Advice please, 2 months dating - suddenly not sure whats happenin!?!

LegacyUser

Ok so a bit of background necessary for this story! two months ago I broke up with my ex bf after 7 years. (V Long story, it had been long distance for the last few years, and had found out that he'd cheated & been in contact with numerous other women thinking i didn't know. So once I got the strength to make my mind up I ended the relationship). So to put it the story in perspective I've felt **** about myself for a good while knowing all of this but it took some time to stand up for myself.

Anyways, I ended up meeting a (gorgeous!) guy on a nite out with friends the same weekend as my last relationship ended and we've been kind of seeing each other since.

The thing is he is a work colleague of my housemate so it's a little awkward seeing each other without everyone knowing our business!! He also lives with work colleagues, so as u can imagine a lot of male slagging is a bit much every day at work. So it kind of just kept between us and I've seen him about once a week since, we've spent a few weekends together just us, and end up staying over at each others places every week oblivious to our other housemates, watchin dvd's, chats etc We chat online all the time on msn, text n skype sometimes in between too etc etc. Now, I really fancy this guy and he really makes me laugh and I feel so much happier since I've met him.

However, last weekend I finally slept with him for the first time (bearing in mind that this is the only guy I've slept with other than my previous bf - It's not as if we hadn't been intimate before, but just hadn't actually had sex until the weekend). (Also, he broke up with his previous gf about 6 months ago after 3.5 yrs so its not as if he's constantly sleeping around or anything)

Now, when I was leavin he told me to text him later on that evenin and everything seemed great but he's started acting a lil odd since and not really responding that much to my texts etc. We're not "going out" - (haven't had the define the whats going on chat yet!) but two months later I'm not sure what this is and now that I've fallen for him I don't want to appear too pushy asking why he's not replying like he used, but I'm so headwrecked I can't think of anything else!!! It's been so long since i've been in the dating scene what should I do?? Help, advice, please!!!!!??!!

pilph

Don't panic Stacey693.

When you do sleep with someone new, even for a bloke, it can be tough. Many years ago I had been with a girl in a long term relationship that ended. The next time I slept with a girl, I was wracked with guilt and found it very tough even though there was nothing at all wrong with the next girl. She was really nice, but just the whole change that occurred was very hard to take in.

What I'd say is give him a bit of space. What I have found is that once a long term relationship ends, it is very difficult to jump straight into a new one. The intimacy factor is a big deal. The second girl in my situation above was also someone I worked with which again made things a bit tougher.

Don't panic because if you both really want this, it will work, that's what I think. But a little bit of space can really help.

Miss Fluff

pilph wrote: »

Don't panic because if you both really want this, it will work, that's what I think. But a little bit of space can really help.

I agree on the space thing. His head could be melted for any number of reasons but don't start panicking and sending him text after text or being on MSN all the time if you feel there has been some shift in the dynamic. Give him the time (not too much!) to get his head straight and hopefully it will work out. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation so don't crowd him.

There is a possiblity (and I hate to say this, but I have seen it time and time again so have to put it out there) that now he has slept with you, the chase if effectively over for him. Regardless of how sound he is not/him not being a player, have seen this happen a lot so that could be a possibility. I hope for your sake it's not though...

LegacyUser

Thanks guys,
Unfortunately Miss Fluff i wish you were wrong but think you're right about the chase over = no interest ;( feel like such an idiot