Would you help?

stupidusername

Yesterday a guy jumped into the Shannon. And it got me thinking. There's a thread in the Limerick Forum about it now, and lots of people saying RIP and how sad it is etc. But it seems like all sorts of sympathy comes out for these people after they've gone through with it, but i wonder how many people would approach those who seem to be upset. I've a few times been walking around the city upset about something and not once has anyone asked if i'm ok, or anything like that.

I think that not that many people would be willing to do something to help, even in a position like that, knowing that someone is upset over something. Being honest though I don't know that I would feel comfortable saying something to someone I thought was upset. If it was a girl I probably would, but it would probably depend.

I'm curious, would you do anything?

Zombrex

stupidusername wrote: »

Yesterday a guy jumped into the Shannon. And it got me thinking. There's a thread in the Limerick Forum about it now, and lots of people saying RIP and how sad it is etc. But it seems like all sorts of sympathy comes out for these people after they've gone through with it, but i wonder how many people would approach those who seem to be upset. I've a few times been walking around the city upset about something and not once has anyone asked if i'm ok, or anything like that.

I think that not that many people would be willing to do something to help, even in a position like that, knowing that someone is upset over something. Being honest though I don't know that I would feel comfortable saying something to someone I thought was upset. If it was a girl I probably would, but it would probably depend.

I'm curious, would you do anything?

How are you defining "seems upset"

I probably would go up to someone is they looked physically hurt, or were balling their eyes out. But I wouldn't approach a stranger who just looked a bit down, any more than I would approach a stranger in general.

People tend not to like other people coming up to them unsolicited. You might get someone who would like it, but more often than not I imagine you would be told to feck off.

looksee

In fairness, its a bit hard to tell when someone completely unknown to you is upset. And there is every possibility that if someone did speak to a person who looked upset they would be told to 'mind their own *** business'. Or worse 'no, this is my normal expression'

I have asked people if they are ok but only in say a situation where I know them a bit - people at work for example. If I saw someone who looked as though they might be about to throw themselves in the river I would certainly say something to them, or at least dial 999. There would be no point in me going in to save someone from the river as I would just need rescuing myself, but in the heat of the moment I would probably try it if there was no-one more competent around.

I don't think I have ever been in a situation where I could help or rescue a stranger, and I have been around quite a long while, but it is quite possible that other people may remember me being helpful to them. Things that I might have not given a second thought to might have made a difference to someone else.

I know the reverse is true, and kind gestures by strangers have made a difference - like the guy who stopped in the lashing rain when I had a flat tyre and could not shift the wheelnuts. He changed the wheel for me and took off with nothing more than sincere thanks. Not in the same class as rescue from a river of course, but still, he didn't have to stop.

philologos

stupidusername wrote: »

Yesterday a guy jumped into the Shannon. And it got me thinking. There's a thread in the Limerick Forum about it now, and lots of people saying RIP and how sad it is etc. But it seems like all sorts of sympathy comes out for these people after they've gone through with it, but i wonder how many people would approach those who seem to be upset. I've a few times been walking around the city upset about something and not once has anyone asked if i'm ok, or anything like that.

Visibly upset? - By the by, there is a difference between being upset, and committing suicide. Just to note.

irishh_bob

i certainly wouldnt help someone like our friend who threw himself into the shannon , how could i a complete stranger possibley cure the ills of someone like that , what would i do , blandly tell them everything will be ok , as regards helping someone who was being attacked and the like , that is a different story and i believe i would intervene

Emme

I might approach a child that was upset if there was no parent/guardian in sight or maybe an elderly or handicapped person but I would be reluctant to approach anybody else. Most people would tell a stranger to eff off if they approached them when upset. It's good to be helpful but we have to respect people's boundaries.

Denerick

One of the best known and dehumanising effects of urban living is the ability of large groups of strangers to ignore strange behaviour from an individual. Face it, if some random person is balling his/her eyes out in the middle of Grafton st., and most people are walking by and looking in the other direction, chances are you'll ignore the problem and walk on. In Dublin you see a lot of people who clearly have personality disorders, but I wouldn't have any time left if I stopped to help them all.

Though I'd like to think I'd stop an attempted suicide.

t4k30

So many unstable people in this country you'd be literally going out on a limb to approach someone. Especially in Limerick, go over to console and end up with a knife in your chest ! :P

stupidusername

stupidusername wrote: »

Yesterday a guy jumped into the Shannon. And it got me thinking. There's a thread in the Limerick Forum about it now, and lots of people saying RIP and how sad it is etc. But it seems like all sorts of sympathy comes out for these people after they've gone through with it, but i wonder how many people would approach those who seem to be upset. I've a few times been walking around the city upset about something and not once has anyone asked if i'm ok, or anything like that.

I think that not that many people would be willing to do something to help, even in a position like that, knowing that someone is upset over something. Being honest though I don't know that I would feel comfortable saying something to someone I thought was upset. If it was a girl I probably would, but it would probably depend.

I'm curious, would you do anything?

Oh, this is about comforting people not jumping into the Shannon to save someone. Although my vote counts for both

Thing is that many people don't want to be comforted. They want to be left alone. From my own experiences with grief, the last thing I wanted was someone stranger or otherwise coming over, making platitudes about things they have no reference of, and simply making me feel worse.

If its the case, of meeting someone in a club or social setting and they're sad/crying, I might check if they're ok, but nothing more.

Personally, I feel there's too much of people intruding on other peoples problems. Especially from complete strangers. So, no, my take on this is to leave things alone. If they want comfort, they'll go to someone they want comfort from. Or just stick it out alone. That's been my preference throughout any of the painful experiences I've had in my life.