fans of the pun can creatively use "direction" I'm sure ) of it. It's like that scene in Roxanne when he didn't want to look at the big nose but had to.

landsleaving

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Pretty much - instinctive turn to see where voice is coming from - young kid pointing in the general election ( fans of the pun can creatively use "direction" I'm sure ) of it. It's like that scene in Roxanne when he didn't want to look at the big nose but had to.

Is that what you mean?

alwaysadub

I was on the bus into Croke Park,which was packed, with my nephew-who was about 8 at the time-and there was a ad with something to do with a nipple in the title(Don't ask)

So,at the top of his voice,he asks me"What's a nipple?"
Told him to go home and ask his mother-didn't work.
So had to explain it all to him,resulting in numerous embarrassing questions and him lifting up his t shirt trying to see his.

All the lads on the bus were pissing themselves laughing at him,and me.

Pacing Mule

landsleaving wrote: »

Is that what you mean?

Like I said fans of the pun can have themselves a field day ...

minidazzler

adrian280582 wrote: »

Saw a kid pick up packet of condoms in Boots in Jervis shopping centre just before christmas when needless to say there was plenty people who witnessed it kid puts it into the basket which the mother had. The mother was well red faced and then trying cooly place them back on shelf.

If she had been as smart as the kid she wouldn't have had that situation!

Son Of A Vidic

phasers wrote: »

All the men turned around to look at this fellas cock?

That's the only 'wrong' part of the story, surely most lads instinct would be to look at the ceiling, look at their watch, look at the wonderful tiling on the floor, anywhere but 'there.'

pikachucheeks

I was watching TV with my aunt and nine year old cousin one afternoon when my cousin turned to me and said "Mummy farted really loudly in here earlier. It stank the whole house out!" :pac:

My aunt was incredibly embarrassed, warned my cousin to not tell anyone else and explained that it was a private matter.

Fast forward a few hours, guests (relatives) had arrived and we were all sitting around the table, having a late Sunday lunch. Room goes silent and my cousin shouts "You'll never guess what my mummy did earlier-" My uncle jumped in and silenced her before she had a chance to finish her sentence, but my poor aunt went crimson!

mikom

TBH...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9eL3ejXmE

RMD

On the bus into town last year for some christmas shopping some girl, no more than 8-9 hops onto the bus with her mom. They go down the back of the bus sit behind me and the conversation begins.......

Girl: Ma, what's a ****???
Mom: what? where'd you hear that, it's something boys get chicken
Girl: Why can't girls get it ma
Mom: I don't know, it's just something only boys can get
Girl: Ma I want a ****
Mom: no, you can't have one, now stop saying that word
Girl: But ma I...... (mom interrupts)
Mom: Look I said you can't get one now leave it
Girl: MA I WANT A **** FOR CHRISTMAS (Screams at the top of her voice)

Her mom had nothing to say to that, the girl didn't even have a clue what she had just said really.

minidazzler

RMD wrote: »

On the bus into town last year for some christmas shopping some girl, no more than 8-9 hops onto the bus with her mom. They go down the back of the bus sit behind me and the conversation begins.......

Girl: Ma, what's a ****???
Mom: what? where'd you hear that, it's something boys get chicken
Girl: Why can't girls get it ma
Mom: I don't know, it's just something only boys can get
Girl: Ma I want a ****
Mom: no, you can't have one, now stop saying that word
Girl: But ma I...... (mom interrupts)
Mom: Look I said you can't get one now leave it
Girl: MA I WANT A **** FOR CHRISTMAS (Screams at the top of her voice)

Her mom had nothing to say to that, the girl didn't even have a clue what she had just said really.

Oddly enough I want the same thing for my Bday....and every other occasion!!

Shivers26

Well another swimming pool one - I take my 3 year old swimming most weeks and they have these family changing cubicles and my little angel always yells out 'I can see your boobies'

I was out shopping with him last week and he picked out a teddy in one shop so I got it for him and the girl in the shop put it into the bag with the other stuff I bought. He didn't look for it til we were in another shop so I gave it to him and he repeated over and over again 'you didn't pay for this mammy, you didn't pay'

A few years back my OH took the older lad (he was about 6 at the time) into the toilets in a shopping centre and while they were doing the necessary my son blurts out 'oh my god, your willy is huge'. I'd say OH was pretty chuffed rather than embarrassed about that one.

mfceiling

Couple of years ago i'm returning a jumper i got for xmas back to BT2's in the dundrum shopping centre.
I'm on my own and even though i'm in my mid 30's i'm trying to look cool and hip to the achingly gorgeous 19-20 year old girl at the till.
I ask her for a credit note as i hand her the bag - usual "have you the receipt"
"Yeah it's in the bag"

She opens the bag, takes out the jumper, the receipt, a nappy (clean thank fcuk), a small doll and a crayon.

