Still Suffering.

brad99

Hi, i walked out on my girlfriend of 4 yrs, 6 months ago after she beat me, leaving me with 2 black eyes and a crushed heart. We had been having problems for a while. She smokes alot of weed alot more since she was made redundant last year, i used to come home from work and she would be stoned. This caused alot of communication problems between us. I still love her, my heart still breaks when i think of her. I am in such a state of deciding to work things out or risk losing my family and friends respect as they always said i was to good for her.

Nevyn

You need to get help and support.
Did you go to your dr so that there is a record of your injuries?
Have you spoken to anyone else about this.

Amen Helpline: 046 9023 718 / 086 7941 880, Email: info@amen.ie
AMEN, St. Anne's Resource Centre, Railway Street, Navan, Co. Meath

pilgrim1

if the shoe was on the other foot, what would happen? I've supported a friend who was in a very abusive relationship, which culminated in him being stabbed. thankfully not life threatening.

Abuse is abuse no matter where it comes from, or from whom. Never mind losing the respect of your friends or family. What about your self respect? I have to say at this point, that I have smoked copious amounts of weed in the past, thought i was dealing with lifes problems in my own stoned way, started to not like it any more so I stopped. Been smoking lots and lots of weed (about 1oz a week). After stopping for about three months the panic attecks started. Not fckng pleasent at all. Ended up in A&E more times than I care to remember. #this is all when I WAS STRAIGHT!!!!. Never abused my partner in any way though. Weed doesn't make you agressive, It's either in you or it's not.

Walk away from this abusive relationship no matter how hard it is. Give both of ou the time and space to think it through. You owe yourself at least that.

Sort it out best you can

Cheap Thrills!

Please don't go back OP. You are worth more. The weed/being made redundant is no excuse for what she did.

I know its probably tempting to just think of the good times and to rartionalise her behaviour but if you did go back it will happen again, thenyou are back to square one.

You've six months under your belt, I think you should really talk it out with a professional like Thaedydal suggested.

I'm sure you are in a bad place right now and very confused. I hope you get through this and things get better.

brad99

Thanks for your advice guys, i keep weighing the pros and cons. I think of the good times and my heart flutters. On the other hand i look at the photo's of my face and what she done an i just shake my head in disbelief.

LegacyUser

My dad's best friend was stabbed to death by his partner when I was little. My dad had tried to encourage him to leave and he had but he always wound going back to her.

If it were your sister would you want her going back to an abusive partner? No. The drugs are no excuse.

Of course there's good times. The man I mentioned before had great times with his partner too. He was murdered and she walks free as a bird today. She claimed she was a victim of HIS abuse despite much evidence to the contrary.

Please don't go back. You can do so much better. You deserve better.

ManOfMystery

Just remember, when you're looking back you're doing so with rose-tinted glasses. The unfortunate reality is that she would probably do this again if she lost her temper, abuse like this never tends to be a one-off.

And to think stoners are meant to be calmer people. I wonder what her temper would be like if she hadn't been smoking weed!

mood

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Please don't go back OP. You are worth more. The weed/being made redundant is no excuse for what she did.

I know its probably tempting to just think of the good times and to rartionalise her behaviour but if you did go back it will happen again, thenyou are back to square one.

You've six months under your belt, I think you should really talk it out with a professional like Thaedydal suggested.

I'm sure you are in a bad place right now and very confused. I hope you get through this and things get better.

+1. Never contact her again. But get help and I'm sure you will feel better in time. Have you reported the incident?

Taltos

OP

Get those thoughts about going back out of your head now.
It will only get worse.

Instead march thee to a Police station and report what happened. You have survived though scarred mentally. The next bloke might not be so lucky - see one of the earlier posts - what if she had a knife close to hand?

No - I am sure you think she would never do that. But bet you felt just as sure she would never hit you.

Please seek help, you need to talk this through to people who can help you. But don't not even for a minute consider going back. Just don't do that to yourself.

brad99

I'm very grateful to ye for taking the time to give me advice. It has been helpful.

I'm going to just take my time, not going to contact her.

stackerman

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Just remember, when you're looking back you're doing so with rose-tinted glasses

+ 1

I'm affraid she is not worth it.
Move on, and in time, when you look back . . . .

You'll wonder why it took you so long to see the obvious

Good luck and dont consider getting back together

bronte

Oh dear God, please don't go back to that.
You deserve so much better.
You'll find someone in future who will love you completely, but for now you've had a lucky escape.

I hope you can move past this,just give it time.