"Go way, ye wife-swappin' sodomites!"

Dionysus

For some bizarre reason this absolute legend of a line entered my head this evening. Why does Irish politics not produce these gems anymore?

Yes, it's from the mind of the same woman who, also in 1995, summed up the consequences of divorce in four words:

"Hello divorce, goodbye Daddy"

Legend! Úna Bean Mhic Mhathúna - where are you now when Ireland needs your colour to brighten up these dark recessionary days?




What comments/lines/quips/soundbites in Irish politics and history still put a smile on your face and even make you laugh?

friendface

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugailEn8U5o

Dionysus

Joe Higgins is another gem. Despairing at Ahern not answering his question in the Dáil one day, Higgins exclaimed:

"Asking the Taoiseach a question is like trying to play handball against a haystack. You hear a dull thud and the ball never comes back to you."

FearDark

EDIT: Beaten to it...For **** sake, i need broadband that isnt from Eircom where it takes 3 minutes to load a youtube page!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Bob Geldof : 'Give us your focking money!'

friendface

FearDark wrote: »

EDIT: Beaten to it...For **** sake, i need broadband that isnt from Eircom where it takes 3 minutes to load a youtube page!

UPC 20mb FTW :pac:

RayM

Not exactly a quip, but this correction from the Irish Times, a few years ago, amused me:

A preview in Saturday's Irish Times on Fitzgerald at 80, RTE Television's four part series based on interviews with Dr Garret Fitzgerald, incorrectly attributed a comment to the former taoiseach. The preview quoted Dr Fitzgerald saying that in his early career he was "rather juvenile in manner, full-up with myself and a good deal of a prick"

Dr Fitzgerald has since pointed out that he would never, and did not on this occassion, use such language. The word he used was "prig". The error is regretted.

opinion guy

Dionysus wrote: »

For some bizarre reason this absolute legend of a line entered my head this evening. Why does Irish politics not produce these gems anymore?

Yes, it's from the mind of the same woman who, also in 1995, summed up the consequences of divorce in four words:

"Hello divorce, goodbye Daddy"

Legend! Úna Bean Mhic Mhathúna - where are you now when Ireland needs your colour to brighten up these dark recessionary days?




What comments/lines/quips/soundbites in Irish politics and history still put a smile on your face and even make you laugh?

Are you serious ? U think its clever that some bible bashing loon tries to tie our nation to the past, tries to tie unhappy people into marriages that that have long since failed by simplyfing a complex issue like divorce into four words that manage to capture sentiments of pure ignorance in order to influence those uneducated enough to see thru it ?? (The creationists would be proud - it takes talent to come up with that sort of complexity-wrecking dull-wittedness)

Ninja edit: sigh....am I just after feeding a sub-bridge dwelling creature ???:(

mayoman ngalway

"F c u k you deputy stag"


:P

Dionysus

opinion guy wrote: »

Are you serious ? U think its clever that some bible bashing loon tries to tie our nation to the past, tries to tie unhappy people into marriages that that have long since failed by simplyfing a complex issue like divorce into four words that manage to capture sentiments of pure ignorance in order to influence those uneducated enough to see thru it ??

Ninja edit: sigh....am I just after feeding a sub-bridge dwelling creature ???:(

Oh Jesus, get over yourself. Or get help. Or both.

recylingbin

There's some sheep on the road, Mick.

BOOM

friendface

Go too 4:10 in this clip http://www.rte.ie/player/#v=1069949

Padraic McCormick refutes being called the gurrier-in-chief of the opposition

Dionysus

Martin McGuinness addressing Sammy Wilson in the Stormont Assembly, shortly after Sammy Wilson appeared in the Sunday World naked with his girlfriend:

"It is also very good to come across someone like Mr Sammy Wilson, whom I have never met, and it is great to see him today with his clothes on."

Even the DUP MLAs couldn't hold back the smile.

c_o_ck p_i_ss chillage

Livia Prehistoric Schoolgirl wrote: »

Bob Geldof : 'Give us your focking money!'

Bob never said that, he said - "Fock the address, let's get the numbers!"

OP mine is Brian Cowen being called an "economic traitor" by Eamon Gilmore

opinion guy

Dionysus wrote: »

Oh Jesus, get over yourself. Or get help. Or both.

Excuse me? Do you have anything particular to say or is that just personal abuse ?

jill_valentine

"There was no sex in Ireland before television" remains quite the classic.

Dionysus

opinion guy wrote: »

Excuse me? Do you have anything particular to say or is that just personal abuse ?