Every fibre of my body cringed as she handed them back to me!!:o

bluto63

mfceiling wrote: »

Couple of years ago i'm returning a jumper i got for xmas back to BT2's in the dundrum shopping centre.
I'm on my own and even though i'm in my mid 30's i'm trying to look cool and hip to the achingly gorgeous 19-20 year old girl at the till.
I ask her for a credit note as i hand her the bag - usual "have you the receipt"
"Yeah it's in the bag"

She opens the bag, takes out the jumper, the receipt, a nappy (clean thank fcuk), a small doll and a crayon.

Every fibre of my body cringed as she handed them back to me!!:o

If it were clean, I don't see how that's an embarrassing story, or a story at all in fact

Pacing Mule

bluto63 wrote: »

If it were clean, I don't see how that's an embarrassing story, or a story at all in fact

I think he shyly left out / his missus is on boards.ie so he left out ...

mfceiling wrote: »

Couple of years ago i'm returning a jumper i got for xmas back to BT2's in the dundrum shopping centre.
I'm on my own and even though i'm in my mid 30's i'm trying to look cool and hip to the achingly gorgeous 19-20 year old girl at the till.
I've made a number of cheesy chat up attempts and asked for her number.
I ask her for a credit note as i hand her the bag - usual "have you the receipt"
"Yeah it's in the bag"

She opens the bag, takes out the jumper, the receipt, a nappy (clean thank fcuk), a small doll and a crayon.

Every fibre of my body cringed as she handed them back to me!!:o

neil_18_

The first time my brother saw an african man in dublin. It was on a train. He had never seen a person being a different colour in his life.

He pointed and very loudly and said.
"Daddy whats that?".

My parents were really embarresed for the whole journey.:o

The man took it in good humour though and laughed it off though!:P

I hope this doesnt offend anybody, he was only around 5! Pretty innocent!

mfceiling

bluto63 wrote: »

If it were clean, I don't see how that's an embarrassing story, or a story at all in fact

Yeah you're right....it's not slightly embarrasing when a gorgeous girl hands you a nappy, a crayon and a child's doll when you are trying to return a jumper........pity we all can't be so cool to shrug it off..............probably would have been a better story if the nappy was full of shít and had leaked through the bag:rolleyes:

admiralofthefleet

RMD wrote: »

On the bus into town last year for some christmas shopping some girl, no more than 8-9 hops onto the bus with her mom. They go down the back of the bus sit behind me and the conversation begins.......

Girl: Ma, what's a ****???
Mom: what? where'd you hear that, it's something boys get chicken
Girl: Why can't girls get it ma
Mom: I don't know, it's just something only boys can get
Girl: Ma I want a ****
Mom: no, you can't have one, now stop saying that word
Girl: But ma I...... (mom interrupts)
Mom: Look I said you can't get one now leave it
Girl: MA I WANT A **** FOR CHRISTMAS (Screams at the top of her voice)

Her mom had nothing to say to that, the girl didn't even have a clue what she had just said really.

where did this happen, new york?

MitchKoobski

Not quite parents being embarassed.

Couple of weeks ago we had SHAG week in college (sexual health and guidance). They were giving out these random kits. You got some leaflets, a small satchet of lube and 3 condoms.

Mammy dearest asked for some money i owed, told my younger brother to get it out of my coat pocket. He comes back with my wallet and a packet of three "weird shaped balloons" as he called them. Mam was horrified. My brother was confused. I grabbed them quick. Dad burst out laughing.

Later that week I was trying to play it cool with a lady friend. i went to buy her a drink, reached into my pocket and took some money out. The satchet of lube came with it. She didn't find it as funny as the barman did.

Atavan-Halen

I was also at a swimming pool and getting changed in a cubicle (individual ones). All of a sudden a kid shouted out (very loudly) "I CAN SEE *girl's name*'S FANNY!!"

seanbmc

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

where did this happen, new york?

