St. Edmundsbury / St. Patrick's Hospital

LegacyUser

Hi,
My husband is going through a severe bout of depression/self hatred which is tearing our family apart. He is distancing himself from everyone who cares about him, including me, and has moved out of the family home 3 months ago.

It's got to the stage now where after 8 months of counselling and 2 diff types of anti-depressants, he is in an even worse place, and I really am concerned about how dark a place is mind is right now. I have had to detach myself from his emotional state for the past few months after finding out about an affair he had, all be it emotionally, with a work colleague, but now I realise that this was actually a symptom of what he is going through mentally, as if it were simply a fact that he was unhappy in our marriage then why isn't he improving physically & mentally since he moved out? Anyway my question here is where do i start to help him, various counsellers and his GP just seem to be facilitating his state of self pity, and no real action is being done to assess him mentally or take him out of the every day environment which he is finding so difficult to cope with at this point. Can I strongly urge his GP to refer him to the above hospital or does he have to sign himself in and has anyone been through this personally or with a loved one?

Many thanks for any replies x

Victor

Do you mean St. Loman's Hospital in Palmerston? I think its closed.

Worried Spouse wrote: »

Can I strongly urge his GP to refer him to the above hospital or does he have to sign himself in and has anyone been through this personally or with a loved one?

While I think you should be able to talk to his doctor, it is largely down to your husband (and his medical professionals) to decide on what course of treatment to decide on. It is unlikely he would be committed to hospital without his own permission, unless he posed a risk to himself or others. You could perhaps talk to the doctor and then talk to your husband. Advocate a course of action, but don't force it.

I think its important for you to be there for him. You need not be there every moment, but getting him out and about occasionally would be useful.

Finally, realise that while things will hopefully improve, it might take some time for things to be back to normal.

LegacyUser

Victor wrote: »

Do you mean St. Loman's Hospital in Palmerston? I think its closed.While I think you should be able to talk to his doctor, it is largely down to your husband (and his medical professionals) to decide on what course of treatment to decide on. It is unlikely he would be committed to hospital without his own permission, unless he posed a risk to himself or others. You could perhaps talk to the doctor and then talk to your husband. Advocate a course of action, but don't force it.

I think its important for you to be there for him. You need not be there every moment, but getting him out and about occasionally would be useful.

Finally, realise that while things will hopefully improve, it might take some time for things to be back to normal.

Thanks for your reply Victor,

Its this hospital I heard recommendations for: http://www.stpatrickshosp.com/
(I meant St Edmundsbury)

I really feel I need to step in at this point and I will talk to his GP either with or without him, as no body else is taking a stance. I don't think he is a danger to others but I do think he is walking a fine line towards being a danger to himself. Its not that suicide would be an easy way out for him, more that he genuinely believes that we would all be better off if he wasn't around anymore, and he has confirmed this during our talks.

I had taken a step back for the last 3 months as because he had betrayed me and our marriage people were telling me to move on, and detach, for the good of myself and our young child, and he moved back in with his parents, but this is just getting worse, and his parents are absolutely useless and totally preoccupied with their own problems. For the record I won't be sitting down with them and discussing anything as I have been extremely hurt during this whole ordeal by them and would have no interest in having any more dealings with them.

LegacyUser

You could suggest to him/his GP that he be referred to one of the Dean Clinics. They're outpatient clinics which are run by psychiatrists from St Pats/St Eds. They could do a proper psych assessment and decide if he needs hospitalisation.

LegacyUser

Hi

My brother attended St. Patrick's hospital for two stints In my families case the hospital was sufficient for my brothers illness. It provides good assitance to people with bi - polar, schizophrenia, depression etc.

As far as I am aware it is usually on the approval of an outpatients clinic that an individual is referred to a hospital such as St. Patrick's. For example my brother attends an outpatient clinic which referred him to St Patricks and he also receives help here since he was omitted from hospital

Connolly Norman House
224 North Circular Road, Dublin 7
8681400

Perhaps you can contact the outpatients clinic to find out where your local service is.

