Girlfriend Constantly Trying to Make me Jealous.

LegacyUser

I get on really well with my girlfriend. She's sweet, kind, caring and funny. She does have one annoying habit though. She constantly seems to be trying to make me jealous.

I'm not really the jealous type, and I'm 90% sure she'd never cheat on me, so usually I just act non plussed, or make a joke. But it seems she's trying harder and harder to make me jealous. And it's beginning to work. Not helping is the fact that her best friend cheats on her boyfriend at every chance she gets, and is always trying to persuade my girlfriend to cheat.

At first it was talking about exes, saying this guy looks hot etc.

Then it progressed to "Some really hot guy tried to chat me up today"

Now, it's things like
"My friend keeps trying to get me to sleep with her hot friend"
"I'm at a party with 10 guys and two girls, and two of them have already said they want to sleep with me"

It's childish and insecure, I know. But I don't know how to react. I don't want to seem bothered by it, but acting indifferent just makes her up the ante. Same with trying to do the same thing back to her. It just ends up being a game of one upmanship.

So how do I end these stupid head games?

Communicationb

She is childish and immature and may have self esteem issues. TBH do you really need this crap? What age is she?

Next time she says it....say..."Off with you then"

You state that you get on really well with her. That would suggest that you have just started going out with her?

Memnoch

ofmarkham wrote: »

I get on really well with my girlfriend. She's sweet, kind, caring and funny. She does have one annoying habit though. She constantly seems to be trying to make me jealous.

I'm not really the jealous type, and I'm 90% sure she'd never cheat on me, so usually I just act non plussed, or make a joke. But it seems she's trying harder and harder to make me jealous. And it's beginning to work. Not helping is the fact that her best friend cheats on her boyfriend at every chance she gets, and is always trying to persuade my girlfriend to cheat.

At first it was talking about exes, saying this guy looks hot etc.

Then it progressed to "Some really hot guy tried to chat me up today"

Now, it's things like
"My friend keeps trying to get me to sleep with her hot friend"
"I'm at a party with 10 guys and two girls, and two of them have already said they want to sleep with me"

It's childish and insecure, I know. But I don't know how to react. I don't want to seem bothered by it, but acting indifferent just makes her up the ante. Same with trying to do the same thing back to her. It just ends up being a game of one upmanship.

So how do I end these stupid head games?

This might sound monolithic, but I'm always in favour of a bit of good old fashioned honesty.

Just tell her that you like her, but that this constant talk of finding others attractive is getting past the point of just poking fun and that it's starting to affect your relationship. You want to be with her and does she want to be with you? If so, does she mind leaving others out of your relationship in the future?

Maybe that's the kind of reassurance she is seeking?

ilovetosing

Like someone just said man do you really need that kinda crap? Next time it happens you should tell her that you ain't jealous but her antics annoy you and say if she wants to continue on like that then your off. I would hate to be with someone who was like that! Childish mind games from insecurities are pathetic.

Everyone has some form of hangup about themselves but her method of dealing with them is quite sad a disappointing really

S23

You need to call her on it. Ask her what the point in her trying ot make you jealous is. Then tell her you don't like it and you want her to knock it on the head.

If she persists with this childish behaviour then I know I for one wouldn't be bothered hanging around for that kind of game playing

Peggypeg

Wow, How bloody hurtful is that??? From what you're saying you'd be better off without her, sounds like she has cheating on the brain. Best of luck with such a rotton situation.

kraggy

It's not insecurity on her part. She's just a selfish, attention-seeking wagon.

Get out.

That frame of mind is not a phase, it's part of her.

If she was just insecure, she'd be asking for reassurance etc. but with this she's deliberately seeking to **** with your head. And it will continue.

Get rid. Now.

Kimia

No, I think she's just insecure and 'testing' you. It's up to you if you want to be with someone like that. I don't think there's need to make her out to be the devil though. She likes you, she's just (in a roundabout way) trying to push your buttons to 'prove' that you like her as much.

Have a word and it'll stop. If it doesn't you have a bigger problem.

krudler

Next time you're out tell her a girl offered to have sex with you in the pub toilet, see how quickly she changes her tune.

Thats pathetic behaviour for an adult, tell either it stops or you go.

G-Money

Next time she says some guy wanted to sleep with her or whatever, you could just say "you should go for it" and see what she says.

Seriously though, that kind of s**t would do my head in. I'd be tempted to say "grow up or get the f*** out".

Shayman

ofmarkham wrote: »

She's sweet, kind, caring and funny.

She doesn't sound sweet, kind or caring and as for funny?? If she was any of the first three she wouldn't do this to you. You two need a serious heart to heart. Put her straight on it.

Ickle Magoo

Sit her down and talk to her, it may be insecurity, it may be just be a perverse way to impress you. Tell her she is jeopardising your relationship by making the constant comments about the opportunities she has to be unfaithful - you could try putting the boot on the other foot and remind her that you could cheat if you wanted, how would she feel if you told her of every occasion you could have and didn't and see if she can understand where you are coming from.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

This probably sounds awful, but I would tend to get a bit like your girlfriend is at the moment if I'm sexually frustrated. Not really in a vindictive way, but my boyfriend has a low sex drive as far as I can see, and if I'm out on a night out and it seems every other guy is hitting on me except for him I do sometimes tell him about it just because it can be incredibly frustrating. I think I'm just trying to make him feel jealous and jump me or something but never seems to work!
If everything's fine between you physically though disregard this, because then she's probably just playing games.

Slutmonkey57b

Just tell her you're not a swinger, and if she is, then to find a different boyfriend to swing with. It sounds like she's probably write you off as a boring prude if you did it, but that's her problem.

Like others have said, the language you use gives you away. Clearly she wants to do it, it's only a matter of time. Pull the trigger and see if she jumps.

Kanye

ofmarkham wrote: »

I'm not really the jealous type, and I'm 90% sure she'd never cheat on me, so usually I just act non plussed, or make a joke.

Do you mean nonplussed or nonchalant?

I'm only asking because it has a bearing on what she's doing. If you're acting nonplussed, I imagine that's the reaction she's looking for and she should be happy that you actually do get jealous. It's hard to imagine why she would then try harder to make you even more jealous.

I'm going to assume you mean nonchalant in which case the fact that you're not reacting is going to make her push harder to get the reaction she's looking for.

It sounds like your girlfriend is an extreme case, but pretty much every girl will do this in one form or another. You really do need to be able to say "off with you, then" like someone else said.

It's your choice what reaction you should have but personally, I'd make it very clear that I was outta there if she kept it up.

TitoPuente

Kanye wrote: »

but pretty much every girl will do this in one form or another

Indeed. Real women don't though.