Is life over for me? Leaving cert student thrown out of home

christmasinjuly

would love advice badly, My mam recently got her allowance book halfed for me im 19 turned it in january and in leaving cert was due to do it in june, but my mam rcently thrown me out saying she cant afford to keep me im too old to live at home and so on since she is on a lone parents book.

so im living in my cousins I dont know what to do , have no money and well must drop out of school soon . I must mention no aunt or uncle would keep me unless I gave money they are also same as her greedy and my cousin has her own life so what I want to know is it best I do a fas course and then go do a mature course when im 23?

I need to look at this from the best possible angle

meditraitor

christmasinjuly wrote: »

would love advice badly, My mam recently got her allowance book halfed for me im 19 turned it in january and in leaving cert was due to do it in june, but my mam rcently thrown me out saying she cant afford to keep me im too old to live at home and so on since she is on a lone parents book.

so im living in my cousins I dont know what to do , have no money and well must drop out of school soon . I must mention no aunt or uncle would keep me unless I gave money they are also same as her greedy and my cousin has her own life so what I want to know is it best I do a fas course and then go do a mature course when im 23?

I need to look at this from the best possible angle

Thats brutal, sorry for your problems man but are you sure she got her allowance halved? Im thought that while you are still attending school the social cant touch it....

krudler

your mother threw you out of the house when you havent even your leaving cert done? thats fcuked up,its only 3 months away , too old to live at home? you're still a teenager!what does she think you're going to support yourself with?

spurious

Talk to the Home School Liaison teacher at school. They will know who to speak to about getting things sorted. Not quite sure how your mother lost her allowance when you're still at school - did you get all the right forms stamped and filled in?

S23

Thats the most fcuked up thing I've heard in a while. She threw her own child out because she 'can't afford' him. Knowing full well he hasn't completed his education, there are basically no jobs knocking about and he has no way of supporting himself? Honestly, it beggars belief.

If you are really stuck I suggest you go to your local social welfare office or contact Citizens Information and see if they can help you out in any way shape or form.

Beyond that I don't know what else to say aside from the fact that your family are behaving disgracefully. Keep the chin up

KiLLeR CoUCh

Most definately you should speak to somebody in your school. A have faint memories of a girl from my school who moved out of home and into care while she was in her junior cert year. The school was a well of support for her and really bent over backwards to do what they could. You've three months left and then you'll have your LC finished and done with. Do what you can to not back out at this stage.

I may be wrong in saying this but since your mother is getting an allowance for keeping you, surely if she throws you out she's not entitled to anything. My heart goes out to you OP, best of luck.

sporina

I really really hope you do contact someone as advised here. It is fab that you are determined to do your leaving cert - you must do all that you can to ensure that you have the chance to do it. It is soo important and it will be the key to your future. My heart goes out to you. Be strong. you can do it. But you do need support. XX

Overheal

Important to note: Life changes a lot. It isn't 'Over' until you die.

In many cases people have come back from rock bottom to lead successful lives. Never think because something goes wrong or you fail at something that Its the End.

I had to drop out of College but while that sucked it was certainly not the end of my life. Nor is it the end of my academic career. Theres nothing that says I cant go back at another point in time. Similarly being out of a home is not the end nor does it mean you cant move on from there and be largely successful.

JuliusCaesar

What is your mother on about? If she gets Social Welfare you're a dependent and she gets money to support you.

Do you not get on?

Dohnny Jepp

Your age is irrelevant, As long as you're at secondary school your mother won't lose out on benefits.

Make sure she knows that, so you can stay there till after your leaving cert.

Then after that things will be a little easier, Lots of grants are available for 3rd level education, parishs have been known to help out with thier own grants in certain situation if you'd like to take that route too.
You could also look for part time work in the evenings. Although people say there are no jobs, there are still actually part time jobs. So start sending CV's to dunnes and tescos and xtra vision or any where u can think of.

It's not even nearly over for you yet buddy, your life is just beginning.

desolate sun

OP I really feel for you. Your mother is an absolute disgrace.
Get some support from your school. Maybe there's a counsellor you can talk to? Or maybe your GP can refer you to someone. It's important to talk to someone.

You're doing well though. Get your leaving cert. You can always take a year out after school - maybe do a FETAC course and work at weekends. FETAC courses are usually 1 year long - like PLC courses and aren't usually too taxing. Have a look at the website - http://www.fetac.ie/
If you do well on the course you can potentially get 400 points to get into college if you like.
I think it's a great transition point for someone after the stress of the leaving cert (and your particular situation). You can explore what you would like to do for the future. YOu can also get a grant if you do a FETAC course which will help no end.

