This should be stuck outside every dj box in the country:)

Musicman2000

1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO !
The DJ has to play for more than one person...so what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.

2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT" !
BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of BEAT!

3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....
PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long...Do them a favor and DON'T give them a rendition of your favorite song.

4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT !
Oh, sure... you polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.

5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT !
The DJ won't. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!

6. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT !
Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!

7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT !
The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's paycheck!

8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ?
It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth!

9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS !
It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway) ! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!

10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING !
If your gonna leave after he plays it, why shouldn't he wait till the very last song so you stay all night! If you wanna get your request played faster, try writing it on the back of a $20 bill and handing it to the dj.


P.S. - If the dj has one hand on a mixer and one on the turntable he is busy and if he has his headphones on please dont yell at him A: he cant hear a ****ing thing your saying and B:he doesnt come to your job and scream at you so please be patient and he'll get to you as soon as possible.

Executive Steve

Thinking of getting a t-shirt made that says "NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY PENDULUM"

Quiggers

scarely accurate,
as for the we're leaving soon, my reply encourages them to leave promptly, ie well fack off then.

it did leave out the, can you play it again, i was outside for a cig brigade, as well as the obligitory radio head fan
who wants to encourage mass suicide. and the can you play (un-likable sad song) for my (insert relative) he/she died of cancer last year..... well they're not gonna hear that **** song then are they?

ianuss

Quiggers wrote: »

and the can you play (un-likable sad song) for my (insert relative) he/she died of cancer last year..... well they're not gonna hear that **** song then are they?

I actually lol'd after reading that

tman

Points 1-10 pretty much covered by that "**** off, I'm mixing" tshirt

Executive Steve

Funniest one I ever got was "play some dubstep" - while i was mixing a Shackleton tune into a Joy Orbison tune

:pac:

Father Damo

J-have Maniac 2000?


Im going to be honest, being born in the mid 80s/ hitting the teens in the early 2000s I ****ing love Maniac despite the cheese :pac:

colin29

tman wrote: »

Points 1-10 pretty much covered by that "**** off, I'm mixing" tshirt

Years ago I used to work in club in Cork where the DJ had that posted outside the box, I remember also a bunch of tunes posted up with "do not request these".

electrogrimey

Think the oddest I've gotten is 'Do you have any Paul Simon' during a house set in the Twisted Pepper...I also liked when a bloke asked me to play Tiesto, and straight away I said no. He seemed like he understood why, and walked away in disgrace.

jtsuited

electrogrimey wrote: »

Think the oddest I've gotten is 'Do you have any Paul Simon' during a house set in the Twisted Pepper...I also liked when a bloke asked me to play Tiesto, and straight away I said no. He seemed like he understood why, and walked away in disgrace.

My favourite was during a LIVE set being asked to play tiesto. 4 times. Then the girl of the group came up and banged really hard on the booth, knocking my soundcard and controller to the floor. I was in bad mood already and the only thing that stopped me blowing a fuse was Dave141 saying 'laugh it off'.

Have had similar happen with idiots pointing a phone at me with 'justice pleeeeaaasse' a good few times.

I should be able to laugh it off, but it actually winds me up no end.

hans aus dtschl

Executive Steve wrote: »

Funniest one I ever got was "play some dubstep" - while i was mixing a Shackleton tune into a Joy Orbison tune

:pac:

I get this every thursday.

The best in recent weeks was as follows
"will you play some techno?"
me, (playing techno and quite confused) "yep definitely"
and no more than a few minutes later, when the set hadn't progressed a whole pile (still techno) the fella came up and thanked me.

Same night, a girl asked me to play dubstep. I said yes. At the end, she gave out to me saying "don't say yes when you mean no". I'd just finished on appleblim & T++ mix of PAS "x speaks to x" and the one before it was STP's "the fall", and felt a bit peeved to be getting abuse. Her boyfriend, who I knew, was making excuses to the effect of "you know she meant caspa and rusko and that kind of thing" to which I could only reply "there's a pop music DJ downstairs".