As I said: get over yourself. Get a sense of humour. Get something other than misery. Like perspective.

Oh, and don't bother attempting to take the moral high ground on the issue of "personal abuse" after that post.

Dionysus

jill_valentine wrote: »

"There was no sex in Ireland before television" remains quite the classic.

Oliver J Flanagan? (somebody changed it to the Late Late along the way, it appears)

Dionysus

I just did a quick Google of Oliver J, Flanagan, whom I first heard about from a brief mention in Christy Moore's Lisdoonvarna - 'Oliver J. Flanagan goes swimming in the Holy Sea'. He was up there with Ian Paisley anyday, it seems.

Read this for a gem:

"How is it that we do not see any of these [Emergency Powers] Acts directed against the Jews, who crucified Our Saviour nineteen hundred years ago, and who are crucifying us every day in the week? How is it that we do not see them directed against the Masonic Order? How is it that the I.R.A. is considered an illegal organisation while the Masonic Order is not considered an illegal organisation? [...] There is one thing that Germany did, and that was to rout the Jews out of their country. Until we rout the Jews out of this country it does not matter a hair's breadth what orders you make. Where the bees are there is the honey, and where the Jews are there is the money.”

—Oliver Flanagan, Dáil Éireann, 9 July 1943.

opinion guy

Dionysus wrote: »

As I said: get over yourself. Get a sense of humour. Get something other than misery. Like perspective.

Oh, and don't bother attempting to take the moral high ground on the issue of "personal abuse" after that post.

Sorry why don't you get over yourself. Someone doesn't agree with your ever sentiment. Deal with it
Religious nut-jobs trying to influence democracy isn't funny. Your post seemed to admire this kind of thing. Oh and quite apart from that - it wasn't funny. Paul Gogarty saying "**** you" to emmett stag. Now that's comedy

Dionysus

opinion guy wrote: »

Sorry why don't you get over yourself. Someone doesn't agree with your ever sentiment. Deal with it
Religious nut-jobs trying to influence democracy isn't funny. Your post seemed to admire this kind of thing. Oh and quite apart from that - it wasn't funny. Paul Gogarty saying "**** you" to emmett stag. Now that's comedy

:rolleyes:

Moving on....

Dionysus

Dublin TD Frank Sherwin gives his views on the entry of women into An Garda Síochána in 1958.

"While recruits should not be actually horse-faced, they should not be too good looking; they should be just plain women and not targets for marriage".

Frank Sherwin TD, Dáil Éireann, 22 May 1958

KevinVonSpiel

What about the auld one on the day that the pensioners went up en masse to the Dail, some minister bod' was telling them some official line & she says something like: you're full of sh/t...

mayoman ngalway

opinion guy wrote: »

Oh and quite apart from that - it wasn't funny. Paul Gogarty saying "**** you" to emmett stag. Now that's comedy

HAY THAT'S WHAT I SAID

eddie the eagle

The guy was a Legend

alanajane

Now I useless with names and dates but I think it was Charlie McCreevy who opened his Budget speech by saying "this is a radical budget", and from the background all you could hear was Michael Noonan shouting "Pol Pot was radical"......the limerick accent nailed it....:D:D

mike65

Dionysus wrote: »

I just did a quick Google of Oliver J, Flanagan, whom I first heard about from a brief mention in Christy Moore's Lisdoonvarna - 'Oliver J. Flanagan goes swimming in the Holy Sea'. He was up there with Ian Paisley anyday, it seems.

Read this for a gem:

"How is it that we do not see any of these [Emergency Powers] Acts directed against the Jews, who crucified Our Saviour nineteen hundred years ago, and who are crucifying us every day in the week? How is it that we do not see them directed against the Masonic Order? How is it that the I.R.A. is considered an illegal organisation while the Masonic Order is not considered an illegal organisation? [...] There is one thing that Germany did, and that was to rout the Jews out of their country. Until we rout the Jews out of this country it does not matter a hair's breadth what orders you make. Where the bees are there is the honey, and where the Jews are there is the money.”

—Oliver Flanagan, Dáil Éireann, 9 July 1943.

I'm old enough to remember the last dying breaths of that wretched man and his female version Alice Glenn (FG really could pick them back in the olden days). That Ireland would curl the hairs of most After Hours readers if they got transported back.

Sofiztikated

opinion guy wrote: »

Excuse me? Do you have anything particular to say or is that just personal abuse ?

He only quoted what she said, as it was quick witted and humorous. He didn't say she should rule the world.

