women and what they mean...

force majeure

As the more savvy off you well have caught on by the title the Force is in a right old tight spot.
Not wanting to go on a long pointless waffle I'll ask straight out the following question.
When a guy blunders big time due to misinformation and duly goes M.I.A for a few years [bang slap after professing his love to a woman] then through some tomfollery on guys side gets back in touch he deserves a good kick I would expect, said kick happened now through 2nd hand talk I being told to get back in touch again as every one seems to know about the misunderstanding bar the one person who matters [woman in question appears not to know] yet I am having a few fears that she may only start getting annoyed with me.
So now I did the waffling I said I would not do I ask.... what would a woman regard as too much hassle.
Please for give the slow response as I know need to log off and drive home, I'm on a limited batter life here.
Thanks bordies.

shellyboo

Hard to help without knowing the details, but I'd say this first of all - women (people in general, in fact) have varying definitions and tolerances for hassle. Doesn't matter what I or any other boardsie thinks is too much or enough - only the woman in question's opinion matters.

So I'd recommend just talking to her.

JonathanAnon

No offence OP, but with your mixed tenses, lack of punctuation, switching from first person to third person.... your post is just confusing.. Why not just write a brief description of what exactly happened instead of alluding to what happened?

Ickle Magoo

Impossible to say force,

Some women would want revenge, some would want nothing to do with you and others forgive with a bit of coaxing and other straight away - without knowing the lady in question, we have no idea what category she falls into and what the likely outcome to you getting in touch would be...

sorry.

force majeure

JonathanAnon wrote: »

No offence OP, but with your mixed tenses, lack of punctuation, switching from first person to third person.... your post is just confusing.. Why not just write a brief description of what exactly happened instead of alluding to what happened?

Thats just me... never have managed to talk straight in my life... the brain half fried I'm afraid.

force majeure

OK I am going to clarify matters here as the OP was rushed due to battery life dropping like lead on the laptop.
First off we got along like a house on fire. Not much happened between us for the first year as she was just finding her feet after splitting from her hubby. They as mindless office gossip over took things we both found ourselves caught in a hard place. [work reasons meant we saw each other a lot at her place off work] Then things went pear shaped when I was told a big porky that I at the time believed to be true, as a result I went M.I.A [missing in action] to add to this I had the impression my presence was having a negative effect on her professional reputation.
any way after stopping visits to her she called me once and asked me to keep in touch. I did not... [yee I know]
Now after a few years I called her up over a matter that needed dealing with and it was just about possible to do this.
To top it all off, until recently I was unaware she did not know about the fib I was told nor apparently the possible affect on her professional reputation... until a mate I meet a week ago who knows us both filled me in on the latest.
Now is any off this making since.....
Question being she is I know from my mate quiet pissed off with me for not keeping in touch [ a promise I made] and hence my dilemma, should I call her again and risk a big fall out [ as in blazing argy on the phone] or just drop the whole thing. As the last thing I want is to go about unsettling her.
PS she is not involved with any one at the moment.

Sheena99

Why not? Worst outcome would be a PFO, and since ye're not in contact at the minute, you won't be any worse off. If she's glad to hear from you, you can explain what caused you to go MIA and see where you go from there. Good luck.

Miss Fluff

I'd say you probably need to give your testicles a good tight squeeze, i.e. grab your balls. This speculation and "he said" and "she said" is fine if you are a fifteen year old girl. Not if you are a grown man. Not giving any information on the circumstances and then asking everyone here what goes on in a woman's head is basically the same as asking how long a piece of string is. If you want the answer why don't you go and find out. Go and ask her....

katie99

What a wimp. Are you 15 or a mature, adult?
Go phone the lady and invite her for a coffee or a drink and talk with her.
For Goodness sake I've never read such intelligable waffle in a long time, not since my last Catherine Cookson novel.
Grow up. If you want to go out with her TELL HER. It doesn't matter whether she is seeing someone else or not. If she likes you she will go out with you. Just show some BALLS and stop acting like an immature, spotty 15 year old.

force majeure

Well then if i get a baring order issued by the courts I be back here to inform you all.... as clearly I have not made the problem clear enough.

Miss Fluff

force majeure wrote: »

Well then if i get a baring order issued by the courts I be back here to inform you all.... as clearly I have not made the problem clear enough.

If you want more specific advice then you probably need to give more specific details

Jaxxy

force majeure wrote: »

Well then if i get a baring order issued by the courts I be back here to inform you all.... as clearly I have not made the problem clear enough.

It's about as clear as mud. Okay so the deal is someone told you something about her. Something nasty. You believed them, cut all contact with the woman you said you had professed your love for and scarpered.

Now you're back in touch (due to work I assume?) and just realised that the lady in question didn't know that you cut all contact because someone told you a "fib" about her.

If this is correct that was your first mistake. You listened to idle gossip and instead of confronting the woman you "loved" like any adult would you decided to ignore her instead. To me it seems like you didn't love her at all.

And now it seems as though you want to get involved with her purely because she is annoyed with you and is therefore unattainable. Or is it because you feel guilty? Either way you have to sit down and decide what it is you want from her. Because if she forgives you and then you go "MIA" again, well, it doesn't say much for your character.

If a relationship with her is something you would like to pursue then you have to talk to her and explain things from your POV. If it were me I probably wouldn't give you the time of day, but as people before me have said, every woman is different. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

grow a pair, and talk to her. but only if you are going to stick around, otherwise dont fackin bother

The Sweeper

If there's the remotest chance someone would take a barring order out against you if you contacted them, then who are you fucking kidding in even considering contacting them?