But the dubstep thing, I get every week. My personal record is twice being asked for dubstep during a Sigha tune on hotflush a few months back. Think I just shouted "no, and **** off" or something equally inelegant like that the second time.

hans aus dtschl

jtsuited wrote: »

My favourite was during a LIVE set being asked to play tiesto. 4 times. Then the girl of the group came up and banged really hard on the booth, knocking my soundcard and controller to the floor. I was in bad mood already and the only thing that stopped me blowing a fuse was Dave141 saying 'laugh it off'.

Have had similar happen with idiots pointing a phone at me with 'justice pleeeeaaasse' a good few times.

I should be able to laugh it off, but it actually winds me up no end.

I can deal with "tiesto" or "deadmau5" quite easily actually, I just point to the record bag and say "I'm sorry I don't have it: i've only one bag of records with me!" and then follow up with "you can have a look through and I'll play anything you like in there?"

If it continues (same person more dodgy requests) I'll move into "sorry I forgot it/loaned it to a friend/my copy is actually scratched, but great song though"

And if it contunies (same person even more dodgy requests) I'll go towards "no they didn't press that one on vinyl" which gets the same response every time "why not?" which sets me up nicely for "cos they never thought DJ's would play it".

But usually if we get a lost soul, not quite grasping that our room's not pop music (asking for beyonce etc), I'll be patient and say "sorry, we're only supposed to play kind of techno music, its what the management want us to play" and people get that.


BUT

the people asking for "dubstep" USUALLY seem to have a single sound in mind (that wobble sound) which is just mind melting. Aint a kidstep night, sorry.

joker77

"Have you got any rock music?"
"Have you got anything other than 'E' music?"
"Nobody here is doing pills, can you play something that everyone will know?"

At which point, I call the person who INVITED me to the party to play HOUSE/TECHNO over, hand him the headphones, and walk off to go get drunk.

Pandoras Twist

What kind of gigs are these that people are coming up and asking you to play stuff?

I'd kinda understand it at a commercial gig, but I've never in my life seen or heard of anyone requesting tunes (bar the DJ''s own mates making suggestions) during a normal set. It would never even cross my mind to do that.

hans aus dtschl

Pandoras Twist wrote: »

What kind of gigs are these that people are coming up and asking you to play stuff?

I'd kinda understand it at a commercial gig, but I've never in my life seen or heard of anyone requesting tunes (bar the DJ''s own mates making suggestions) during a normal set. It would never even cross my mind to do that.

Donnacha Costello was playing here the other week.
"Will you play shakira?"

Seriously, WHY would anyone pay to see Donnacha Costello and ask for Shakira?

Executive Steve

hans aus dtschl wrote: »

I get this every thursday.

The best in recent weeks was as follows
"will you play some techno?"
me, (playing techno and quite confused) "yep definitely"
and no more than a few minutes later, when the set hadn't progressed a whole pile (still techno) the fella came up and thanked me.

Same night, a girl asked me to play dubstep. I said yes. At the end, she gave out to me saying "don't say yes when you mean no". I'd just finished on appleblim & T++ mix of PAS "x speaks to x" and the one before it was STP's "the fall", and felt a bit peeved to be getting abuse. Her boyfriend, who I knew, was making excuses to the effect of "you know she meant caspa and rusko and that kind of thing" to which I could only reply "there's a pop music DJ downstairs".

But the dubstep thing, I get every week. My personal record is twice being asked for dubstep during a Sigha tune on hotflush a few months back. Think I just shouted "no, and **** off" or something equally inelegant like that the second time.

:D:D:D

In fairness - if you're being asked to play Dubstep while you're playing Dubstep you're definitely playing it right IMO

hans aus dtschl

Yeah, and oddly enough, people never seem to ask for "electro", which is one thing I was actually steeling myself for. But "dubstep" seems to be the thing the "edgy" kids like. And I'll tel you what, it looks like D&B could be next, from the amount of dodgy D&B requests I'm getting lately. God bless pendulum.