You're the one trying to stay the thread way off topic.

lugha

mike65 wrote: »

I'm old enough to remember the last dying breaths of that wretched man and his female version Alice Glenn (FG really could pick them back in the olden days). That Ireland would curl the hairs of most After Hours readers if they got transported back.

Didn't Alice say "A woman voting for divorce would be like a turkey voting for Christmas" and was subsequently taunted by Mary Harney that "the turkeys didn't come out to vote this time" when she lost her seat?

Oh, and "get your rosaries of our ovaries" was another one. Albeit from the other side of the fence :pac:.

Dionysus

I love this one from Haughey to John Waters in a Hot Press interview:

"The sort of smug know-all commentator - I suppose if anything annoys me, that annoys me... I could instance a load of fuc kers whose throat I'd cut, and push over the nearest cliff, but there's no percentage in that."

- Hot Press, November 29th, 1984.

aDeener

This would bring a smile to any irishman's face. The long fellas greatest moment:

"I have here before me the pencilled notes from which I broadcast to you on 3 September 1939. I had so many other things to do on that day that I could not find time to piece them together into a connected statement. From these notes I see that I said that noting the march of events your Government had decided its policy the previous spring, and had announced its decision to the world.

The aim of our policy, I said, would to keep our people out of the war. I reminded you of what I had said in the Dail that in our circumstances, with our history and our experience after the last war and with a part of our country still unjustly severed from us; no other policy was possible.

Certain newspapers have been very persistent in looking for my answer to Mr. Churchill's recent broadcast. I know the kind of answer I am expected to make. I know the answer that first springs to the lips of every man of Irish blood who heard or read that speech, no matter in what circumstances or in what part of the world he found himself.

I know the reply I would have given a quarter of a century ago. But I have deliberately decided that that is not the reply I shall make tonight. I shall strive not to be guilty of adding any fuel to the flames of hatred and passion which, if continued to be fed, promise to burn up whatever is left by the war of decent human feeling in Europe.

Allowances can be made for Mr. Churchill's statement, however unworthy, in the first flush of his victory. No such excuse could be found for me in this quieter atmosphere. There are, however some things which it is my duty to say, some things which it is essential to say. I shall try to say them as dispassionately as I can.

Mr. Churchill makes it clear that, in certain circumstances, he would have violated our neutrality and that he would justify his action by Britain's necessity. It seems strange to me that Mr. Churchill does not see that this, if accepted, would mean Britain's necessity would become a moral code and that when this necessity became sufficiently great, other people's rights were not to count.

It is quite true that other great Powers believe in this same code-in their own regard-and have behaved in accordance with it. That is precisely why we have the disastrous succession of wars-World War No. I and World War No. 2 and shall it be World War No. 3?

Surely Mr. Churchill must see that if his contention be admitted in our regard, a like justification can be framed for similar acts of aggression elsewhere and no small nation adjoining a great Power could ever hope to be permitted to go it own way in peace.

It is indeed fortunate that Britain's necessity did not reach the point when Mr. Churchill would have acted. All credit to him that he successfully resisted the temptation which, I have not doubt, may times assailed him in his difficulties and to which I freely admit many leaders might have easily succumbed. It is indeed; hard for the strong to be just to the weak, but acting justly always has its rewards.

By resisting his temptation in this instance, Mr. Churchill, instead of adding another horrid chapter to the already bloodstained record of the relations between England and this country, has advanced the cause of international morality an important step-one of the most important, indeed, that can be taken on the road to the establishment of any sure basis for peace.

As far as the peoples of these two islands are concerned, it may, perhaps, mark a fresh beginning towards the realisation of that mutual comprehension to which Mr. Churchill has referred for which, I hope, he will not merely pray but work also, as did his predecessor who will yet, I believe, find the honoured place in British history which is due to him, as certainly he will find it in any fair record of the relations between Britain and ourselves.

That Mr. Churchill should be irritated when our neutrality stood in the way of what he thought he vitally needed, I understand, but that he or any thinking person in Britain or elsewhere should fail to see the reason for our neutrality, I find it hard to conceive.

I would like to put a hypothetical question-it is a question I have put to many Englishmen since the last war. Suppose Germany had won the war, had invaded and occupied England, and that after a long lapse of time and many bitter struggles, she was finally brought to acquiesce in admitting England's right to freedom, and let England go, but not the whole of England, all but, let us say, the six southern counties.

These six southern counties, those, let us suppose, commanding the entrance to the narrow seas, Germany had singled out and insisted on holding herself with a view to weakening England as a whole, and maintaining the securing of her own communications through the Straits of Dover.

