"Cleaning the Pipes before a date"

Burkatron

My girlfriend is watching There's something about Mary for the 1st time & is now grilling me about "cleaning the pipes" before dates! Luckily she's now ran to the toilet but she wants to continue the conversation! Funniest answer will be used!

4zn76tysfajdxp

Burkatron wrote: »

My girlfriend is watching There's something about Mary for the 1st time & is now grilling me about "cleaning the pipes" before dates! Luckily she's now ran to the toilet but she wants to continue the conversation!

Cleaning out her own pipes, is she?

admiralofthefleet

its whats done after a shot up the bonus tunnel

andy winter

Burkatron wrote: »

My girlfriend is watching There's something about Mary for the 1st time & is now grilling me about "cleaning the pipes" before dates! Luckily she's now ran to the toilet but she wants to continue the conversation! Funniest answer will be used!

Just 'show' her how to do it!

jonnygiles

Hold on there love, im going getting some of my homemade hair gel, be back in a minute!!!

BraziliaNZ

Tell her you don't need to you just bang your girlfriend before dates nowadays. Oh wait.

andy winter

Edgar Puny Composer wrote: »

Cleaning out her own pipes, is she?

winner!

Stinicker

Just tell her its to get the older lazy sperm out of the way to make room for the fast athletic ones so you have a better chance of knocking her up! :pac:

speedboatchase

How do you know you'll have time - she doin a massive sh1te?

andy winter

speedboatchase wrote: »

How do you know you'll have time - she doin a massive sh1te?

Haa Haa

read my mind!

just about to post that!

Dirrty bstards:pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

corkcomp

Burkatron wrote: »

is now grilling me about "cleaning the pipes" before dates!

exactly what sort of "dates" does she think you are going on:eek::pac:

AnonoBoy

Make-And-Do Time is it?


Pipe Cleaners!

Midnight_EG

Have a ****, catch it in your hand and then exclaim ' Here, have the fcuking things if you really want em!'

andy winter

Update please OP?

InkSlinger67

I used to do it all the time but not anymore. I find sticking a pipe cleaner down my japs eye too painful and makes post-date sex sting a little

twinQuins

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

I find sticking a pipe cleaner down my japs eye too painful and makes post-date sex sting a little

wat

Midnight_EG

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

I used to do it all the time but not anymore. I find sticking a pipe cleaner down my japs eye too painful and makes post-date sex sting a little

MENTAL.

FUCKING.

IMAGE.


EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

bazmaiden

tell her theres a recession on and you can't afford shock waves

FearDark

When I was a youngfella, used always clean the pipes a few hours before I knew I was getting some. Nowadays its the opposite, wouldn't dream of it otherwise I'd be going for hours

epgc3fyqirnbsx

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

I used to do it all the time but not anymore. I find sticking a pipe cleaner down my japs eye too painful and makes post-date sex sting a little

I used caustic soda once *ouch*:o

Rented Mule

Stinicker wrote: »

Just tell her its to get the older lazy sperm out of the way to make room for the fast athletic ones so you have a better chance of knocking her up! :pac:

Tell her a fresh load tastes better.

Overheal

I didnt clean the pipes.

And then there we were walking down the Daytona Beach, me in my swim shorts, with a massive hard-on.

Children stared.

Abi

Burkatron wrote: »

My girlfriend is watching There's something about Mary for the 1st time & is now grilling me about "cleaning the pipes" before dates! Luckily she's now ran to the toilet but she wants to continue the conversation! Funniest answer will be used!

Tell her her to clean them out for you, tbh.

Overheal

Abitar wrote: »

Tell her her to clean them out for you, tbh.

That depends is she the girlfriend of 3 days or 3 years? :pac: Dont scare her off

andy winter

Overheal wrote: »

That depends is she the girlfriend of 3 days or 3 years? :pac: Dont scare her off

Yeah, if she is GF of 3 years forget about getting your pipes cleaned

If she is on the other hand the GF of 3 day's , tell her ALL the girl's are doing this now, even Cheryl Cole! :pac::pac::pac::pac:

Abi

Overheal wrote: »

That depends is she the girlfriend of 3 days or 3 years? :pac: Dont scare her off

I can't believe I've to say this to a guy... but here goes....