Executive Steve

hans aus dtschl wrote: »

Yeah, and oddly enough, people never seem to ask for "electro", which is one thing I was actually steeling myself for. But "dubstep" seems to be the thing the "edgy" kids like. And I'll tel you what, it looks like D&B could be next, from the amount of dodgy D&B requests I'm getting lately. God bless pendulum.

Ha! Yeah, 90's revival is around the corner so! Looking forward to being trendy again!

:pac:

Quiggers

Its not all bad, a few people ask for some good music too. but mainly i've been getting asked for journey-dont stop believing. hate it hate it hate it.

say maniac on a tv ad and am now dreading the maniac2000 requests, thankfully i deleted it years ago, obviously i missed a copy or two and i hope you'll take the sensible approach and destroy it,

recently when doing a propper gig using live, lots of cutups and remixes that i'd done, some blond twit asked if i could play happy birthday for her friend, she left quite promptly and i doubt she's remember me fondly.

Zascar

I've had a few requests for Kylie and Britney etc, I usually reply "Yeah sure no problem, I'll put it on next!" and chuckle to myself as they smile and are all happy thinking I'm going to, then wait for 10 minutes later when they give me dirty looks all pissed off.

Had a funny one on Saturday night when playing at an after party, after my set this guy comes up to me and says "Ere buuddy, was dat u on da decks dere earlier?
Me: Yeah it was
Him: I didn't loike yer music man...
Me: Oh sorry about that, I can't please everyone mate...
Him: No, I didn't loike it, I fuukkin LOVED it!

hans aus dtschl

Last time I'd a happy birthday request, I happened to have modeselektor's "happy birthday" in the bag.
Not a great tune, but I had fun with it anyway.

jtsuited

why don't promoters put a nice big sign up beside dj booth's when there's a proper dj playing at a proper night saying 'No requests'?

hans aus dtschl

They'd do better to put a sign at the door of the club saying "no idiots"

francois

My personal favourite

"you know the one you played last week, will you play it again?"

jimi_t2

hans aus dtschl wrote: »

They'd do better to put a sign at the door of the club saying "no idiots"

Might as well just change the sign to say ''Cockfest'' - which leads me to my next point

joker77 wrote: »

"Have you got any rock music?"
"Have you got anything other than 'E' music?"
"Nobody here is doing pills, can you play something that everyone will know?"

At which point, I call the person who INVITED me to the party to play HOUSE/TECHNO over, hand him the headphones, and walk off to go get drunk.

Was DJing a Trinity Ball pre-party - started around 7 or so playing Metro Area, 4hero, Aeroplane, Tensnake, Eddie Amadour etc... out in the garden. Nice sunny house for a nice sunny day. Girls arrived at 8pm. Threw on an 8 minute tune (Metro Area - Miura) so I could nip out and grab my cans while they were making noise in the kitchen.

Was back in 6mins flat to find the laptop off, MIDI controller plugged out of the (30w Active) monitors. Instead someone had dragged out a mini hi-fi with an aux-in having brought their own iPod and jack cable to the party :rolleyes: I really don't think I would ever meet a male this arrogant and egotistical. Cue the dulcet tones of Lady Gaga and Cheryl Cole for the next 2 hours, as every lad in the place slowly filtered away from them

hans aus dtschl

Quite a lot of our female regulars are clued up though. Get requests for heartthrob - signs, fischerspooner - emerge, and laurent garnier pretty regularly.
Think "linkwood family" or "cassy" are about the most "girl-friendly" requests a lot of them would give.

It's not gender-specific by any means. The fellas are equally as likely to want "dj chee-esto" as the girls are to want "shakira".

Also, Miura's a great tune.
Another that works well to brighten things up is Lauer's "Delta NRG"

joker77

I think what he's saying here is that it's a lot more likely for a female at a party to actually wander over, take out her iPod, unplug the decks and hook up her iPod to a hifi.

A lot more likely

Zascar

Why is it that so often Good Music = Few Women?

joker77

Dunno on that one.

