Unhelpful Hotel Mgr - A Bad Sign??

intothewest

Hi there - looking for some more advice. We are looking to get married next Apr, and as we don't want the typical hotel/function room day, we are looking at alternative options/venues. We have a couple in mind, but the dates we are looking at are provisionally booked for the dates we can do it for most of the venues. The one place that was the front runner before we started enquiring is available though...which I was delighted with til last wend. I arranged to meet the Mgr (only small establishment, so she doubles up as the wedding co-ordinator) last wend to discuss options. I was asked to wait in a small enclave just off the reception where there was a couple sitting down enjoying some champers (on a wend away) and there was a regular flow of other guest coming and going.

I assumed she would bring me elsewhere for the 'talk', but when she appeared, she proceeded to ask questions about kind of day we wanted etc, etc...I was mortified and taken aback that this would be discussed in a main thoroughfare. It was a small parlour type room...not a main foyer. To add to it..we haven't announced our engagement/pending nuptuials yet, so I was afraid someone I knew would overhear. Yes, I should have said something to her, but I was taken aback.

She then said she would give me a tour, so it was then I told her how we hadn't announced anything yet, and she (in full voice) told me not to worry, if I saw anyone I knew to just tell her to shut up! I was brought to a bedroom in new section, then the old section, then on way back out (while still walking), we went through some prices/options etc..I didn't really go into too much detail as I thought we would be sitting back down again...but that was it...a total of 20 mins it took (& their website said you'd get 4 x 1hr consultations, unless that only kicks in after you officially book it??!!). Maybe I am being niave that I would have been given some more time/attention than that?

It's not the cheapest location, but as we are not having an overly big wedding, and it also fits our idea for the day?? I told her from the beginning that we were looking for a less formal day than the sit down option, and they offer a deluxe type BBQ..so I enquired about pricing for that. However, what she got back to me today with is a price for 6 course meal. I know it's her job to push the pricier option on me and hope I go all bridesy, but I'm not 'this is the most special day of my life' about it.

My question is - does she not want our business, so deliberately pricing us out of it? Am I flogging a dead horse and should I just walk away from it?

Glowing

Erm, I don't think she did anything wrong!! Did you expect to be sat down for an hour for a leisurely chat and some tea and cakes while you were at it??

You haven't booked anything yet, and from her side of things, she is a busy hotel manager - she gave you a tour and an idea around prices - that's how the first meeting usually goes. Bear in mind you might visit 10 venues before you decide on the final one so from the managers point of view, you couldn't expect her to spend an hour or two with you until she knew you were both seriously considering booking the venue.

If you seriously want to go with this place, make another meeting and write down a list of questions you want to ask. Better still, email these questions in advance to the manager so she will realise you're not a time-waster .. and will allow her the time to get the info you need before your next meeting.

That's how I feel anyway ...

amdublin

Meh. She wasn't the best but she wasn't the worst either.

Probably not to go with this place if you didn't enjoy the viewing/the manager.

BC

Agree with glowing - it doesn't sound like she didn't anything wrong really. If you're worried about people seeing you when you haven't announced thats really your problem not hers. She can't give you a tour without talking about things.

If you have more questions then make a list and either email them to her or ask for another meeting.

How Strange

What did she do wrong? It seems you had a tour of the place and she gave you some information.

You say you aren't even officially engaged yet so perhaps the manager just regarded you as someone scouting out venues. When we visted some venues we'd already agreed on a date, set our budget and had a clear idea of numbers so we had something concrete to discuss.

I think you're being a wee bit precious.

Next time you go to a venue have a list of questions to ask the wedding person/manager otherwise what do you expect.

intothewest

Firstly I am not precious...not a bit precious, but we and our guests are potentially going to drop thousands of euros their way (in this economy)., And How Strange...I've lost count of the amount of people who already have their wedding booked before they get engaged, so I can't accept that as a reason. Just because we don't have the bling on, haven't told everyone and want to have it all sorted before we do announce anything, doesn't make us less worthy of time/info. I know she doesn't know us from Adam, and if we are serious, but come on..what happened to treating everyone as a potential customer . Glowing..I wasn't expecting a 'leisurely chat', but besides a tour, I was expecting a better opportunity to sit down and discuss options with her. We spent few mins at the start, then the rest was the tour. I don't mind walking and talking, but what we talked about wasn't even then quoted to me in what she sent out. If this is the norm, then I hold my hands up that my expectations were incorrect.
We want a day that doesn't have all the usual wedding paraphernalia (red carpet, canapes as we are having a late wedding, centre pieces etc), and I told her this. Yes the cost saving is a factor, but more so cos that is not what we are into, and therefore it would not be a good use of money if we don't want all those bells and whistles. The quote she sent me was for red carpet, flower arrangements (we want to avoid as I suffer from hayfever & it's particularly bad that time of year so we've a non-flower centre piece we want to use), canapes upon arrival, 6 course meal - I just feel had we not been walking and talking when this was discussed, she'd have been able to take note of all this and tailor a quote to our wants (I told her while we appreciated their cuisine, for a late wedding six courses was too much). Or goes back to my original question, unless they just don't want the business/didn't like the look of me!!
Look, don't get me wrong, I know they are busy people and it wasn't that she was rude/unpleasant, but I myself work in a customer service environment, and as a consumer/potential customer I feel that a bit more due diligence would have gone a long way???

