Another poem :)

ElizabethB

Dance of a dove

Open the shutters,
Let the doves break free
Remove your craving hands
Just let them be.

For we all have a dream
One day it shall come
Until then, Let the sun beam
And let your hopes run.

I once watched a dove
I stalked it's walk
It danced around my presence
It soon stopped to talk.

She offered love, life and peace
Gifts of such gold
But i refused,
for once i was told
Don't dream such dreams
They are dreams of a fool,
for we shall remain unsatisfied,
under God's rule.

ElizabethB

Would really appreciate critic

Cosmo No 5

I like it. It reads well and the end is very interesting. And even tho its dark stil much more upbeat than your other one. Last two lines especially good

ElizabethB

Thank you! Yeah my poems tend to be a bit dark, I just find it easier to write about negative emotions than to express positive ones. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

DarkBlue_18

This poem defines beauty. The imagery, the metaphors, the calm delivery of the message, the use of everday language, the sounds that are generated from the rhyming to the assonance to my personal favourite writing technique the use of harsh consanants to illustrate the emotion. I just feel that I havto keep reading this poem. Everytime I read it I get something new and exciting from it. Truely a great piece....Keep writing!!

ElizabethB

Thank you very much! A much appreciated compliment. It feels great to know that even one or two people are liking and getting my poetry. And I love the fact that you are getting something different everytime you read the poem because that also happens when I read it. It doesn't contain one clear message. I never thought that others would enjoy Reading my poetry, means a lot. Thanks again!

AnBealBocht

ElizabethB wrote: »

Thank you very much! A much appreciated compliment. It feels great to know that even one or two people are liking and getting my poetry. And I love the fact that you are getting something different everytime you read the poem because that also happens when I read it. It doesn't contain one clear message. I never thought that others would enjoy Reading my poetry, means a lot. Thanks again!

The respite from the suffering(s) of Life afforded by a bird...Nice.

Cosmo No 5

Feel free to critic mine too please!

mrs2be.ie

I quite liked that. I don't know much about poetry to offer an actual critique.

Insect Overlord

Seems a bit clichéd and flowery to me. There is a simplicity to the poem that some clearly find quite endearing, but (me being cynical here) I find it just lacks effort and originality. That's not to say it's a "bad" poem (it really isn't) but rather that it just doesn't stand out to me as anything special.

ElizabethB

Thanks for taking the time to read it and give me your opinion. All comments are very much appreciated.

Spiritoftheseventies

Really like that third verse.