In fairness - I've had probably an equal proportion of male/female in terms of people coming up and asking for stupid stuff, but from my own experiences the females are more pushy and will actually sometimes come behind and try to take over! Or at a house party, as I say, override your system with the iPod/Hifi combination.

I suppose they can afford to be more pushy, because they're not going to get a slap out of it, whereas if it was a fella being like that... well... he'd wanna have some backup

jtsuited

I have a wholly unscientific (and probably very wrong) theory about girls and dancefloors.

If it's slow and swingy, there will be plenty of girls. You need warmth and soul to keep em there. You need plenty of groove and less whack. Stuff with tambourines. Thick sounding deep stuff seems to appeal to oestregen.

If it's banging, you'll end up with a floor full of lads who are madouvit. the gated percy cold tech-house stuff will fill the floor with testosterone.

Guys dance with their hands, girls dance with their hips.

Saw cassy in cocoon playing an incredible set. Wasn't slow but was very soulful and warm. Lots of girls giving it loads.
Then Sven Vath came on, went harder and techier, most girls lost interest and headed to the terrace. By that time the madouvit local lads (who are the friendliest madouvits you'll meet) kept the room full and a good night was had by all.

Big manly techno a la Surgeon means feck all girls. Warm, soulful house means lots of them.

g5fd6ow0hseima

jtsuited wrote: »

Big manly techno a la Surgeon means feck all girls. Warm, soulful house means lots of them.

So that basically throws most electronic music out the window! Where do the likes of IDM come in? Breakcore and all those other mad genres....

Also, im guessing that the likes of Hardtechno (Schranz), Gabber etc are mostly big muscley european 'men's' music.

old gregg

all starting to sound a bit silky, and we all know where silk comes from :p

if you want 'big muscley european 'men's' music' then Rammstein is the only way to go.

otherwise you're getting dangerously close to arguing over who gets to wear the cop's uniform and who has to dress like a construction worker and don't start me on the Indian chief .....

g5fd6ow0hseima

jimi_t2 wrote: »

Was back in 6mins flat to find the laptop off, MIDI controller plugged out of the (30w Active) monitors. Instead someone had dragged out a mini hi-fi with an aux-in having brought their own iPod and jack cable to the party :rolleyes: I really don't think I would ever meet a male this arrogant and egotistical. Cue the dulcet tones of Lady Gaga and Cheryl Cole for the next 2 hours, as every lad in the place slowly filtered away from them

Im no toughman, but I would have lost the plot.

BeatNikDub

Executive Steve wrote: »

Ha! Yeah, 90's revival is around the corner so! Looking forward to being trendy again!

:pac:

Executive Steve was never NOT trendy by the way.
Recognize

Executive Steve

BeatNikDub wrote: »

Executive Steve was never NOT trendy by the way.
Recognize

I'll grudgingly concede that point!

As for all the silly sexist talk about the ladies crew's taste in music, Beatnik here gave me my first ever gig years ago and like most of the chicks I know has a pretty lethal record collection and the skills to put it to good use

electrogrimey

In my experience, girls can have just as good taste in dance as any bloke, but most of them wouldn't spend the time searching for new tracks etc that their male counterparts would. That may be a generalisation, but I don't often see girls spouting about the latest banger coming out.

Zascar

I do have one female friend who knows way way more about music than me, all types but plenty on house & techno. She works in the industry...

Quiggers

lads tend to geek out on their interest more than women, they keep their obsessions at a healthy level while lads pig out, cut out all others and become obsesive, hence the divide,
lads want to be ahead of the pack, knowing the next big tune a year before its official release, girls just wanna have fun, sing dance giggle with their mates. guys want to out do each other, i can drink more, dance faster, know more about a harder style of music than you, drive faster with a fancier car with more "custom" mods, and whoop your ass on the x-box too, on my 78" 3d holographic projecter with a 12.2 sound system and 9million watts ..........per channel.

this forum is all the proof we need, look at the man/lass balance and their post counts.

we is all slightly sick in the head you see.

Pandoras Twist

jtsuited wrote: »

I have a wholly unscientific (and probably very wrong) theory about girls and dancefloors.