How Strange

OK OP, then it comes down to communication. You have to communicate very clearly what you want. If you were there and the manager wasn't doing what you wanted you should have said that to her. We had to do that on a few occasions.

Regarding people booking weddings before getting engaged, that seems plain daft to me. Surely if you book a wedding then you're engaged. It's a chicken and egg scenario.

For all the manager knew you were scouting and just comparing their place against others for prices.

As I said to already, you have to go to the venues with dates, numbers, budget, a clear idea of what you want otherwise how can the venue give you specific details if you're being vague about when, how many, how much.
From our first conversation with our venue we had all the specifics. I was adamant with our venue that we didn't want the bells and whistles wedding. The venues are so conditioned to giving the bells and whistles that they assume every bride wants the same.

There's no point chewing the heads off people here for posting replies that you don't like.

intothewest

How Strange - I don't think I chewed the head off anyone, I was just clarifying and giving the facts - sorry if you took it to heart.
I did give her the numbers, I did tell her the budget range, I did tell her we were planning a no bells/whistles thing as it wasn't what we wanted, that it was going to be a late wedding, and I had it narrowed down to two wends In Apr/May...how much more specific can I get??? Much of this was sent to her in email before I met her, and then reiterated when we met...I was adamant to be clear at any chance I got, that we weren't wanting the full monty.
Ok, the engagement thing is open to interpretation - to us, we're not yet because we haven't told our parents, families and friends that we are planning it for next Apr..and it's just a personal choice that we would prefer to have it organised and/or ring got before we do.
Anyway, it's worth another talk with them and see what she can do for us based on our preferences/day we want.

Speak Now

I'd look for somewhere else if possible, if this woman's attitute is already stressing you out then go with your gut feeling. The whole build up will be stressful enough as it is. I think you're right for what it's worth, she could have been a bit more discreet and spend more time with you.

intothewest

Thanks Jerry...it's not our only option, but it's the first hotel we've met with, so I was curious as to whether this was the norm or not. I'd done some homework on meeting with hotels before Sat, and from what I'd read on forums etc, I felt that a hotel would be biting our hands off for business...or at the very least, a bit more interested in getting our business. But perhaps I was wrong with that assumption. While I know they will be used to people shopping around..it's their opportunity to make an impression, to give you every reason to chose them over Hotel X down the road, so to me, they should be attentive to your needs/wants rather than churning out a generic quote, that clearly shows not one of your requests were taken on board.
I'd asked for pricing on an evening/BBQ option they do, and had dates for Apr & May. Only got the quote for the six course, and was given the May date as their May prices are higher than their Apr prices. Which is another point..rules are rules with dates/peak seasons etc, but have people found that there is some flexibility with hotels who have these, if your date is 6 days into the month?
And yes, I know I can go elsewhere..just making the point.

izzyflusky

If I was you I would not book them.

Before I booked the hotel I went to a few places and what I've noticed in some of them is that they rushed things and didn't seem very accomodating on my requests so I ruled them out straight away.
To be honest it's a bit disheartening when things like that happened, I specially remember a place where I really felt like they were doing me a favour.
As you said, you'll be paying a lot of money so it's only fair that they treat you accordingly and listen to what you want.
Thankfully in my case I went to a hotel where I was sat down, talked about the type of wedding I wanted, then was shown around, sat down again afterwards and to talk about things in more detail, the manager was even taking notes so she could emailed us all the info later on in the day. It was really like talking to a friend about the wedding.

Also, it was H2B's birthday and we were going for a meal afterwards, so decided to have a snack and a few drinks before heading (the 5 of us that were there) and when we asked for the bill the waiter said that the manager talked to him and it was on the house, which was very nice too.

Even if I'm just looking around I do expect a certain treatment. I don't mean the buying us drinks and stuff, but at the end of the day I'm paying so they should show an interest in having me there. And after booking we have emailed every single thing that H2B or I could have possibly thought of and she has always emailed us back straight away. We were also told to email her the dates I was over so she could let us know when the different weddings were on to see the rooms all done up if we wanted (before booking, and reminded again after booking).

So if I were you I'd keep looking until I found a place were I could see I was appreciated enough.

intothewest

Thanks izzyflusky - good to hear from some others on their experiences with hotels. I thought I was losing the plot that as a potential customer (from which they could get repeat custom too), I should get some better service than I did.

Do you mind me asking where you have booked? You can PM me if you prefer.

izzyflusky

I know how you feel. I was all excited going into some places only to end up leaving disappointed. If I'm paying I shouldn't feel like they are doing me a favour. I wasn't that eager to see places anymore due to this, but it worked out in the end.

