Naughty Naughty Girl

LegacyUser

Was having a conversation with my girlfriend on skype a few days ago and she was acting a bit on the aroused side, she is kinky, we both are and i said to her after the mention of something kinky "your a nuaghty nuaghty girl" and she got angry/upset i used this term, said she isnt a girl she is a woman and that she doesnt understand why i tuaght she would like me calling her a nuaghty girl, that it puts bad connotations on sex and why should it be nuaghty and not to use the term again she really doesnt like it, to me it doesnt seem like that bad of a thing, she said she was offended though, to me that phrase is something thats used in jest and cant get my head around it, just seemed a strange thing. Was i wrong to say this or is she over reacting?

Nevyn

If it pisses her off and turns her off then don't use that phrase, it's that simple.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think you were wrong to say it and I think she was slightly over-reacting. I'm sure you would you rather she didn't just keep shtum so as not to cause an issue when something that really doesn't do it for her crops up? So it's great she's open and willing to experiment and is being honest with you so that the experience can be as good as it possibly can be but at the same time, a simple word of explanation regarding what turns her on/off would suffice, I'm not sure why she's getting angry or upset - perhaps it's the verbal equivalent of throwing a bucket of cold water over her and she was really disappointed? Her prerogative.

I don't think it would hurt to have a chat about it and that you found her reaction a bit OTT but stress that you appreciate that's how she feels, you understand it isn't for her and that the phrase won't be used again!

Best of luck.

ApeXaviour

There's nothing objectively wrong with it at all. You couldn't have predicted her reaction and you shouldn't feel any guilt over it.

However, if she's as open (kinky) as you describe then there's most likely something else at play triggering her reaction (maybe something as simple as a film that gave her nightmares as a kid, or a teacher she didn't like calling her a naughty girl). Now that you know it has this effect just don't use it again or find an alternative. Don't fret about it, and for god sake don't dig and psycho-analyse or make a big deal about it. It really doesn't matter a bean, we all have our weird neuroses/quirks.

matrim

There was nothing wrong with you saying it and for me it seems as if your GF overacted but it's obviously something that upsets \ annoys her.
At the least don't say it again but if it really bothers \ worries you then you should talk to her about it, but try make sure to do so in an open non-sexual way.

shellyboo

Yeah, she overreacted - it's obviously a trigger for her, but it's a perfectly normal thing to say when you're talking sexy with someone. Just don't say it to her again now that you know she dislikes it!

Bad form of her to give out to you about it, imo.

Darlughda

The term 'naughty girl' has a submissive tone about it, and frankly a clear inference to the childhood state. Maybe she just got frustrated trying to tell you what she prefers and she lost it?

Has she been trying to signal to you that she would prefer you to be in the submissive role, and a suitable kinky adjective to accompany the word 'woman' might be more her thing.

kjl

eh, if she cant see the fun, then she is not the kinky person you claim she is. or she is a psycho

Annie Bananie

Just tell her you are sorry, that you didnt mean anything bad about it. And dont say it again, as she obviously dont like it. No biggie.

Wibbs

shellyboo wrote: »

Yeah, she overreacted - it's obviously a trigger for her, but it's a perfectly normal thing to say when you're talking sexy with someone. Just don't say it to her again now that you know she dislikes it!

Bad form of her to give out to you about it, imo.

This. Just a tad of an over reaction IMHO. She got angry and upset? Over that? If that offends her.... Ok no accounting for some but she could have put across a lot better her dislike of the term and with a sense of humour too.

A mate of mine's ex boyfriend did something similar. She called him baby one night while getting jiggy and he got uppity. "How dare you Im not a baby". Jesus. Clearly bolstering her initial description of him.

So apologise once and yes dont bring it up again, but IMHO Id keep an eye out for OTT behaviour. If its a one off grand, but.....

Ever2010

Maybe a bit of an over reaction but it would creep me out a bit cause calling someone a naughty girl is what you say to a child (the English side of my family use naughty not bold for misbehaved kids)... just a thought.

vicecreamsundae

i agree that you shouldn't feel guilty about it, as you didn't realise it would bother her and of course it's a very commonly used phrase when it comes to dirty talk.

but i don't think it's right people are claiming it must be some kind of a trigger or that someone must have said it to her when she was young. and i certainly don't agree that "she must not be that kinky if she doesn't like it!".i don't think we even need to make these guesses because the OPs girlfriend explained it perfectly well for herself. like she said, she is a woman, not a girl. and enjoying sex/behaving sexually does not make a woman "naughty", it is quite a healthy, positive behaviour. seems to me she just doesn't like the sexist,double standard women are held to when it comes to sex is all. good girl/bad girl etc etc and doesn't want those same cliches played out in her own sexual relationships.

i do think you should sit down with her and discuss between the two of you the kinds of sexual language the two of you do and don't like and why, so that this same kind of thing doesn't happen again. i wouldn't worry about, there is still a big lexicon of sexy talk without resorting to sexist talk.