If it's slow and swingy, there will be plenty of girls. You need warmth and soul to keep em there. You need plenty of groove and less whack. Stuff with tambourines. Thick sounding deep stuff seems to appeal to oestregen.

If it's banging, you'll end up with a floor full of lads who are madouvit. the gated percy cold tech-house stuff will fill the floor with testosterone.

Guys dance with their hands, girls dance with their hips.

Saw cassy in cocoon playing an incredible set. Wasn't slow but was very soulful and warm. Lots of girls giving it loads.
Then Sven Vath came on, went harder and techier, most girls lost interest and headed to the terrace. By that time the madouvit local lads (who are the friendliest madouvits you'll meet) kept the room full and a good night was had by all.

Big manly techno a la Surgeon means feck all girls. Warm, soulful house means lots of them.

Haha I guess I'm just odd then.

You're right about the hips and hands thing though.

Personally I'd flip if cheryl cole went on at a gaff party. That or leave. Can't listen to any of it.

The good music = no girls is partially because of the technical nature of the music, and the one-upness. When I first got into tunes I was pretty put off by "Yeah I like that tune" "Oh the blah blah remix of it is much better, have you heard (insert unknown name here)..."

...and partially because girls are dense

c_o_ck p_i_ss chillage

Girls like vocals in their music so they can sing along.

To the OP - wear this every time you dj :-)

http://www.zazzle.co.uk/im_a_dj_not_a_jukebox_tshirt-235427326608920744

Zascar

Or this


Or this


Although this is better:


Haha

hans aus dtschl

Female friends of mine regularly know more about music than me. I hear about new records from them, I hear about old records from them...

Think electrogrimey had it right in saying the girls just dont tend to spout about it as much.

So people saying "britney etc is girls music", I really think its not. Its gardai + teacher music. It's fine, but it's generally not music-lover's music. It's middle-ireland-wanting-to-be-on-MTV music. For the people who desperately want to be on "spring break in cancun". For the girls who feel that bearing resemblance to girls aloud will improve their quality of life, and for fellas who believe that "driving with the top down" and "bitches in the back seat" are realities for those who drink enough and/or dance enough.

For them "I love this song" means "I want my life to be like the one depicted in the video that sells this song". And who are we to criticize, writing on the internet and debating the merits of a genre of music the entrie contents of which will never outsell elton john. Go figure.

clayton1

1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO !
The DJ has to play for more than one person...so what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.

How true is this... "Eh, my favourite song is Moby Natural Blues, will you play that please"... "OK, but you do realise that you will be the only one dancing to it"..... "I don't care, it's my 21st"

**Clayton, waits for dance floor to clear **

old gregg

wait till you see their faces light up when I go up to the guys in Autechre tonight and ask them to play Living On A Prayer

clayton1

i'm DJ'ing in tramco in rathmines tonight lads, if anyone is around !!

and no, i am not playing the grease megamix

Zascar

lol no way, I remember Tramco from when I lived in Rathmines as a student. I thought it was closed down.

clayton1

Zascar wrote: »

lol no way, I remember Tramco from when I lived in Rathmines as a student. I thought it was closed down.

after my set tonight............. it could well be closed down again

Zascar

Please tell me you do not play trash like this... It was always a standard tune there from what I remember

clayton1

Zascar wrote: »

Please tell me you do not play trash like this... It was always a standard tune there from what I remember

ha ha, i don't know. i am only filling in tonight because the regular DJ is stuck abroad because of the volcanic ash.

i'm told to play mostly pop - usher, the saturdays etc., some dance tunes aswell and 80's. So i probably will play that alright, ha ha.

g5fd6ow0hseima

Finish your set with this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SumyG9iEVjQ

If anyone asks, say 'its daft punk, you know..... those ledgebags'

thebossanova

even as a meagre pub/disco bar dj I can associate with everything that has been said in this thread. Haven't been asked for tiesto in a while though, which is oddly disappointing as I do enjoy alienating his fans for their choice of music!