A funny thing i saw written on a toilet door

cullen5998

"The toilet paper in LIT is like Mr. T, its rough, tough and takes no $hit" I thought it was worth sharing

120_Minutes

its ripped off from an old racist John Wayne joke...

Ghost Train

down with this sort of thing

phasers

"Meat is Murder" changed to "Meath is Murder"

Midnight_EG

I posted this in 'The Best Graffiti You've Ever Seen' thread.


I was taking a poop, as you do, when I noticed a little black line down the bottom of the door. I leaned forward to read it, but I still couldn't, so I leant further. I could eventually read it, and it said;

'You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle'.

It was fucking true!


Another great one from that thread was 'Written on the left wall 'look right', written on the right wall 'look left''. Written on the door, 'you Sir, are now playing cubicle tennis'.

Totoro_

Weirdest I've seen is ''As I sit here broken hearted, I tried to sh!t but only farted'

My name is URL

Written beside the flusher -

"Please wiggle handel", and someone else wrote underneath it "Will he wiggle bach?"

:pac:

Bonito

My brother unrolled a whole roll of toilet paper (the last one in the packet) threw most it in the bin and left a couple sheets on it. Just so he could write;

"Ha, you're fúcked now" for the poor unfortunate fecker next to drop one and run out of paper. :pac:

orourkeda

phasers wrote: »

"Meat is Murder" changed to "Meath is Murder"

Why didnt they change it to Meath is down the toilet pot?

Mr. Presentable

"Please use the brush"

No, it hurts!

deisedude

Written at the bottom of the cubicle door "Beware of Gay Limbo Dancers"

joewicklow

Stardate 21.12.15. Captain Spock Reporting. Just beamed down for a crap. (on the wall in Kilbride Army Camp Bog)

mikom

Totoro_ wrote: »

Weirdest I've seen is ''As I sit here broken hearted, I tried to sh!t but only farted'

The one day I took a chance,
Went to fart and shat my pants,

Here I sit, I'm at a loss,
Trying to shit out taco sauce,
When it comes I hope and pray,
I don't blow my arse away,

Here I lay in stinky vapour,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger?

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

'If you meet a girl called Wanda who is giving blowjobs please ask her for my wallet back' - hostel in toronto

anglo_celt

How to castrate a priest getting a bj from an alterboy. Kick the alterboy in the chin.

nucking futs

If you can read this, MAN UP AND PEE STANDING UP YOU F*CK - written on the door

1071823928

i wish i saw funny stuff in toilets, the only thing i saw today was.... 'jenna is a slag' !! :rolleyes:

merengueca

Some come to sit and think, others to **** and stink..

lionela

Here is what I saw some years ago and thought it good.


To ****house artists ..in the sky
W'ell build a tower ....5 miles high
A monument.... of solid ****
A fitting tribute...to their wit.

triple-M

a funny poem i saw in a toilet in blanch sc with an arrow pointing towards an empty toilet paper dispenser
"in this box you'll find no paper,
use your finger or a scraper.
If a scraper cant be found,
just wipe your arse along the ground" :D

consultech

deisedude wrote: »

Written at the bottom of the cubicle door "Beware of Gay Limbo Dancers"

...usually accompanied by "Beware of gay high jumpers/pole vaulters" at the top of the door.

On the science floor of the NUIG library there was an arrow pointing towards the toilet paper and the words "Arts degrees"

peabutler

A German man walks into a bar...He is an Alcoholic and it's ruining his family.

Kristopherus

On the back of the Toilet door " Why emigrate - you can make a load here"

goose2005

My name is URL wrote: »

Written beside the flusher -

"Please wiggle handel"

... to work the bizet?

goose2005

Hailee Repulsive Glob wrote: »

On the science floor of the NUIG library there was an arrow pointing towards the toilet paper and the words "NUIG degrees"

fyp

mfceiling

Written on the wall above the bowl - stand closer, you aren't as big as you think.

consultech

The jacks in either Fibbers or Bruxelles a couple of years ago had: "Resentment/jealousy is like drinkin poison and expectin the other fella to die".

Quite profound I thought.

deisemum

On school toilet door back in the late 70's/early 80's. Amazing the things that stay in the memory from around 30 years ago.