Let us suppose further, that after all this had happened, Germany was engaged in a great war in which she could show that she was on the side of freedom of a number of small nations, would Mr. Churchill as an Englishman who believed that his own nation had as good a right to freedom as any other, not freedom for a part merely, but freedom for the whole-would he, whilst Germany still maintained the partition of his country and occupied six counties of it, would he lead this partitioned England to join with Germany in a crusade? I do not think Mr. Churchill would.

Would he think the people of partitioned England an object of shame if they stood neutral in such circumstances? I do not think Mr. Churchill would.

Mr. Churchill is proud of Britain's stand alone, after France had fallen and before America entered the War.

Could he not find in his heart the generosity to acknowledge that there is a small nation that stood alone not for one year or two, but for several hundred years against aggression; that endured spoliation's, famines, massacres in endless succession; that was clubbed many times into insensibility, but that each time on returning consciousness took up the fight anew; a small nation that could never be got to accept defeat and has never surrendered her soul?

Mr. Churchill is justly proud of his nation's perseverance against heavy odds. But we in this island are still prouder of our people's perseverance for freedom through all the centuries. We, of our time, have played our part in the perseverance, and we have pledged our selves to the dead generations who have preserved intact for us this glorious heritage, that we, too, will strive to be faithful to the end, and pass on this tradition unblemished.

Many a time in the past there appeared little hope except that hope to which Mr. Churchill referred, that by standing fast a time would come when, to quote his own words: "…the tyrant would make some ghastly mistake which would alter the whole balance of the struggle."

I sincerely trust, however, that it is not thus our ultimate unity and freedom will be achieved, though as a younger man I confess I prayed even for that, and indeed at times saw not other.

In latter years, I have had a vision of a nobler and better ending, better for both our people and for the future of mankind. For that I have now been long working. I regret that it is not to this nobler purpose that Mr. Churchill is lending his hand rather than, by the abuse of a people who have done him no wrong, trying to find in a crisis like the present excuse for continuing the injustice of the mutilation of our country.

I sincerely hope that Mr. Churchill has not deliberately chosen the latter course but, if he has, however regretfully we may say it, we can only say, be it so.

Meanwhile, even as a partitioned small nation, we shall go on and strive to play our part in the world continuing unswervingly to work for the cause of true freedom and for peace and understanding"

Dionysus

And if ever there was an example of political suicide here is Pee Flynn covering himself in glory on the Late, Late Show in 1999:


Pádraig Flynn tells of his struggles as an MEP

All of the above is worth looking at but go to 2.37 for the start of his real glory.

Dionysus

Now on youtube, aDeener:

DeValera v Churchill, 8 May 1945

happyfriday

Some of the older ones are a little bit ahead of my time! The one about Charles Haughey telling the country to tighten their belts while he was buying Islands always struck me as rather funny though!!

Then there was himself, this was from the general election in 2007

We will not get into auction politics, just coming up with ideas put in by this one or that one and putting them all together and having a mish-mash and putting out totally uncosted policies.
Bertie Ahern

francois

Joe Higgins on Bertie's conversion to "socialism"

"You can imagine, Cheann Comhairle, how perplexed I was when I returned to find my wardrobe almost empty. The Taoiseach had been busy robbing my clothes.

"Up to recently the Progressive Democrats did not have a stitch left due to the same Taoiseach, but we never expected him to take a walk on the left side of the road."

"I then thought: ’Good, Taoiseach. There are two of us in it, and we will go down together.’

Kaizer Sosa

This is a vague recollection but anyways I'll set the scene. Haughey is under investigation for something dodgey and ace reporter Charlie Bird is sent to ask him the questions that matter. Charlie B meets him in a supermarket and immediately starts the interrogation, Haughey lets him finish and without addressing any of the questions asked nonchalantly pipes up with "Ah Charlie, my feathered friend....."

dilallio

Or the story about the FF minister who was stopped for drunk driving in 1962 while driving the wrong way down a one-way system.
The garda asked him "Did you not see the arrows?"
To which he replied "What arrows - I didn't even see the bloody Indians"

I also remember after a particularly tough budget in the late 80's or early 90's when VAT was increased on children's clothes & shoes along with large hikes in alcohol & cigarettes, RTE asked Limerick TD Michael Noonan who was then opposition spokesman for Finance, what he thought of the budget.
"It's a great budget for anyone who doesn't drink, smoke, or wear clothes"

Mr.Applepie

opinion guy wrote: »

Sorry why don't you get over yourself. Someone doesn't agree with your ever sentiment. Deal with it
Religious nut-jobs trying to influence democracy isn't funny. Your post seemed to admire this kind of thing. Oh and quite apart from that - it wasn't funny. Paul Gogarty saying "**** you" to emmett stag. Now that's comedy

Not allowing the religious nut-jobs a say isn't very democratic. The whole point of democracy is that even the craziest nut-job can have his way if he can get enough people to support him.

itsallaboutheL

mayoman ngalway wrote: »

HAY THAT'S WHAT I SAID

*buzzes in*

is the answer, quote from a hungry horse?

