What to do about this...

LegacyUser

Hi everybody,

Please bear with me as I might ramble alot. I'm just looking for a bit of advise on what to do here... I've basically got myself stuck in a messy situation with my girlfriend...

Myself and my girlfriend are going out with each other for nearly a year and a half now and are very much in love. I couldn't be happier about things and neither could she. I see my whole future with her and she makes me the happiest man on the planet. I would like to think that I'm a good boyfriend as I put everything in my heart into the relationship. Words can't describe how good of a girlfriend she is.

So here's where the problem is. Myself and a few of my friends went to a festival last year and had a mental time, it was meant to be a lads weekend away so she didn't come. One of the very drunken festival nights myself and a friend of mine who is single, bumped into these two girls from another country. We had the craic and my friend kissed the girl he was talking to. The two girls invited us back to their tent for a few beers and the craic. I thought to myself, what harm will a couple of beers do and agreed to go along with my mate, his girl and her friend.

On the way, her friend started flirting with me. I nipped it in the bud straight away and said that nothing is going to happen, I have a girlfriend and I love her. We had the craic after that and she had gone very cold with me. I wasn't very bothered by this and so continued on to the tent. We had a few cans there and I was fairly plastered at this stage, spilled beer all over their tent (we were inside as it started to rain), I proceeded then to fall asleep in the corner, with my mate, his girl and the other girl lying straight.

Next morning I woke up, got out of the tent and went back to our own tents (different campsite). Although nothing happened or ever was going to happen, I felt really guilty for even being in their tent. I asked my friend, how was I ever going to explain that to my girlfriend?! I knew it would hurt her feelings regardless of me being faithful or not. He said, listen, nothing happened, just keep it to yourself. You have nothing to be guilty about. I agreed, however I am the type of guy that tells my girlfriend everything about me, so I knew it was going to be hard for me to do but I did it for the sake of not upsetting her.

Last night a conversation come up about my friend (same one at festival) about how he isn't seen with very many women. Not that he doesn't have admirers, he seems to choose not to be with anyone, which is good on him. We were kind of joking about how he could be gay or bi, and nobody would know it.

I mentioned all of the girls I've seen him with including his ex, and I also then mentioned the girl at the festival. Immediately when I said it I felt guilt overpower me and I started blushing and became almost speechless. My girlfriend noticed this straight away and mentioned it to me. I mumbled for another half a minute and in a panic I then did the one thing I am truly regretting now. I lied to her and said that he was with a girl that had a gay friend with her at the festival and that he went back to the tent with them and that the reason for my blush was that it was a secret that my friend did not want anybody to know about. I also said for her to not mention it to anyone, not to even joke about it.

We then had a bit of an arguement about how I didn't seem to trust her (which I do 100%) with something said in such confidence and left what was a lovely evening together in a big mess. When I got home I rang her contemplating that it was all untrue and that I wanted to tell her what really happened. The phone rang out twice as she was on another call, she then rang me back and by that stage I decided it would be better to tell her in person if I was going to tell her at all. We had another bit of an arguement on the phone about my trust for her (again I trust her 100%).

I am an absolute idiot, I lied to the person that I trust 100% and to a girl that trusts me 100%, to the person that I love and one day want to get married to. I have made a huge mess out of this situation and I let my fear of hurting her get in the way of the truth. I also showed a complete lack of respect for my friend by concocting a idiotic story to help myself out of a messy situation. On top of that I hid this festival story from my girlfriend for a number of months now and I fear that I will pay the ultimate price for it. I didn't sleep a wink last night, and I don't think I will for a while yet after this mess.

I am not sure how I can even say this to my girlfriend now, but out of respect for her and our relationship I feel like I have to.

Could I please have your opinions on this? I just really need advice...

Many thanks for reading through all of that and I look forward to your replies.

C.

Katgurl

Show her your post. You've done nothing wrong bar behave a bit foolishly

Taltos

Agreed - and in my view - the only thing you did wrong here was lie / deceive about going for drinks with some randomers.