Some people come here to sit and stare
While others come here to wonder
But I come here to p1ss and sh1te
And fart all day like thunder.

almostnever

In the repeats' prefab at school, someone wrote on the roof "Jiggy is watching you masturbate." It probably doesn't sound that funny, but it's been a source of great entertainment for us. :pac:

cedomination

anglo_celt wrote: »

How to castrate a priest getting a bj from an alterboy. Kick the alterboy in the chin.

You ruined the joke before it even got to the punchline.

Blazer

Sitting in the jacks at work having a dump.
Sees writing on the door. "Flush hard...it has to reach the whole way to the canteen"
No truer word was ever said..the canteen food was muck.

sron

cedomination wrote: »

You ruined the joke before it even got to the punchline.

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?

df1985

on a condom machine i seen:

"for full refund, insert baby!"..........

Le King

Some bad ones in here

sron

lionela wrote: »

Here is what I saw some years ago and thought it good.


To ****house artists ..in the sky
W'ell build a tower ....5 miles high
A monument.... of solid ****
A fitting tribute...to their wit.

Is this alluding to the U2 tower, or is it me that's making the connection?

CrackisWhack

consultech wrote: »

The jacks in either Fibbers or Bruxelles a couple of years ago had: "Resentment/jealousy is like drinkin poison and expectin the other fella to die".

Quite profound I thought.

Even if he did steal it off Gandhi;)

consultech

CrackisWhack wrote: »

Even if he did steal it off Gandhi;)

I was aware of that! I thought the syntax was funny though, it was Dublinised.

brianthebard

Hailee Repulsive Glob wrote: »

On the science floor of the NUIG library there was an arrow pointing towards the toilet paper and the words "Arts degrees"

science students - so unimaginative they only have the one collective joke. well two actually if you count 'well I may hate my course but at least I won't have a job in mcdonalds when I'm finished'.

AnonoBoy

brianthebard wrote: »

science students - so unimaginative they only have the one collective joke. well two actually if you count 'well I may hate my course but at least I won't have a job in mcdonalds when I'm finished'.

True. McDonald's don't hire those pr*cks.

DaveSlats

When I was studying in the old UCD Engineering building, Merrion Street, there was some unusual graffiti.

"They wanted to force dessicated oxtail soup up my arse*ole.
I refused.
It it for this refusal that I am being castigated."

Another wit had written:

"Heisenberg may have studied here."

to which somebody replied:

"And if he had they would have failed him."

Dj Stiggie

Written on a condom machine:

"Insert baby for refund"

And the toilets in DCU regularly have:

"Arts Degree, Maynooth" or something to that effect written on the toilet roll

EDIT: Having read through the thread, I've been beaten to it

Flying Abruptly

Totoro_ wrote: »

Weirdest I've seen is ''As I sit here broken hearted, I tried to sh!t but only farted'

"A fart so great it broke the bowl"
"And burned the hairs around my hole"

Saw those two lines added to the first one, from what looked like 2 different people because of handwriting and pen colour.

Adyx

brianthebard wrote: »

science students - so unimaginative they only have the one collective joke. well two actually if you count 'well I may hate my course but at least I won't have a job in mcdonalds when I'm finished'.

If it makes you feel any better, there was a similar note in a toilet in WIT saying "pull here for Rec Man cert".

Horse_box

"I f*cked your ma"

"Go home Dad! You're pissed"

Horse_box

From another thread on Boards:

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/184981/79370.jpg

I chuckled

FlutterinBantam

"Don't throw toothpicks in the urinals, the crabs here can pole vault"

LoanShark

In the Public Jacks in Kilkenny..

"Dropping Bombs for Peace is a bit like Fcuking for Virginity!"

alexlyons

Berkut wrote: »

Sitting in the jacks at work having a dump.
Sees writing on the door. "Flush hard...it has to reach the whole way to the canteen"
No truer word was ever said..the canteen food was muck.

you shit muck?

Fulton Crown

"Angela - I love you more than life itself

For you I would swim the deepest ocean

Climb the highest mountain

Cross the widest desert

PS See you Saturday...if it's not raining."


Seen on a school jax in Birmingham.

Erica<3

Condom machine in the ladies in Pravda -

'Insert baby for refund!'


Also,
'the lead singer of the murder club gives me wowzers in my trousers!'

Tenner says he wrote that himself.