Yep, no problem. We're getting married in the Ritz, but it's the one over in Madrid, so don't think that will be much help to you now...:(

intothewest

That makes sense...it wasn't an Irish hotel!!! I won't tar them all with the one brush! Best of luck with your wedding.:D

izzyflusky

The ones I had bad experiences with were spanish as well. You can find good and bad places everywhere. Just keep looking!;)

Thank you!

tatli_lokma

intothewest wrote: »

We want a day that doesn't have all the usual wedding paraphernalia (red carpet, canapes as we are having a late wedding, centre pieces etc), and I told her this. Yes the cost saving is a factor, but more so cos that is not what we are into, and therefore it would not be a good use of money if we don't want all those bells and whistles. The quote she sent me was for red carpet, flower arrangements

intothewest wrote: »

they should be attentive to your needs/wants rather than churning out a generic quote, that clearly shows not one of your requests were taken on board.

I'd asked for pricing on an evening/BBQ option they do, and had dates for Apr & May. Only got the quote for the six course,

just my 2c on this - the reason why the hotel are harping on about the 'extras' is because it makes it look like they are giving you SO much in the package. If you do away with all that, they don't want to actually give you a discount because all that stuff, red carpet, chair covers etc are dirt cheap to them, and to give you the equivalent 'retail' price of it off would be a loss to them. Chair covers can be bought by a hotel for less than a euro. One wedding pays for their covers well and above the costs. They want to 'throw them in' to look like they are giving you value for money. The fact you don't want them and are looking for an alternative price is actually awkward for them, as they will then be giving you a discount they don't want to give. Hence the 'generic' quote.

Although I do agree that if you asked for a specific meal price they should have paid attention to this.

Finally, again just my 2c, if this hotel follows the 'traditional' hotel wedding format, perhaps it is not the best place to chose if you want something less formal and less traditional.

At the end of the day, for whatever reason, and not blaming anyone, you didn't hit it off with their wedding co-ordinator/manager. This being the case dealing with her may be more stress to you than its worth, so look elsewhere, and only go back if you don't find anything else. But if you do go back, do as others said and have a list of questions written down, and also email them in advance. Then if you feel she is unprepared to give you the correct info, you would be well within your rights to stage an about heal and let your feet do the walking and let them know why too.

Its the first place you looked at really, so perhaps you were expecting a bit more than is the norm. Its understandable in the excitement of the first stages of planning, but in general hotels do not make much of a fuss initially unless they feel that they are getting a big wedding out of it or they know you are serious and not just a sunday afternoon "looker".

intothewest

Thanks...I agree that them taking away the usual parahenalia will not really make that huge a difference to the price, because as you say, they've long reaped back the cost price of those things already (there isn't actually even chair covers).

We are finding it difficult though to find a space that suits what we want, and can do it sans the bells/whistles..I can see how people may start off not wanting a hotel, but end up having the wedding there. We are going to meet with the hotel next week, and sure all we can do is she what comes of that. What's not for you won't pass you by and all that!

I'm learning as I go along!

Heineken Helen

intothewest wrote: »

Thanks Jerry...it's not our only option, but it's the first hotel we've met with, so I was curious as to whether this was the norm or not. I'd done some homework on meeting with hotels before Sat, and from what I'd read on forums etc, I felt that a hotel would be biting our hands off for business...or at the very least, a bit more interested in getting our business. But perhaps I was wrong with that assumption. While I know they will be used to people shopping around..it's their opportunity to make an impression, to give you every reason to chose them over Hotel X down the road, so to me, they should be attentive to your needs/wants rather than churning out a generic quote, that clearly shows not one of your requests were taken on board.
I'd asked for pricing on an evening/BBQ option they do, and had dates for Apr & May. Only got the quote for the six course, and was given the May date as their May prices are higher than their Apr prices. Which is another point..rules are rules with dates/peak seasons etc, but have people found that there is some flexibility with hotels who have these, if your date is 6 days into the month?
And yes, I know I can go elsewhere..just making the point.

I found that every place I went to automatically quotes their expensive packages. When I went to the first place, I was clueless and this turned me off... cos I simply thought 'I can't afford to get married' and moved on. By the time I got to the second place I knew what to ask and all that. When they quoted the expensive stuff, I simply said 'I won't be getting that' and he immediately started telling me ways of saving money and cutting corners. I found it helps to be straight talking with them. They all offered us something to eat/drink... but only one of them took us into a private room... the place I ended up booking. Otherwise it was casual chats in the foyer.

Heineken Helen

intothewest wrote: »

Thanks...I agree that them taking away the usual parahenalia will not really make that huge a difference to the price, because as you say, they've long reaped back the cost price of those things already (there isn't actually even chair covers).

We are finding it difficult though to find a space that suits what we want, and can do it sans the bells/whistles..I can see how people may start off not wanting a hotel, but end up having the wedding there. We are going to meet with the hotel next week, and sure all we can do is she what comes of that. What's not for you won't pass you by and all that!

I'm learning as I go along!

so maybe visit a couple of other places and have some practice?;)

You may be better off just looking for a room for a 'party'. I considered the BBQ option... and I'd NO intention of telling them it was for a wedding.

asomeday

in relation to the search for an alternative venue i work in the wedding business (not a planner or hotel) &may be able to recommend somewhere which could suit your needs,feel free to pm me if you like:)

intothewest

Thanks - just sent you a PM.