I'm just unhappy.

LegacyUser

ok so basically:
->I'm the family failure (dropped out of first college course and probably going to fail this year too, failed at everything I've ever done basically).
->Exam stress is getting me down. I know I'm going tofail and just be an absolute disgrace again.
->my old friends have moved on and my new friends don't seem to see themselves as as good friends as I see them eg. when they're there we get really well but I feel I'm always the after thought. So now to outsiders I look like that girl with loads of friends but I don't feel like I have anybody I can tell these problems too.
-> I'm almost 20 and I've never had a boyfriend, I know that's not that wierd but I'm the type of girl that has ALWAYS wanted a relationship. I'm so sick of this "go out, get drunk and kiss some radom boy who'll get your hopes up and then never text you". And I have tried other things too: I've joined clubs, gone to the gym, tried being friends first. Nothing. And most everbody I know is in a relationship and it just makes me SO jelous.
-> I don't like myself. I just don't like my personality and there's nothing I can do about it! I just annoy myself so much sometimes I think it's a no wonder I'm single with no real friends.
I just feel so lost. I know I have SO much to be thankful for but I can't be. All I see is the bad. I don't even know why I'm posting this...I guess I just need to tell someone. Please, if you've any advice or anything tell me. Thanks.

Shayman

Hey come on. You can't be a failure at 20! You just need a confidence boost. Maybe change your social scene if you're not happy with your existing one. Join some clubs maybe?

LegacyUser

Ok, it sounds like you are seriously lacking in confidence. Just because you started a course you decided to drop out of, does not make you a failure. It means you tried something realised it wasn't for you and got out. No shame in that, none whatsoever. Right now you say you are feeling exam stress in your current course. I can guarantee you that almost everyone starts to feel that crunch at this time of year. Don't start to tell yourself you will fail because you will have yourself a self-fullfilling prophecy right there. It's only March you have LOADS of time left for college work and study.

As regards the frieds situation, that can be tough. I have found myself in a position like yours before, but if you like the friends you have at the moment then maybe make a bigger effort at spending time with them. Arrange things-drinks, nights out whatever you like. It will make you a more central part of the group. Give you more of a place, and less of a feeling of being an afterthought. These friends at the moment probably don't realise you feel as you do.

As regards not liking yourself, I am not sure exactly what to say. From the sound of your post you seem like someone who has been through the mill a bit and your beating yourself about it. Talk to your family, it is doubtful they think of you as the family failure. Tell them how you feel, and they might be able to remind you how much they love you. You need to be able to love yourself before you get into a relationship with anybody either. How can you ask anyone to love you if you don't love yourself? Chin up and good luck, you are young you have so much to be happy about and look forward too.

profitius

boobo wrote: »

ok so basically:
->I'm the family failure (dropped out of first college course and probably going to fail this year too, failed at everything I've ever done basically).
->Exam stress is getting me down. I know I'm going tofail and just be an absolute disgrace again.
->my old friends have moved on and my new friends don't seem to see themselves as as good friends as I see them eg. when they're there we get really well but I feel I'm always the after thought. So now to outsiders I look like that girl with loads of friends but I don't feel like I have anybody I can tell these problems too.
-> I'm almost 20 and I've never had a boyfriend, I know that's not that wierd but I'm the type of girl that has ALWAYS wanted a relationship. I'm so sick of this "go out, get drunk and kiss some radom boy who'll get your hopes up and then never text you". And I have tried other things too: I've joined clubs, gone to the gym, tried being friends first. Nothing. And most everbody I know is in a relationship and it just makes me SO jelous.
-> I don't like myself. I just don't like my personality and there's nothing I can do about it! I just annoy myself so much sometimes I think it's a no wonder I'm single with no real friends.
I just feel so lost. I know I have SO much to be thankful for but I can't be. All I see is the bad. I don't even know why I'm posting this...I guess I just need to tell someone. Please, if you've any advice or anything tell me. Thanks.

Think positively!

Your negative thoughts are the reason your life isn't running smoothly at the moment. Ever hear of the law of attraction? Well you're attracting negative things because you think negatively.

I'll use friends as an example. When they hang around with you they're feeling that negative vibe you're giving out. So its human nature to not want to be around negativity. But the good news is the opposite is also true so keep that in mind.

Be more positive and things will improve alot.

banquo

You're probably feeling like a failure because you're smart but not book-smart: the exact kind of smart that makes people excel at school and college. Remember, they don't test your brains, only your ability to pass exams.

I had my first girlfriend at 19. Am 24 now and couldn't be happier (mostly). It's not a big deal, don't worry