Removals: Do you look in the coffin or just ignore it?

DCJR

Had to go to a removal yesterday, got me wondering how many people look at the body?

Anytime i always come out there always seems to be some people who go ''god, was the body there, i didnt see it at all''

Then theres always some people who go right over next to the coffin and stand right next to it and maybe touch the person aswell.


I personally just looked from a distance, i would have liked to gone over closer but didnt feel entirely comfortable. Plus he looked so different, skin was kinda yellow/orange (maybe it was make up, i dunno)


A morbid enough topic i suppose, but just wondering what others ppls habits are.

Nulty

Always look, I like to inspect my handywork.

:eek:

Really, I do have a tendancy (morbid fascination) to look.

Quality

Yes I always look and touch and pay my respects!

My big query was whether they get buried/cremated with shoes on!

Goldenquick

I always touch the corpse and bless myself. We were told when we were young that if you touch the corpse and bless yourself you will never feel lonely for the person, I think it was meant as in, you wouldn't be scared of the corpse though. Strange logic but it works for me!

Up to the individual though, my children wouldn't look nor touch anyone in a coffin.

alwaysadub

Depends on if i knew them well or not.
If i didnt know them too well,no i'd just glance at them without stopping!

RayM

I prefer to look from a distance. I'm not squeamish about that kind of thing, but if I was close to the person, I prefer to remember them as they were (as opposed to embalmed and in a wooden box). If I wasn't close to the person, I feel that I have no real business hovering over the coffin.

mikom

I always go up close to inspect the coffin quality more-so than the body inside.
The coffin which held my lesbian aunt had great workmanship.
It was all tongue and groove.

AlmightyCushion

Pretty much always look in the coffin. I sometimes touch the corpse depending on how hot she is and whether anyone is watching or not.

Alicat

I can't do it. It's not really 'them', so why torment myself with a final image of the person looking so unlike themselves?

For me, I prefer to remember the person when they were alive and happy.

El Weirdo

I normally try to crack a sly one off on the face.

Sharpshooter

If I didn't know them very well but knew someone in the family through work or whatever, I would not go near the coffin at all.
I think it is an intensely private time for the family and I remember when my mam died seeing people that she didn't have much time for while she was alive coming towards the coffin and touching her hands.

I wanted to jump across the coffin and lead them out of there.:(

But hey, she'd have come back and haunted me for it, because she was a lady through and through so I had to put up with it rather than let her down.

I think if you were close to the deceased and wanted to say goodbye for the last time, that's something you need to do.

But to the fcukers that come just for a look, I say go do something constructive with your time and go away.
And that's putting it nicely.

Stephentlig

I always look, it also reminds of how one day my body will be in the same position and it inspires me to pray for the person and to continue to work out my Salvation and to pray more in order to obtain the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.

I feel that for most of us who stand back, we do so ( and I dont speak for everyone here ) because it reveals to us our true human state, and plunders us into the thought of what lies beyond the grave. For most of us its not the fear of the unknown, ( for how can one fear what they dont even know?) but fear for the loss of what we already know.

Pax Christi
Stephen

Nulty

RayM wrote: »

I prefer to look from a distance. I'm not squeamish about that kind of thing, but if I was close to the person, I prefer to remember them as they were (as opposed to embalmed and in a wooden box). If I wasn't close to the person, I feel that I have no real business hovering over the coffin.

(IMO) It's healthy for you to be able to copme to terms with your close friends and loved ones dying. Surely seeing them dead isn't going to effect your memories of when they were alive and taint them. Being close to them when they are dead allows you to accept and come to terms with their (and your) mortality. I think it's recommended.

EL_Loco

kissed my grandparents corpses on their forehead as a child before the lid went on. (seperate occasions)

I think that was enough to desensitise me, I've no problem with it, other than being a little upset due to the actual death of someone close.

WanderingSoul

It depends on the person in the coffin.

Standard Toaster

RayM wrote: »

I prefer to look from a distance. I'm not squeamish about that kind of thing, but if I was close to the person, I prefer to remember them as they were (as opposed to embalmed and in a wooden box). If I wasn't close to the person, I feel that I have no real business hovering over the coffin.

I'm the same. My Grandad on my da's side died and I went to the removal.
My last memory of him is him lying there in the coffin, although I remember he looked at peace. Said I'd never do that again.

