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Why does this keep happening?!

  • 06-04-2010 8:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    After a string of terrible past relationships and plenty of therapy to get over them i finally strarted to get my confidence back this year. I stared a new job working in an office in the city centre and ended up falling for one of my collegues. at first i thought he liked me back and now more and more im beinning to odubt it. he has no idea how i feel. he flirts with me on a daily basis to the point with people comment on it. his desk is right beside mine unless he;s out on a job so we pretty much spend the day together. however, despite this flirting which seems genuine hes not a v. flirty person he tells me what girls he thinks r hot and about grils he was with ovver the weekend.
    These head games are driving me crazy and really denting my recovering confidence. I;ve been told im a good looking girl but tbh ove never felt uglier, the worst thing is if he treats me well i feel fantastic. i know i shouldnt let someone have this effect on me but i cant help it. i feel like im destined to a life of men ****ing me around.
    The worst thing is we have to go to a 3 day confrence in paris in 2 weeks me him and another guys and if he kisses someoine else on front of me on a nite out its gong to be v. hard not to cry especially if theres champagne which there alwayys is at therse stupid things.
    hes such a great guy and ( trust me not in a vain way!) i just can;t see why he doesnt fancy me. i know sometimes people just dont click or watever but i just which i knew what was so unfanciable about me( besides my **** spelling) so i could fix it.


Comments

  • #2
    JonathanAnon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,718 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    I dont mean to be cruel on this but I think he may just see you as "mates" and not be interested in starting a relationship...

    Also work relationships can be VERY messy. Is this really what you want or is it possible that you are focussing on this guy because you have nothing better on offer at the moment?


  • #3
    anomalous
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 102 ✭✭anomalous


    it sounds like he sees you as a friend and is really comfortable around you but even if he does like you and something happens the whole work relationship thing is a bad idea especially if it goes pear shaped and then you have to face him every day it sounds like you wouldnt be able for that

    maybe you need to concentrate on you a bit more and becoming more confident - this guy is making you feel like crap (because you think he doesnt fancy you) one minute and then making you feel great the next minute (becuase he was nice to you)

    good luck in paris (maybe abstain from the champaign?)


  • #4
    MIN2511
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    JonathanAnon wrote: »
    I dont mean to be cruel on this but I think he may just see you as "mates" and not be interested in starting a relationship...

    Also work relationships can be VERY messy. Is this really what you want or is it possible that you are focussing on this guy because you have nothing better on offer at the moment?
    Couldn't agree more!

    Mixing work with pleasure can get very messy!


  • #5
    bellylint
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 230 ✭✭bellylint


    He could be a guy that is naturally flirty (I do not mean that in a bad way at all), and isnt quite aware of the effect that he is having upon you. I reckon he must see you as at least a friend as he is confiding in you and telling you about his life. You say he is a nice guy so I wouldnt go thinking he is intentionally playing headgames with you.

    On a seperate note the whole work thing could be a huge factor for him, partic if things go south. It is a messy situation to be in.
    I recently had to make a rational decision to not get involved with someone as the situation would not have worked. We both fancy each other and it was not an easy decision to make. Previous to that we used to wingman/wingwoman for each other.
    Main thing I would stress is, please dont use this as a reason to be hard on yourself, meeting nice people who could be right for you is not a trivial thing and there are many that are close to it but not just there. At least you are getting your confidence back and are finding people that are attractive.


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