What should I do?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am going to go unreg for this one.

I've been going out with my partner for 5 months now. Things were great, well that's what I thought.

I decided (for the laugh) I would go onto his facebook and mess around with it(like a kid I know) so I got a little curious and looked at his messages and one was a conversation to a friend.

The conversation took place in February, in it my partner says he's not up to much except seeing me which he is considering breaking up with me very very soon because he isn't bothered about the whole thing and that he spends alot of money and time with me.

One thing is he spends no money on me except transport to see me which i also so to see him and I see him once or twice a week which in my opinion isn't much.
He stays in my house alot and is treated very well...but back to the point.

Why didn't he break up with me, everything seemed great between us?

Another thing is he says he hasn't been talking to his ex but he talks to her alot on it and deletes it from his profiles that he has been talking to her....flirty talk too.


I really care about him and he is my best friend, well least I thought. He says he really cares about me too and that I am his best friend but this has put me off completely!

I am really confused and I would love some others opinions before I go and talk to him about it. (he doesn't know about it yet)

Sorry for the long post...

Thanks in advance

Abi

Why don't you ask him about it? I'd just tell him you popped onto his page for laughs and were surprised by a couple of things you seen. You're going out with each other a few months now, so its not exactly a stalkerish thing to do.

You said these comments were from around February? that would have still be early days for you both if you're only going out with each 5mths so far. So when you ask why didn't he break up with you, maybe its because his feelings grew stronger for you?

So, there were messages between him and an ex. While thats not a crime per se, their nature does matter. Are these kind of messages still being passed between them, and could you give examples of what sort of stuff is being said?

LegacyUser

I agree with you.

The kind of messages being passed are of him talking to her on chat and her sending him a message saying she better have replied back because she got off suddenly.

The messages were sent the day we offically got together back in november. She never replied to the last message.

He leaves comments on everything she does calling her babe in one of them! He then deletes the current activity on his own profile so that I cant see!

Maybe his feelings have gotten stronger for me, but the fact that I only hear from him first not very often and that I get in contact with him first alot of the time is getting to my head.

I've decided to not contact him for a few days and see what happens as I need time to think of wheather it is worth fighting for this relationship.

Barracudaincork

guest14 wrote: »

I decided (for the laugh) I would go onto his facebook and mess around with it(like a kid I know) so I got a little curious and looked at his messages and one was a conversation to a friend.

If you are a regular poster on boards, you should of been only to aware of the pitfalls of snopping into OH's Facebook profiles and the confusion etc it brings. I know you try and cover up you looking at his FB as a laugh and like a kid, but you also know its wrong and an invasion of privacy, an invasion he will mention if you bring this up. So i guess you need to decide if you want to have that conversation with him or not, as you wont be seen as Ms Innocent.

If it was me, id let it go, it was back in Feb and i assume your relationship has grown since then.

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

Prepare to be lynched for invading his privacy, it's the biggest no-no on relationship issues on boards (just a head's up).

Anywho, I wouldn't break up with him about the convo with his friend, he may have just been in a moany humour (I know I've said things I didn't really mean in private conversations). I would DEFO break up with him for the flirty messages to his ex however. It's just plain lying to say you're not in contact with someone and then send them flirty messages. Break up with him and be thankful you found out now. You were only with him 5 months so I'd say you'll be over him promptly, get out and have some fun.

Best of luck.