Tbh,does it really matter?

Pompey Magnus

Back during the troubles my family were driving to Donegal and cutting through the North as it was quicker. There were the British Army checkpoints around still (I was about 3 or 4 so it was the late 80s), anyway we were stopped at the checkpoint and a hardened squaddie was checking the car in front of ours in the line, I spot him and being all impressed with the soldier I start singing the only soldier song I knew: "The Men Behind The Wire" as made famous by The Wolfe Tones that my aunt had taught me and I knew off by heart.

Queue my parents desperately trying to shut me up in the back as I was singing:

"Through the little streets of Belfast
In the dark of early morn
British soldiers came marauding
Wrecking little homes with scorn"

as this soldier waved on the car ahead and made for us next.

funk-you

When I was at my brothers wedding myself and my sister went up to put my 5 year old nephew to bed. My aunt who has a bit of a manforaface knocked on the door to wish him goodnight.

He turns around with a puzzled look and says to me right in front of my aunt, "Is Eileen a man or a woman?". My sister slammed the door in her face with embarassment while i'm falling around. All the time my nephew is still looking at me waiting on an answer. Great kid.

-Funk

RMD

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

where did this happen, new york?

What do you want me to say? Ma? Mother? Was my post not up to your standards because I used the word Mom for the dialogue?

JoeyDoh

Me and me Da used to go to the local pub/eatery every sunday for our dinner back when I was about 8.As such we became friendly with one of the waiters there,Willie was his name.

Anyway one sunday I was being particularly bold and was giving cheek and what have ya when I blurted out at him while he was talking to a group of young waitresses" Willie,are you a virgin?"

My Da,along with the rest of the pub bursted into laughter and poor Willie was left scarlet....My finest moment perphaps...

Fear Uladh

Was in the doctors, there was a little girl with her mum and this little black kid sitting across from her with his mum, the little black kid started coughing violently and the little girl said "mammy whats wrong with him" the ma says "he must be very sick love" to which the girl replied "is it because he is black mammy?"

we'llallhavetea_old

my daughter was about three, in dunnes at the meat counter. she started pointing at the, rather masculine, lady serving and saying "LOOK AT THE MAN LADY MAMMY!!"

pure coincidence that she used the term "man lady" btw.

Stinicker

When I was younger about 4 or 5 I was at a carnival funfair (Bumper cars etc.) and I begged my father to take me to the toilet but he was too busy talking to some girl from work; cue me taking out the nozzle and pissing down the leg of my fathers trousers!! When my mother came over she nearly died laughing and instead of scolding me, praised me much to the embarrassment of my father.

I once had my cousin with me (8) as I was taking him to Croker also and he decided to blurt out on the train; What's a Vagina? I stupidly answered, "a place you put things" and he then asked people on the train; What is in your Vagina? I gave him £20 to shut up and I nearly died of shame.

landsleaving

I was playing football with my cousin, who would have been pretty young at the time, can't remember what age exactly, when a black friend of my next door neighbour walks out of the house and past us. He takes this opportunity to shout 'Look, look, a chocolate man, a chocolate man' at the top of his voice.

Needless to say I dragged him indoors as fast as possible after a quick apology. The guy laughed his head off to his credit. I, unfortunately, just turned into a tomato man.

Tail Wagger

Some years ago my sister was going through a bit of a hard time
with her two sister-in -laws on her husbands side.

So one day when passing one of the in-laws she decided to call in
and see how things were going. She rang the door bell and walked straight into her in-laws home where the two sisters were in the kitchen.

Everyone said hi to each other and things were great while the kettle was being put on. In the corner of the room sat a son of the visiting sister, he was about 8 years old and in a trance looking at the telly... In the middle of the chatter between the 3 women the little guy turned to my sister and said, hey Mary your a fcuking smart bitch!...... And people say kids don't listen to our conversations.
Her sister-in-laws faces were priceless. My sister just broke out laughing...

Kasabian

Yesterday I was heading to the beach and decided to call by a friends house and see if she wanted to come along. Anyway yes , her and her daughter came with me. In the car I was making small talk with the kid , trying to be nice.

We pull up at the car park and as I am getting out of the car I over hear this cute little 5 year old say to her Mom , "we should have pretended we weren't in."