Exactly 1 week later my Gran on my Mum's side died suddenly and I choose not to go to the removal. Glad I did because I only have fond memories of her.

stovelid

Look, but don't really like it.

Nuggles

I always check it out.

The make up, the outfit.

It's like Morgue Vogue to me.

jaffa20

Sharpshooter wrote: »

If I didn't know them very well but knew someone in the family through work or whatever, I would not go near the coffin at all.
I think it is an intensely private time for the family and I remember when my mam died seeing people that she didn't have much time for while she was alive coming towards the coffin and touching her hands.

I wanted to jump across the coffin and lead them out of there.:(

But hey, she'd have come back and haunted me for it, because she was a lady through and through so I had to put up with it rather than let her down.

I think if you were close to the deceased and wanted to say goodbye for the last time, that's something you need to do.

But to the fcukers that come just for a look, I say go do something constructive with your time and go away.
And that's putting it nicely.

+1 A lot of people see it as an event rather than a payment of their respect or love for the person.

df1985

i always look, stating the obvious but theyre at peace then, no pain, no disease, no suffering-theyre gone and thats it. i look and think to myself they are hopefully in a better place. (depends on your faith i suppose) If its a close relative i might give them a kiss or hold their hand.

when my dad died we had a wake in the house, and i stayed in the room all night with him-held his hand, chatted to him etc.

everyone deals with death differently. there's no "right" way.

we'llallhavetea_old

i don't go near them.

my friends mam was laid out in the house and i couldn't go near her.

i wouldn't even like to look at a dead cat/dog tbh. so lifeless and depressing.

Kasabian

Cheery thread

JohnnyChimpo

El Weirdo wrote: »

I normally try to crack a sly one off on the face.

This post is AH in its purest form.

Nuggles

I always wonder if anyone would notice if i robbed a ring the corpse had.

Or if the corpse is wearing underwear.

Do they put underwear on corpses?

Sharpshooter

El Weirdo wrote: »

I normally try to crack a sly one off on the face.

So you have a need to see a stiff before you can get one of your own?

El Weirdo

Sharpshooter wrote: »

So you have a need to see a stiff before you can get one of your own?

I don't need to. It just helps.

MoodeRator

Nuggles wrote: »

I always check it out.

The make up, the outfit.

It's like Morgue Vogue to me.

feck you really are twisted! here's my number......:D

seanybiker

Goldenquick wrote: »

my children wouldn't look nor touch anyone in a coffin

Im not in a coffin, would they touch me.


More of a sickipedia answer maybe.

rgt320q

I've only been to one, for my grandmother last year. Went up to the coffin, it was nice to see her one last time, at peace.

Mint Sauce

most of the recent removals i have been to i have been related to the person, and touched their hand as i went past. in the case of my grand aunt who was like a granny to every one, i kissed her forehead as i passed, always gave her a hug and a kiss on the check whilst she was alive when i said good buy, only on this ocassion i was doing it for the last time.

only time i have really felt distressed after a removal was at one for a 2 year old, up close to a small white coffin is one of the most distressing things i have seen/experienced.

dcfc

Dont really like going in unless I knew the person well. Hate when you hear people coming out saying, "ah he/she just looks like themself", ehm, who are they supposed to look like

Abelloid

If isn't too difficult to get the lid off I'll have a peek, yeah.

C_Dawg

I feel it's good to take the opportunity to say goodbye. Plus they're in a good state to remember them. Unfortunately some families don't get this closure depending on how gruesome the death was

Tar.Aldarion

Yes I do, I have to see them one last time.

robinph

Just the idea of them leaving the lid open seems a bit odd? I'm quite happy to take someone else's word for it that there is a body in the box, don't need to see it myself.

Nuggles

I wasn't impressed when I was at a funeral and the dead lady's husband told me I looked just like her and grabbed me into a teary bear hug.

I don't want to look like a corpse.

Nor do I want you man-handling me because I look like the corpse.

I'm just here for the sandwiches and cocktail sausages.

sam34

for family members that have died, i've given them a kiss on the forehead at the end of the removal, when its only family there, just before the coffin is closed. i feel it helps with the grieving process

for non-family, i would walk past the coffin but wouldnt stop or touch them. they're not an exhibition in a zoo for me/others to gawk at