Also a word of note St. Patricks is a private hospital so it costs a few thousand every week, luckily my brother was covered by health insurance so the full costs were not incurred by my family.

Hope this helps best of luck

Victor

GDow wrote: »

For example my brother attends an outpatient clinic which referred him to St Patricks and he also receives help here since he was omitted from hospital

Connolly Norman House
224 North Circular Road, Dublin 7
8681400

Perhaps you can contact the outpatients clinic to find out where your local service is.

Yes, best to work with something local. No need to go to any specific clinic.

Billiejo

Worried Spouse wrote: »

Hi,
My husband is going through a severe bout of depression/self hatred which is tearing our family apart. He is distancing himself from everyone who cares about him, including me, and has moved out of the family home 3 months ago.

It's got to the stage now where after 8 months of counselling and 2 diff types of anti-depressants, he is in an even worse place, and I really am concerned about how dark a place is mind is right now. I have had to detach myself from his emotional state for the past few months after finding out about an affair he had, all be it emotionally, with a work colleague, but now I realise that this was actually a symptom of what he is going through mentally, as if it were simply a fact that he was unhappy in our marriage then why isn't he improving physically & mentally since he moved out? Anyway my question here is where do i start to help him, various counsellers and his GP just seem to be facilitating his state of self pity, and no real action is being done to assess him mentally or take him out of the every day environment which he is finding so difficult to cope with at this point. Can I strongly urge his GP to refer him to the above hospital or does he have to sign himself in and has anyone been through this personally or with a loved one?

Many thanks for any replies x

Dear WS
St Patricks is a psyciatric Hospital and from your description of the problem I am sad for you and sorry to say I do not think your hubby is mentally ill.
It could it be that he is suffering from 'rejection syndrome' which is similiar to bereavement, a powerful downer but not a psyciatric illness.

LegacyUser

Unrrrrrreg wrote: »

You could suggest to him/his GP that he be referred to one of the Dean Clinics. They're outpatient clinics which are run by psychiatrists from St Pats/St Eds. They could do a proper psych assessment and decide if he needs hospitalisation.

Thank you, we are going to go to the GP tomorrow and suggest this, it sounds like the first step..


GDow,
Thanks for your post about your brother. That clinic on the Nth Circular would be local enough for us. Do you know does that cost a lot? As far as I know the Dean clinic assessment would be covered by VHI, at least 100 euro of it anyway. I am going to ring around now. Do you know would I have to go to my GP first or straight to an outpatients clinic?



Billiejo thanks for your post but this isn't the case with my husband. No one has rejected him, least of all me, despite the betrayal I suffered. I know exactly the condition you describe, because I'm going through it myself. My husband was put on anti-depressants 8 months ago and continues to take them for depression, but he is even more down now, despite all the counselling and living apart from us. He is nearly 6ft and has gone down to under 11 stone despite eating well. He isn't sleeping and is very low, and has admitted he feels nothing for anyone i his life, be it his parents, me, or our son.

LegacyUser

Just to add to my earlier post, I've made some calls and the price for the dean clinic assessment is 475 less 100 from VHI, but the route GDow suggested is free, but my local clinic would be Blanch Hospital. Just wanted to add this as it might be of use to someone else in a similar situation.

SerialComplaint

worried Spouse wrote: »

Just to add to my earlier post, I've made some calls and the price for the dean clinic assessment is 475 less 100 from VHI, but the route GDow suggested is free, but my local clinic would be Blanch Hospital. Just wanted to add this as it might be of use to someone else in a similar situation.

Unrrrrrreg wrote: »

You could suggest to him/his GP that he be referred to one of the Dean Clinics. They're outpatient clinics which are run by psychiatrists from St Pats/St Eds. They could do a proper psych assessment and decide if he needs hospitalisation.

Does anyone know if the outpatient therapy services (psychotherapy and CBT) at the Dean Clinic are generally covered by insurance? Our big problem at present is around the cost of counselling, which is not covered by insurance elsewhere. Does the Dean Clinic offer a solution to this problem for those with insurance?