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Your favourite simile

  • 19-03-2010 12:48am
    #1
    RATM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,591 ✭✭✭


    Was just at a comedy night last Sunday and realised alot of the performers used similes to great effect.

    So what's your favourite simile ?

    I love the simile 'he's as tight as a nun's crack':D


«13

Comments

  • #2
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,238 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    Subtle as a brick to the face

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



  • #3
    witnessmenow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,264 ✭✭✭witnessmenow


    http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/4475392/smile1-main_Full.jpg

    oh wait, am i doing it wrong?


  • #4
    Turtyturd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,398 ✭✭✭✭Turtyturd


    Nothing beats a facsimilie.


  • #5
    partyatmygaff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,992 ✭✭✭✭partyatmygaff


    Turtyturd wrote: »
    Nothing beats a facsimilie.
    Except an axe to the fax.


  • #6
    Agricola
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    bent as an s-hook


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  • #7
    mikom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    A simile is like a metaphor.


  • #8
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    She's wet as a swimming pool...


    Okay, I just made that up but I'm totally using it...


  • #9
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Nervous Wreck wrote: »
    She's wet as a swimming pool...


    Okay, I just made that up but I'm totally using it...
    Dripping like a fucked fridge.

    Way better.


  • #10
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    Sticks like sh*t to a blanket.

    Tight as a nuns knickers.


  • #11
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    El Weirdo wrote: »
    Dripping like a fucked fridge.

    Way better.

    I'm pretty grossed out. You totally win.


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  • #12
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    This one is terrible but my sis said it to me and she's dyslexic so I think I'm allowed :pac:

    "Sweatin' like a dyslexic on countdown"


  • #13
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Bonito wrote: »
    This one is terrible but my sis said it to me and she's dyslexic so I think I'm allowed

    "Sweatin' like a dyslexic on countdown"
    Along the same lines:

    "Sweating like a paedophile blowing up a bouncy castle"


  • #14
    Sinfonia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    Wet as an otter's pocket


  • #15
    partyatmygaff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,992 ✭✭✭✭partyatmygaff


    Damper than the Shannon, filthier than the Liffey. :pac:


  • #16
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    As sick as a plane to Lourdes.


  • #17
    Kinetic^
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    Face like a bag of lego, in bits!

    She's had more flute in her than the national concert hall!


  • #18
    epgc3fyqirnbsx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,228 ✭✭✭epgc3fyqirnbsx


    A face like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle

    As mad as a box of frogs


  • #19
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    This one: :eek:


    Oh wait.....


  • #20
    Fizman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    She has a growler like a burst mattress.


  • #21
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    bronte wrote: »
    This one: :eek:
    Oh wait.....

    Dirty bish ;)


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  • #22
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Colder than a witch's tit

    She looks like she was rode hard and put out wet


  • #23
    chocgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭chocgirl


    A face like a slapped arse.

    My grandad used to say it when I was small and my sister and I would fall around the place laughing.


  • #24
    epgc3fyqirnbsx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,228 ✭✭✭epgc3fyqirnbsx


    A fanny like a badly packed kebab


  • #25
    we'llallhavetea_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    went like a hot snot.


  • #26
    Executive Steve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,373 ✭✭✭Executive Steve


    "I'd give her a face like a painter's radio"


  • #27
    DerMutt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 132 ✭✭DerMutt


    I'm as sick as a small hospital.

    She had a face like a bag of cats.


  • #28
    Jev/N
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,456 ✭✭✭Jev/N


    A face like a bulldog chewin' on a wasp :pac:


  • #29
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    I liked Slimer in the film but he became much more a part of the Ghostbuster team in the cartoon series so I guess that's when he became my favourite.


  • #30
    SoWatchaWant
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,213 ✭✭✭SoWatchaWant


    She summoned the other strippers with a hawk like shriek and they all surrounded Trent like people surrounding a person!


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  • #31
    Mahatma coat
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,869 ✭✭✭Mahatma coat


    Rough as a Badgers foreskin

    Like Kickin a Bag of Sh!te up a hill

    As cold as a Nuns C*nt on Good friday


  • #32
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,738 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Sweating like a miser in a taxi


  • #33
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Sweating like a Paedo in a Barney suit.


  • #34
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    meaning drunk:

    As full as a bingo bus.


  • #35
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    a fanny like a hippo's roar


  • #36
    MadPatrick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 304 ✭✭MadPatrick


    As blind as a welder's dog

    All over the place, like a mad woman's breakfast

    As dry as a nun's cunt


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  • #37
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Teeth like a row of condemned houses.


  • #38
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Flatter that a witches tittie

    Rougher than a bag of hammers.


  • #39
    randomuser77
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 125 ✭✭randomuser77


    Happy as a cat with a cream flavoured arse


  • #40
    bazza1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭bazza1


    Stickin' out like Sh1t on a wedding cake! :D


  • #41
    Elenxor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 485 ✭✭Elenxor


    As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit


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  • #42
    DetectivFoxtrot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭DetectivFoxtrot


    skinny: I've seen more meat on a butchers toothpick

    some nerve: He has a neck like a jockey's bollox


  • #43
    thebillynator
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 855 ✭✭✭thebillynator


    busier than a one legged man in a football match

    colder than a brass artic toilet seat

    as frustrated as an amish electrician


  • #44
    bonzodog2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,285 ✭✭✭bonzodog2


    As much use as a chocolate fireguard


  • #45
    griffdaddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,417 ✭✭✭griffdaddy


    These chips are as burnt as fúck.


  • #46
    DetectivFoxtrot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭DetectivFoxtrot


    when referring to a stupid and/or hygienically challenged individual:

    "He's thick as gick and twice as smelly"

    my OH claims to have made that up but I don't believe him!:P


  • #47
    kpbdublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 156 ✭✭kpbdublin


    From Black Adder: As useless as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest
    As useless as a pecker on a pope
    As useless as a lapdancer in the college of cardinals


  • #48
    lynnmarie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 ✭lynnmarie


    Ya wouldn't ride her into battle!.


  • #49
    landsleaving
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,345 ✭✭✭landsleaving


    kpbdublin wrote: »
    As useless as a pecker on a pope
    As useless as a lapdancer in the college of cardinals

    Don't read the news do ya?


  • #50
    cbmonstra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 218 ✭✭cbmonstra


    Dumber than a bag of wet mice


  • #51
    Thomas828
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭Thomas828


    Drunk as a skunk. As bent as a nine-bob note. As mad as a goose on stilts.


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