His Ex

LegacyUser

ive been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks. Things seemed to be going well. He told me he liked me and i like him too. Things have been going ok, we've met each others friends and been trying to get to know each other.

He told me a couple of weeks ago that he had broken up with a gf of 4 years at christmas. I felt he'd been a bit distant the last week or so. We went out on tuesday and had a great time, my friends and his friends. Yesterday we finally had the talk.

He says that we are not going anywhere. He is not over his ex. He likes hanging out with me but he cant go out with me, he wouldnt be any good for me. He admitted he had been evasive in not telling me that this was going nowhere.

Now Im confused. he has been the one making this like a relationship. always looking to introduce me to his friends and meet mine. we are like a couple when we are together and keep in touch a lot when we're not.

I told him i didn't think i could jsut hang out if it wasnt going anywhere. i dont know where we have left it now.

i dont think i can be with him jsut casually. we're already like a couple and if we kept on we would be so entwined in each others llife. i would never be able to meet someone who actually wanted to be with me.

i cant help feeling hes just not that into me. that if he liked me more he could see a future with me. I dont expect him to just get over it immediately and that we will be instantly bf/gf. im not sure we would work or where we are gonna be in a few months, but i dont want to be with someone who thinks tehy could never be with me if that makes sense.

i dont know what to do now. is he jsut upset right now? i do think he likes me. i suppose i have to believe what hes telling me. i do like spending time with him though and id miss not seeing him

any words of wisdom?

Kimia

vconfused wrote: »

He says that we are not going anywhere. He is not over his ex. He likes hanging out with me but he cant go out with me, he wouldnt be any good for me.

Ok - he's being honest with you.

vconfused wrote: »

Now Im confused. he has been the one making this like a relationship. always looking to introduce me to his friends and meet mine. we are like a couple when we are together and keep in touch a lot when we're not.

Why are you confused - he's just told you honestly how he feels?

vconfused wrote: »

I told him i didn't think i could jsut hang out if it wasnt going anywhere.

Fair enough.

vconfused wrote: »

i dont know where we have left it now.

I think he was pretty clear.

vconfused wrote: »

i dont think i can be with him jsut casually. we're already like a couple and if we kept on we would be so entwined in each others llife. i would never be able to meet someone who actually wanted to be with me.

Totally agree with you.

vconfused wrote: »

i cant help feeling hes just not that into me. that if he liked me more he could see a future with me.

You're right. He's just not that into you. He told you this. Straight out.

vconfused wrote: »

i dont know what to do now.

You know what to do, you just don't want to have to do it. Move on. Have some respect for yourself. He doesn't want to be with you. I'm sorry.

ash23

He's made himself clear. He doesn't want to be your boyfriend. I'm in exactly the same position, seeing a guy for 6 weeks, he was doing the chasing,we were basically a couple for all intents and purposes but not officially.
When I wanted it to be official he told me he doesn't want to get serious.


I had two choices. You have the same two choices.

1. Keep seeing him, acting like a couple, getting in deeper and deeper and hoping he changes his mind but leaving myself wide open to being very hurt.

2. Accepting his decision, cutting all contact and moving on to find someone who does actually want me as his girlfriend.


I went for door number 2.
I'd advise you to do the same.

mood

If he is not over he ex then there is no chance for the two of you. Just move on and forget him.