Jokes about the current Irish Economy

Tim Robbins

Ok, so here some I came up with in the gym...

Q. Did you hear about the Civil Servant who won The Apprentice?
A. Yeah apparently no matter what the task was there was no way he was getting fired!

Q. Why did the Civil Servants not cut back on the amount of Potatoes they were eating in the famine?
A. Because they did not cause the famine.

And how about this:

Knock Knock!!
Who's there?
Civil Service!
Civil Service who?
Due to Industrial dispute we will not be answering that question!
Well alright then, f*ck off and knock on someone else's gaf!

MagicSean

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Ok, so here some I came up with in the gym...

Q. Did you hear about the Civil Servant who won The Apprentice?
A. Yeah apparently no matter what the task was there was no way he was getting fired!

Q. Why did the Civil Servants not cut back on the amount of Potatoes they were eating in the famine?
A. Because they did not cause the famine.

And how about this:

Knock Knock!!
Who's there?
Civil Service!
Civil Service who?
Due to Industrial dispute we will not be answering that question!
Well alright then, f*ck off and knock on someone else's gaf!

They aren't jokes about the economy, they're just insults to the civil service. Well done.

jd83

How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb?
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.

mikom

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Jokes about the current Irish Economy
Ok, so here some I came up with in the gym...

Stick to pumpin' iron, Arnold.

Tim Robbins

Two more:

Did you hear that about the Civil Servant Football team who forced a replay?
They refused to settle a game by playing Extra Time!

And:

Did you heard about the Civil Servant who refused to eat a kit-kat?
He was terrified of the thought of taking a break from doing nothing!!!

Liam Byrne

Jim Henson is suing Fianna Fáil and The Greens

He has copyright over The Muppets.

Dannyboy83

Guinness Book of World Records today announced that Fianna Fail have overtaken the Soviet Union's Tsar Bomb as the most devastating threat to a country's wellbeing.

Tim Robbins

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Jim Henson is suing Fianna Fáil and The Greens

He has copyright over The Muppets.

Ha Ha.

Dannyboy83

If you had the choice of voting for Fianna Fail at the next election, or getting your head stamped in by a group of pikeys......................what shoes would you ask them to wear?

Dannyboy83

Brian Cowen.................making Anne Frank's drumkit look useful since 2005.

Dannyboy83

A little boy goes to see his dad and says, "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?"

His father replies, "Sure, son. What's the question?"

The little boy says, "What is politics?"

"Well son, let's take our home for example. I am the bread winner, so let's call me 'Brian Lenihan.' Your mother is the administrator of the house and money, so we'll call her 'Brian Cowen' We take care of your needs, so we'll call you 'The People.' We'll call the maid 'The Irish Taxpayer,' and your baby brother we can call 'The Future.' Do you understand, son?

"I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his nappy, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound in a drunken sleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.

"Dad, now I think I understand what politics is."

"Good, son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

"Well, dad, while Brian Lenihan is screwing the Irish Taxpayer, Brian Cown is pissed drunk and asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of ****.

GoldenTickets

What's the difference between a holiday in Spain and a wet week in Ireland?

A passport.

Liam Byrne

GoldenTickets wrote: »

What's the difference between a holiday in Spain and a wet week in Ireland?

A passport.

If you're telling that in the pub, make sure you pause after the question....

......that punchline is worth waiting for

Tim Robbins

Did you hear about the passport office worker who refused to accept a pack of plasters?

He said under no circumstance would he be taking any cuts.

Tim Robbins

Did you hear that no-one in the civil service will do lent anymore?

Their Unions have said under no circumstances will they be giving up anything!

gandalf

Tim don't give up the day job.........

Tim Robbins

deadtiger wrote: »

Tim don't give up the day job.........

Did you hear about the Civil Servant who was in a Karaoke competition?
They were doing quite well until they had to sing Technotronic's "Get Up, Get Up, Get Busy Busy..."

Tim Robbins

Did you hear that Viagra is to be given to the entire civil service?
The plan is to get them to get up and work hard!!!

GoldenTickets

Where do you go if you want to hear private sector workers telling bad jokes about public sector workers?

The droll office.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Piriz

Standing in the dole que on sign on day, when some Albanian guy behind me walkie-talkie starts going off inside his jacket (obviously working security somewhere and claiming the dole), he is extremely embarrassed and nervous about it as he is talking with his mate & he tries to muffle the sound..

Thats a f*cking joke IMO

And companies like Supervalue (Cavan) looking to recruit 3rd level graduates to work WPP1 unpaid work experience stacking shelves...cheeky b*stards.

