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Feel Invisible in Group Situations

  • 28-03-2010 12:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been feeling for a while that I am invisible in group situations.

    In work, or one on one, I am entirely confident but I am not a naturally outgoing or bolshy person. I think when I was in my late teens early 20's I overcame that by drinking and being drunk enough to be more outgoing than I am.

    But now I'm 28 and have no interest in getting blind drunk so I feel like if I'm out with friends and a group of guys chat to us I just fade into the background. Sometimes I resent my more outgoing friends even though it's not their fault, but I don't know how to change it.

    It's not that they're better looking than me - just more outgoing.

    How can I be more outgoing without pretending to be someone I'm not?


Comments

  • #2
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Stop trying to become more outgoing in the group. Focus more on creating situations, like one-on-one, that work for you.

    For instance, any group of lads is also going to have the quiet ones (like you) - try chatting them up instead of focusing on the more outgoing lads that are grabbing the attention.

    Your outgoing friends are an asset. They're doing a lot of the work for you - of engaging with the group of lads. After they do some of the initial chatting, if the lads are total asses, they might be invited to sit with you, etc. - or even standing where the groups mingle more and side conversations can develop. This is when you can try and engage a lad in a one-to-one conversation.


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