I was embarassed.

we'llallhavetea_old

lonad wrote: »

Yesterday I was heading to the beach and decided to call by a friends house and see if she wanted to come along. Anyway yes , her and her daughter came with me. In the car I was making small talk with the kid , trying to be nice.

We pull up at the car park and as I am getting out of the car I over hear this cute little 5 year old say to her Mom , "we should have pretended we weren't in."

I was embarassed.

that is unbearably cringe worthy stuff

Kasabian

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

that is unbearably cringe worthy stuff

I know

Dudess

These stories nearly always involve male genitalia - therefore lols guaranteed.

tony1kenobi

medicman2009 wrote: »

That's the only 'wrong' part of the story, surely most lads instinct would be to look at the ceiling, look at their watch, look at the wonderful tiling on the floor, anywhere but 'there.'

Based on the kids observation my instinct would have been to say "I'm not your dad......and it just is".

KeithM89_old

When i was about 6 or 7 - my Dad brought me to mass here he was doing a reading - about 5 minutes before he was meant to read - i got sick on him. :cool: He still went up to the alter and did the reading with sick all over his sunday best. As soon as he was done, he grabbed me and we left and got slagged about it for years after

yerayeah

We were out for dinner a few weeks ago, my 2 year old cousin started excitingly telling the waitress that her brother had 2 balls and one of them was really hard. Then her other brother blurts out that he likes playing with the 2 balls a lot.

Oh, how we laughed!:)








Gaelic football and soccer ball for those who're wondering!!:pac:

brummytom

I think I've posted this before:

I only ever called people by the colour of their top/shirt when I was about 3 (Pink lady, green man etc.)
In an indian restuarant, the uniform was black.

I get upset and start screaming;
"WHERE'S THE BLACK MANNNNNN?!!!" "I WANT THE BLACK MAN!!!" "BLACK MAN???" with my parents repeatedly trying to shush me, to no avail.

We left.





Also in a restaurant, when I was little, mom was explaining to me that all ladies had babies in their 'tummys', but 'not all of them came out'.

I pointed to a (apparently, obviously very health/fitness-conscious) woman and shouted: "Mommy, has that lady got a baby in her tummy?" She thought I was calling her fat, and cried.


We left.

Griffen262

I punched my auld lad in the eye at mass when I was small, gave him a black eye aswel!!

Apparently, I got the wooden spoon when i got home.

Michaelrsh

In the supermarket, out loud, "Mammy, who was banging on the wall last night?"

Pacing Mule

Dudess wrote: »

These stories nearly always involve male genitalia - therefore lols guaranteed.

I was thinking the same - that and the innocent racism angle too. Some very funny stuff though.

Seth Brundle

neil_18_ wrote: »

The first time my brother saw an african man in dublin. It was on a train. He had never seen a person being a different colour in his life.

He pointed and very loudly and said.
"Daddy whats that?".

My parents were really embarresed for the whole journey.:o

The man took it in good humour though and laughed it off though!:P

I hope this doesnt offend anybody, he was only around 5! Pretty innocent!

I remember about 15-20 years a friend telling me how her daughter shouted ago about a black man sitting innocently on the bus "Mammy that man is really really dirty!"
He saw the funny side and just laughed but she was mortified!

IvyTheTerrible

kbannon wrote: »

I remember about 15-20 years a friend telling me how her daughter shouted ago about a black man sitting innocently on the bus "Mammy that man is really really dirty!"
He saw the funny side and just laughed but she was mortified!

My brother said the same when he was brought into casualty when he was around 2, and saw his first Indian doctor. Mum said she was mortified!

kbannon

kbannon wrote: »

I remember about 15-20 years a friend telling me how her daughter shouted ago about a black man sitting innocently on the bus "Mammy that man is really really dirty!"
He saw the funny side and just laughed but she was mortified!

Yeah apparently when I was little I announced "mammy that man isn't irish!" she was laughing so much he saw the funny side too

Damo123

Not really embarrassment. BUt when I was younger about 5 maybe... My auld man was out fixing something at the car and I was just running round, throwing stones and being annoying. So anyway he hits me a few slaps and screams at me to settle down. But just as thats happening the guards pull into the street. I ran over to them and said "that bastard over there doesnt have any tax or insurance on that car" the auld boy went pure red. But the guards thought it was hilarious and just told him to get it and then they moved on. Needless to say the head was handed to me as soon as I got in the house.