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What has gotten into me?

  • 15-03-2010 9:08pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'll cut to the chase. Ive been with my girlfriend 1.5 years, its been a Long Distance relationship for most of it (still is). I only get to see her every 4-6 weeks. We get on great when we see each other, love her to pieces, could not ask for a better girlfriend.

    Here is where the issue is... since i started going out her, i generally calmed down going out on a friday / sat night because mostly because my mates are single and are usually out on the prowl. But more recently I have started going out way more with my mates, nearly every saturday night and end up drinking a bit too much. I have been getting a bit of attention off other girls, more than I did before anyways. I don't know why, but it made me feel really good about myself. At the beginning of the relationship, there were a few things that knocked my confidence. (Mainly due to not-so-good sex, and her not being open with me).

    I would never cheat on her, but I can't understand why I feel like i need this attention by going out with the lads and chatting to other girls. I always draw the line, but some night I feel like i will eventually do something stupid.

    I just can't pinpoint why i'm behaving like this.


Comments

  • #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    What age are you OP?


  • #3
    BobbyOLeary
    Closed Accounts Posts: 859 ✭✭✭BobbyOLeary


    outout wrote: »
    I would never cheat on her, but I can't understand why I feel like i need this attention by going out with the lads and chatting to other girls. I always draw the line, but some night I feel like i will eventually do something stupid.

    Going out with your mates and chatting to other girls is cheating nowadays? In that case I'm the most unfaithful man in the world. Talking is fine, having a dance is fine, kissing them is not. You're out having a laugh and you're going home alone. I really don't see a problem. It's completely normal to like going out talking to the opposite sex. Also, when in a relationship men tend to be less sleazy and "on the pull" as opposed to when they're single so they are less threatening than other men. Usually results in women being more receptive in my experience anyway.

    As for doing something stupid, only you can choose to do that. Don't blame drink, you'll only cheat if you want to.


  • #4
    magneticimpulse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    Do you crave a bunny boiler girlfriend? Someone who will give you lots of attention to boost your self esteem? Its ok to chat to other people. But if you are doing it for these reasons, you should think about sorting out your self esteem. and confidence Otherwise it will haunt you in relationships and you will never feel complete with one person. Either you will want them to fall all over you or you will have to compensate the attention by getting it elsewhere.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Op here.

    I’m 23 years old, my gf is 24.

    As for wanting a bunny boiler girlfriend, I definitely don’t want that. I don’t know why all of a sudden I feel like I need this attention. I know it is probably something underlying but I just can’t pinpoint it.


  • #6
    prinz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    outout wrote: »
    Here is where the issue is... since i started going out her, i generally calmed down going out on a friday / sat night because mostly because my mates are single and are usually out on the prowl. But more recently I have started going out way more with my mates, nearly every saturday night and end up drinking a bit too much..

    I was in a LDR relationship and did the same thing, relax, I knew in the back of my mind that when the distance ended I wouldn't have the opportunity to go out as much on the beer with the lads. So I enjoyed it every chance I got.
    outout wrote: »
    I have been getting a bit of attention off other girls, more than I did before anyways. I don't know why, but it made me feel really good about myself...

    Bobby answered this as good as anyone could..
    BobbyOLeary wrote: »
    Also, when in a relationship men tend to be less sleazy and "on the pull" as opposed to when they're single so they are less threatening than other men. Usually results in women being more receptive in my experience anyway.

    ..and in mine. I made a few friends (girls) that way tbh. It was so much easier chatting to girls while my friends tried to score her friend or something, with no pressure on. I just made sure to mention my OH early on and from then on it was just good fun. Still friends with a few girls that I met on nights out.
    BobbyOLeary wrote: »
    As for doing something stupid, only you can choose to do that. Don't blame drink, you'll only cheat if you want to.

    +1. OP it's down to you at the end of the day, if you want to cheat you will, if you don't you won't.


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