Move Away To Move On?

LegacyUser

i've gone through a very tough breakup .its been 10 months and i'm still in love with my ex and we've been in a lot of contact since the split and this of course is delaying my healing severely. he said he still likes spending time with me and he even said i love you last month which was fantastic but he has no intention of having a relationship with me. I still haven't come to terms with the breakup at all and still miss what we had so much but i think i have gotten used to my life a bit more over the last few months but i still struggle at times.

so heres my dilemma. i'm looking for work and i've applied for a job the other side of dublin as i'm thinking of moving away. i'm still living in the area where i lived with him and i live 5 mins from his job and 15 from where he lives (so theres always a chance of seeing him). Also the reminders are everywhere so hes constantly on my mind and its a killer sometimes.

I'm thinking that if i move to a brand new area, then getting over him should be easier and i just might be able to finally put the pain behind me. we both currently contact each other and go for a drink and then spend the night together but i can see that he doesn't really feel the same for me and its so hard so obviously that would all stop.

any advice would be great. thanks.

Communicationb

Cake...and eating it...springs to mind.

OP....he is using you.....he wants to meet up for the occasional shag but not commit...keeps you at arms length for when it suits him...

You need to take charge of your life and move on...leave him the past and you will meet someone with more maturity.

LegacyUser

well tbh i have a high sex drive and don't want to sleep with random guys so its very handy to sleep with someone who knows me and what i like but obviously i know theres the emotional gamble.

cutting contact is easier said than done though.

Miss Fluff

notmovingon wrote: »

cutting contact is easier said than done though.

That's it in a nutshell. Cutting contact is not easy. Not in the short-term, but the longterm benefits for outweight a comforting, hopeful roll in the hay. It's not rocket-science, you just pretend he is dead. Simple as that. And moving a few miles to another part of Dublin is hardly "moving away", it just minimises the chances of bumping in to him.

If you want to get on with your life rather than be used by him for sex until something better comes along then you need to take those steps yourself. Not being harsh but nobody else will do it for you.

unclecessna

Miss Fluff wrote: »

That's it in a nutshell. Cutting contact is not easy. Not in the short-term, but the longterm benefits for outweight a comforting, hopeful roll in the hay. It's not rocket-science, you just pretend he is dead. Simple as that. And moving a few miles to another part of Dublin is hardly "moving away", it just minimises the chances of bumping in to him.

If you want to get on with your life rather than be used by him for sex until something better comes along then you need to take those steps yourself. Not being harsh but nobody else will do it for you.

+1

It always sucks to be in that kind of situation OP so a change of scenery can only help you in moving on and putting this all behind you.

Best of luck!

Peggypeg

Wow, you really have it bad don't you??? No one is fooled by you saying that he's handy for sex, be honest; have you really been able to have no strings/emotionless sex with him??? I very much doubt it. You're going to have to start being honest with yourself to make any kind of meaningful change.

Yes move away, delete his number, he's dead to you now, it's OVER, only when you believe this will you be happy.

I wish you the very best of luck but you're going to have to stop fooling yourself to get over him.