Amhran Nua

Dionysus wrote: »

Dublin TD Frank Sherwin gives his views on the entry of women into An Garda Síochána in 1958.

"While recruits should not be actually horse-faced, they should not be too good looking; they should be just plain women and not targets for marriage".

Frank Sherwin TD, Dáil Éireann, 22 May 1958

Hahah, that reminds of an early garda report from the 1930s I read a few years back, detailing a surprise inspection of a rustic garda barracks, the guards were all blitzed and vomiting into their hats and whatnot, and some tried to make good their escape on the boneshakers. Haven't a notion of finding the details now though.

Dyr

aDeener wrote: »

This would bring a smile to any irishman's face. The long fellas greatest moment:

"I have here before me the pencilled notes from which I broadcast to you on 3 September 1939. I had so many other things to do on that day that I could not find time to piece them together into a connected statement. From these ...blah blah blah"

Short version: "FOCK YOU deputy Churchill fock you!!"

constitutionus

one of my favorite recent ones.

"3.82 a share? that sounds great value to me, do you think those shares will be 3.82 in a few years time? if i was you i'd buy those shares, thats what i'd do !"

bertie ahearn on BOI shares circa 2007

Dionysus

Speaking of people encouraging us to spend money in the boom, anytime I see that Brendan O'Connor guy I can't help but think of this:

'The smart, ballsy guys are buying up property right now.... Tell you what, I think I know what I'd be doing if I had money, and if I wasn't already massively over-exposed to the property market by virtue of owning a reasonable home. I'd be buying property.... So why would I be buying property right now if I could? Well, for starters, property is good value these days. It's certainly cheaper than it was six months ago.'

- Brendan O'Connor, The Sunday Independent, 29 July 2007.

From Quotes from the Property Bubble (excellent site for laughing/crying/despairing at all the people who got it wrong, by the way)

opinion guy

Dionysus wrote: »

'The smart, ballsy guys are buying up property right now.... Tell you what, I think I know what I'd be doing if I had money, and if I wasn't already massively over-exposed to the property market by virtue of owning a reasonable home. I'd be buying property.... So why would I be buying property right now if I could? Well, for starters, property is good value these days. It's certainly cheaper than it was six months ago.'

- Brendan O'Connor, The Sunday Independent, 29 July 2007.

From Quotes from the Property Bubble (excellent site for laughing/crying/despairing at all the people who got it wrong, by the way)

Guy with a public voice says: I'm massively exposed to this potential crash so you should all buy houses now so I don't lose any money. You all have small penises if you don't!!!

Isn't this attempting the manipulate the market. Is that even legal ?

K-9

dilallio wrote: »

Or the story about the FF minister who was stopped for drunk driving in 1962 while driving the wrong way down a one-way system.
The garda asked him "Did you not see the arrows?"
To which he replied "What arrows - I didn't even see the bloody Indians"

I also remember after a particularly tough budget in the late 80's or early 90's when VAT was increased on children's clothes & shoes along with large hikes in alcohol & cigarettes, RTE asked Limerick TD Michael Noonan who was then opposition spokesman for Finance, what he thought of the budget.
"It's a great budget for anyone who doesn't drink, smoke, or wear clothes"

That was actually brought in by the FG/Lab coalition, well tried to, the Govt. fell.

Favourite was to the local Guard calling to the pub After Hours, "Pint or Tory Island, Guard?

Jesus Wept

eddie the eagle wrote: »

The guy was a Legend

He was a terrible person.

shoegirl

Alice Glenn's quip about women voting for divorce being like a turkey voting for Christmas was a gem.
Then there was a mention in a book by Gemma Hussey accusing that creep Ned O Keefe of groping her in the Dáil bar.
Numerous by David Norris - he's a good one for quotes - though often annoying rather than funny.

On a non political front, Evelyn Cusack using the word "f*ck" on a reality tv programme was amusing.