"If shes worth her salt..." :pac:

2 stroke

Pipe cleaners???. Didn't realise I was doing it wrong, thought hoover was the right way.

Abi

2 stroke wrote: »

Pipe cleaners???. Didn't realise I was doing it wrong, thought hoover was the right way.

/sly giggle @ username



I'm dreading Flutters version of 'cleaning out the pipes' 0/

AckwelFoley

Im sure flut has a bog standard response for this

Tigger

Overheal wrote: »

I didnt clean the pipes.

And then there we were walking down the Daytona Beach, me in my swim shorts, with a massive hard-on.

Children stared.

Very much doubt it was " massive "

andy winter

Overheal wrote: »

I didn't clean the pipes.

And then there we were walking down the Daytona Beach, me in my swim shorts, with a passive hard-on.

Children stared..

Abi

Tigger wrote: »

Very much doubt it was " massive "

Have you seen his hard-on? or why doubt it's size? or maybe you are one of these sorts that thinks 'massive' means beeyootivul / gowergiz?

Panthro

tell her its what gentlemen call "having an aul chugg":D

epgc3fyqirnbsx

mutual masturbation ftw

Abi

Lauren Delicious Gin wrote: »

mutual masturbation ftw

Oral?


she goes first or the deal is off.

orourkeda

Bend her and ram a broom handle up her botty

Pipes cleaned. Job done

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Abitar wrote: »

Oral?


she goes first or the deal is off.

Ney, what i mean is if you're both gonna be cleaning pipes you may as well watch each other doing it for sh1ts and giggles
Educational, Erotic and Extremely good fun

Abi

Lauren Delicious Gin wrote: »

Ney, what i mean is if you're both gonna be cleaning pipes you may as well watch each other doing it for sh1ts and giggles
Educational, Erotic and Extremely good fun

Lol ... I know what it means.. and I concur it is fun. I just preferred my suggestion

Kasabian

Abitar wrote: »

Oral?


she goes first or the deal is off.

Ladies are always first;):P <

---

see this little fella he knows

epgc3fyqirnbsx

lonad wrote: »

Ladies are always first;):P <

---

see this little fella he knows

And your little fella is right, big risk of 'sleep' if you let the fella go first (greedy male bastards)

Kasabian

Lauren Delicious Gin wrote: »

And your little fella is right, big risk of 'sleep' if you let the fella go first (greedy male bastards)

Sssh , there's ladies about:pac:

Abi

I dont think so. You'd wake up to find yourself tied to each end of the bed.


*angel face*

landsleaving

I'm intrigued... do go on.

andy winter

landsleaving wrote: »

I'm intrigued horny... do go on.

:p:p

Abi

In all seriousness though, why should it stop at the first... round? there are ways and means of kicking things off again. You just have to be inventive about it.

landsleaving wrote: »

I'm intrigued... do go on.

Leave the wrong girl high and dry and you'll see.


/tightens ropes

Sofaspud

Abitar wrote: »

Leave the wrong girl high and dry and you'll see.


/tightens ropes

Or the right girl . . .

Cook!eMonster

im confused, is cleaning the pipes the same as going out with a loaded gun?

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Cook!eMonster wrote: »

im confused, is cleaning the pipes the same as going out with a loaded gun?

It's the opposite...

entropi

Abitar wrote: »

In all seriousness though, why should it stop at the first... round? there are ways and means of kicking things off again. You just have to be inventive about it.

I see you've played this type of game before...kicking them off would not be a good thing:pac:

Abi

Sofaspud wrote: »

Or the right girl . . .

Thats the one! :pac:

Cook!eMonster

Lauren Delicious Gin wrote: »

It's the opposite...

well i meant in relation to the movie theres something about mary lol but i understand:D thanks for clearing that up!