Tit Monday

billymitchell

"Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now...

That glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.

After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.

Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...

And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.

And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.

So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.

As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make."

Is it Tit Monday in your area today?

SV

billymitchell wrote: »

Is it Tit Monday in your area today?

It's sunday..

Kanye

There's no fukkin excuse for having two Mondays in one week. None.


Plus I'm at home with my mum.

Ruu_Old

I hate the word tit!

hiscan

It's one of the breast days of the year :D

bronte

I should really go start a thread about cock friday.

bonerm

Kanye wrote: »

There's no fukkin excuse for having two Mondays in one week. None.

What if they were bank holiday Mondays?

GLaDOS

This was amusing the first time, now it's pathetic

keithg89

hiscan wrote: »

It's one of the breast days of the year :D

get your coat

Smeggy

There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers ...

WHA???!

mikom

billymitchell wrote: »

Tit

a mate

birds

dollies

they're all standing outside All Bar One after work

one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.

Please leave that shite in England where it was born.

Kanye

bronte wrote: »

I should really go start a thread about cock friday.

That's every Friday for some girls and it's not dependent on weather.

bonerm

mikom wrote: »

Please leave that shite in England where it was born.

Appreciation of the female form. What were they thinking?!?

hiscan

keithg89 wrote: »

get your coat

I think I will,there's a bit of a nip in the air.:rolleyes:

force majeure

I'm driving to old Galway tomorrow in my van, if I see any thing like what you describe I well endeavor to let you know. Although giving my eyes I doubt I see anything bar the back end off a dls Nissan. :cool:

JGEP

I like boobs!

Bog

JGEP wrote: »

I like boobs!

What a magnificent first post.

force majeure

JGEP wrote: »

I like boobs!

Technically boobs are breasts
tits are nipples.

Bog

Bog wrote: »

What a magnificent first post.

yep...post of the day surely..

bonerm

Deleted User wrote: »

yep...post of the day surely..

Well at least you know where the person stands on the issue. You'd be hard pressed getting that sort of commitment out of a politician.

Michellenman

force majeure wrote: »

Technically boobs are breasts
tits are nipples.

Eh, what? No they're not! Tits=boobs!

Check out the tits on this..

wolfric

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7_WmRm3OLc

wolfric

bonerm wrote: »

Yer wan at 0:31 is a pornstar btw not just some randomer off the street.

(or so I've heard)

I know i thought she was going to be like "i work in the supermarket" not " i wear gstrings and get naked for people all the time i do naughty porno videos"

Tigger

tight t-shirt monday in my day

as a biker i have to say its nice that us being out for fun rater that transport coencides with this phenonomenon

mikom

Originally Posted by bonerm
Yer wan at 0:31 is a pornstar btw not just some randomer off the street.

(or so I've heard)


Looks like Lolly Badcock alright.

dylano_k

bonerm wrote: »

What if they were bank holiday Mondays?

If one of them is tit monday...then its **** holiday monday

Numina

Well, I hope you all enjoyed your Tit Monday.

orourkeda

I just saw knockers. HOORAH

billymitchell

There are quiet a few knockers of "Tit Monday" on here. :rolleyes:

Morlar

Numina wrote: »

Well, I hope you all enjoyed your Tit Monday.

You know it actually wasn't bad. That op is psychic or something.

force majeure

Tit Monday, what a let down, half the day in my van and not a dicky bird. The other half spent on the beach where I saw even less.

FlutterinBantam

Bog wrote: »

What a magnificent first post.

Jaysus, don't encourage him.

bazmaiden

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Jaysus, don't encourage him.

to enjoy boobage!!!!:eek:

parker kent

SV wrote: »

It's sunday..

Did you read what he said?!

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.

I had a very enjoyable day of college today, string tops+no bra=va va voom

billymitchell

Ladies do not get all dressed up not to be admired!
Why else would they do it?

krustydoyle

A certain college in carlow was in fine form today... the heat certainly brings them out so long last the good weather...;):D;)

bonerm

krustydoyle wrote: »

A certain college in carlow was in fine form today... the heat certainly brings them out so long last the good weather...;):D;)

Speaking of which, I heard Tralee and Tallaght Institutes of Technology were looking good today as well.

Oh I'm such a Waterford Institute of Technology, I am! :rolleyes:

billymitchell

bonerm wrote: »

Speaking of which, I heard Tralee and Tallaght Institutes of Technology were looking good today as well.

Oh I'm such a Waterford Institute of Technology, I am! :rolleyes:

http://www.motormint.com/ProductImages/fullsize/TAXI.jpg
This one is on me bonerm

ejmaztec

For any interested ladies, it'll soon be Wienersday.