Thats a ****ing joke too IMO.

ok now for the joke;

Where does one go for financial advice?


A bank:eek:

Piriz

Masked man holding a bank cashier up with a gun. Says: 'I don't want any money - I just want you to start lending to each other...



I went to the ATM earlier and it said on the screen 'Insufficient Funds' I wondered 'my account? or the banks?



I predict the divorce rate to increase, when couples assets dissolve in times of financial crisis what keeping them together?



Current definition of optimism is ironing 5 work shirts on a Sunday evening.

doc_17

this thread should have a different title

twinQuins

This isn't so much joking as it is a bunch of thinly-veiled insults against public servants.

But then what's new on this forum...

Agent Smith

Jokes about the current Irish Economy...

The Oggmonster

What did the Civil Servant do, when all around him people in the private sector were losing their jobs and taking massive pay cuts?

Nothing. He had a safe job and a great pension to go along with his flexi time and his tea breaks while his unions were coming to a deal to get his pay cuts reversed.

Piriz

Our current government have lost their fada! (Fianna Fail)

In recent years the economy has been in decline and head shops are on the rise, any correlation?

Due to Mary Harneys performance in recent years I can only conclude that she is a paranoid schizophrenic, so I think we should tell both of them to '**** off!!!'

I hear Brian Cowan, Noel Dempsey, Batt O' Keeffe & Brian Lenihan are in a band fronted by Mary Harney called Banamarama.

max 73

the financial regulator

Laminations

We elected FF three times in a row.

A joke that makes you cry

Tim Robbins

Laminations wrote: »

We elected FF three times in a row.

A joke that makes you cry

That's just like going:

"we have a civil service"...

Zamboni

max 73 wrote: »

the financial regulator

Also

http://www.odce.ie/

GoldenTickets

What's the difference between a private sector employee doing some work and a private sector employee not doing a tap all day?


Access to boards.ie

catbear

What's the capital of Ireland?





€20

Tim Robbins

Did you heard about the bloke from Anglo who went to Weight Watchers?

The instructor told him, I'm expecting big loses form you.

Tim Robbins

The EU have brought out a new rule that any Irish couple with the surname Banks that had a baby boy had to call him Robin.

Tim Robbins

Did you hear Anglo have relocated to a ghost town?
No better place for a zombie bank!

Tim Robbins

Did you hear about the banker who never missed a go when in jail when playing Monopoly?
The tax payers just kept bailing him out.

Tim Robbins

Did you hear about the newsagent who started envelope apartheid?

FF, Developers and Bankers got brown envelopes everyone else got the white ones.

Tim Robbins

Did you hear about the developers with tonnes of sticky looking books?
People aren't sure whether the librarians were lending like bankers or w*nkers?

Tim Robbins

Did you hear about the banker who went for a job as a bus driver?
He didn't get it because he had a track record of causing a crashes.

ZiX ZiX ZiX

Did you hear about the public servant who actually did an honest days hard work?

No?, me neither!

Tim Robbins

Name the bank that is going to have a serious impact on the next generation but has nothing to do with Nama?

The Sperm Bank!

thetonynator

Guess who's jealous of the public sector?

Tim Robbins.

oppenheimer1

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Ok, so here some I came up with in the gym...

Q. Did you hear about the Civil Servant who won The Apprentice?
A. Yeah apparently no matter what the task was there was no way he was getting fired!

Q. Why did the Civil Servants not cut back on the amount of Potatoes they were eating in the famine?
A. Because they did not cause the famine.

And how about this:

Knock Knock!!
Who's there?
Civil Service!
Civil Service who?
Due to Industrial dispute we will not be answering that question!
Well alright then, f*ck off and knock on someone else's gaf!

They aren't jokes about the economy. They're about the Civil Service

yeah, settle down a bit there tim..

Degsy

These sorts of thread are insulting to a whole bunch of innocent workers,childish in the extreme and not helping any fcucking thing.
Isnt it about time people gave this stuff a rest?

one2one

no.

/grabs coat

thetonynator

is tax short for taxidermist?

cos we all get stuffed!!!

galwayrush

Degsy wrote: »

These sorts of thread are insulting to a whole bunch of innocent workers,childish in the extreme and not helping any fcucking thing.
Isnt it about time people gave this stuff a rest?

Relax, this is A.H.:)

ejmaztec

Did you hear the one about the civil servant who went round to Tim Robbin's house and pulled him by the balls through the letterbox?


.

Ryanair have just started a new pricing structure, €0.01 return flights to any european destination, €150.00 one-way!