ANyway OP, look after yourself and talk to someone about getting some support for yourself. Take care

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

Well first off call down to your Local Social Welfare Office and tell them that you have been thrown out of your house by your mother. They will stop her lone parents payments if you don't live there, I'm not going to slag off your mother but I'll just say she is a very very bad person. Secondly tell the Social that you are almost at the leaving cert, they may be able to get you a payment to keep you going and you should also get you a supplementary welfare allowance from the HSE (find your local health centre and ask for the Community Welfare Officer). Believe me they will help you finish the leaving, it's in their interest that you finish it and are employable. You're going to be ok, you want to finish the leaving and you haven't given up, you obviously have your head screwed on, that's the most important thing. It's f*cking disgrace that this has happened to you and you don't deserve it, just remember that it's your mother who's in the wrong here.

The very best of luck OP.

Danniboo

Hi OP,

Your story really pulled at my heart strings. Please please please do not drop out of school at this stage, you'll seriously regret it. I know jobs are scarce but try and get a part time job. If you wanted to you could tell your mam you are applying for the dole and see what she says, she is still entitled to allowance for you once your living at home and in full time education. If you go to the dole and tell them you're applying as your not living at home your mam will lose her allowance and i'm sure she knows this, so call her bluff she might let you move back home and while the atmospehere might not be great it will only be 3 months and you'll be finished your leaving. Your family sound like money hungry so and so's who look out for themselves, i'm not saying be like them, but you need to look after yourself OP. Just focus on your education and trying to make a life for yourself. If you get your leaving and can't get a job, you will be entitled to the dole and rent allowance or better still a fas course which you will be paid for. 3 months is a drop in the ocean on the grand scale of things, don't drop out because your mothers being a selfish cow. Best of luck OP xxx

Feel free to send me a PM if you need to talk x

tenchi-fan

when god closes a door he opens a window. You're probably best off away from home now. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

Just study hard and get your mother to give you your share of the child benefit she's keeping from you... it mightn't be much but you could give it to your aunt.

Don't worry about not having spending money... a lot of leaving cert students are in the same boat. Or at least they were pre-celtic tiger.

sKepTics_George

I thought I was having a bad day.
You are better off alone now, so just get on with it.

elbee

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/social-welfare-payments-to-families-and-children/one_parent_family_payment

OP, if you read the above page you'll see that your mother still gets lone parent's payments if you are over 18 and under 22 and in full-time education. But it is conditional on you living with her so if you are sure she won't take you back, you really should do as other posters have said and tell your local social welfare office immediately!!

If you think going home is the best solution, maybe threaten her with this and see what she does?

Also, I really think you should talk to someone in your school, just pick the most sympathetic person and go to them - if they can't help they'll try to direct you to someone who can. Citizens Information may also have some advice.

I really hope it all works out for you OP. You sound like a lovely person and once you manage to get educated and break free of your family I'm sure things will turn around for you.

Stheno

OP, you need to either talk to your mother about how her allowances will be cut if you are no longer residing with/dependant on her, and agree that you can move back in, or talk to your local Community Welfare Officer, and/or someone in authority in your school.

Regardless you need support now as you are in a tough situation.

One question have you talked to your cousin about your living arrangements? If they are currently putting you up, could you come to an arrangement in that regard if your mother will not have you back and you could support the costs of your being in the house?

LegacyUser

First I am like others amazed at your mother. I think the allowance she may have lost is not her weekly allowance for you but the monthly childrens allowance which as I understand finishes after 18 regardless of your situation. In fact you must get a form signed by the school to continue to claim it between 16 and 18.
I know this is of little help but as others have said talk to your school and or Community Welfare Office. Whatever you do do try to finish the LC as it is so close at this stage.

christmasinjuly

Hi sorry about all the long time I havent posted back but I am back at home slowly trying to sort things out im ok thanks for all the advice

TechnoPool

good luck and hope it works out for ya. Your ma really needs to KOP the fcuk on in fairness.

Lolly1869

her allowance doesn't get halfed when you turn 19 as long as your still in education,they send out a letter for u to get stamped in school and your mam sends it back. i was in college doing a plc course when i turned 19 and my mam even got it, its crazy that she would kick you out for no reason.